Monday, January 09, 2006

Things I Say That No One Understands:

  1. "Post-haste!" I said this to a waitress two years ago and Tiffany nearly laughed herself to death. I still say it, along with other archaic phrases that I've assimilated over the years from books, BBC productions, and Masterpiece Theater.
  2. "That’s So Ginchy!" I know it’s from the 50s. Isn’t it enough that I want my house to look like the 50s? Do I have to speak like it too?
  3. "Don’t Get Me Started. Don’t even get me started." Molly Shannon had a reoccurring character on SNL once called “Jeannie Darcy.” Darcy was a very bad, overly rehearsed, nearly monotone, female standup comedian that was stuck in 1990. She wore a bolo tie, oversized sparkly coat, and spiky hair ala mullet. Just like our own Lisa V.C., Jeannie also had an extremely inappropriate appearance at a nursing home.
    Thank you. Hi, folks. I'm Jeannie Darcy. Hey, is it me or is it cold enough to
    hang meat in here? Don't get me started. I'm a little cranky today. It must be PMS. Ladies, I get it so bad, I don't have periods. I have exclamation points.
    Don't get me started. Do not get me started.
  4. “This Stinks! This is totally Bogus!” Uttered by one of my favorite supporting characters on a sit-com ever, Bob ‘Bulldog’ Briscoe from Frasier. It’s his signature phrase and it makes me laugh so hard. I say it to amuse myself and apparently no one else…
  5. “Fruhk-tose.” So obscure, that no one is going to get this one. If you do, then we can totally be friends.
  6. “I love lamp!”
  7. “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
  8. “You should watch Arrested Development.” I say this a lot. However, it must come out of my mouth sounding like “Schweegle nozzle harry bots” because people aren’t watching Arrested Development and now it might go off the air for a very long time.


La Yen said...

W says many of those things, too. Especially the last three.

Eckton and I say "I'll say! I'm starting a paper route right now!" from Pee Wee.

W and I say "Perhaps he knows too much! He's seen the accursed treasure. He know's where it be hid" from the Pi-Rates.

One time I sent W's brother a postcard from Alcatraz, the only thing written on it was "Now, here's something the other tour guards won't tell you." He immediately knew it was from me.

Many of the things I say come from the Nayvor's kids: Nayvor (neighbor), Bunsies and Bunna (genetalia), Pamps (pants), Jambas (jammies), Po Fort (por favor), Bife (any type of meat), Boylos (the dogs), Jooj, Ganz, the list goes on and on...

AzĂșcar said...

Is W invited to the pants party?

J & I say "It puts the lotion in the basket!" when a demand must be met that is a common boring household chore, or a request without a good reason behind it.

~j. said...

It does this whenever it's told.

Anonymous said...

Now THAT is funny!! (besides being one of my favorite movies)

Kiki said...

"It puts the lotion in the basket!" HAHAHAHA! I was just discussing this with some friends not even an hour ago. It makes me laugh. (Does anyone here watch Monk? The actor who plays the police chief also plays Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs.)

Some things I say:
"Good one, Goyle. You're absolutely right!"
"And that's why that no work." (I say lots of things from Greek Wedding, now that I think about it.)
"You want some milk?!" (That's a new one.)
"Loud NOISES!"
"Good times."
"Whoa...I didn't say all THAT!"
"Cocaine's a helluva drug."
"If you're not yet a woman, you got no business playin' at this."

I liked this post.

BowlerGirl said...

-What the freak?!?! (so 80's)
-That is soooooo GAY!(also so 80's)
-Pronto! (East coast)
-That is all...(cuts off any annoying conversation or story pretty fast)
I'm sure that there are other ones out there...Hubby is terribly fond of 'So hot, milk was a bad idea!' and singing 'Afternoon Delight' whenever possible.

La Yen said...

I caught myself saying "It puts the lotion on its skin" to The Jooj a while ago and Waldo cut me off--"Are you going to give her the hose again? Not to MY baby!" and snatched her away...

We also say "It twin."

My favorite curse word is "Nutsticles."

~j. said...

"Yeh so retaahded."
"No, YOU ahh."

Geo said...

"Your pants are on fire!" This is our home remedy for hiccups.

c jane said...

"That hurts my feelings" I say it about everything. I over-use it. It came from a lady I know who told me that her feelings were hurt over something quite random. So I use it randomly as well.

i.e. This comment really hurts my feelings (but don't EVEN get me started...)

Emmie said...

I like to say "That's really none of your business" when people ask me harmless questions.

AzĂșcar said...

Tahmmy! PLEASE tell me you got that on tape!

more caffeine, please said...

Alright, alright, alright. *said with a cheesy/lustfull twang*(Matthew M. in Dazed and Confuzed).

I don't know MARGO!
(Christmas Vacation)

Killing me Smalls.

BowlerGirl said...

"Killing me Smalls" I believe originated from Arsnic and Old Lace.....and I use that one ALL the time.

The hurt feelings is funny, I always bug Hubby by telling saying "Your hurting my heart!" when he does stuff I don't want him to do.

Rachel said...

"a third of a gopher would arouse my appetite without bedding her back down."--Oh Brother

"There's what's right and there's what's right. And ne'er the twain shall meet."--Raising Arizona

and I LOVE/HATE the molly shannon skit. it makes my skin crawl. but actually not nearly as much as anything with rachel dratsch.

Emmie said...

Souvenirs, novelties, party tricks . . .
The pen is on the table (said in a German accent)

Both from Top Secret! Starring a young and handsome Val Kilmer.

Kiki said...

"TURN to the RIGHT!"
"Down the hall, two doors down, on the left." complete with hand motions.
And whenever someone tells me a story told by their sister's boyfriend's best friend (or some similar thing where you have to draw imaginary lines to figure out who the person's talking about), I have to spout off, "My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from a guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at at 31 flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."
"I'll always have a place at the Dairy Queen."

Kiki said...

I thought of another one while we were out and about today, and it's not a movie quote or anything. Whenever someone gets caught doing something, I naturally say, "Busted!" I naturally say "Busted!" to ANYTHING.

-I ran out of toothpaste.

-I don't know where I put the remote control.

-I bought a butterfinger, but I really wanted M&Ms.

Most of the time, it makes no sense at all, and people ask me, "Why am I busted? What's busted? What are you talking about?" I'm just talking. That's how I roll.