I understand now why there is child abuse.
When you’re ready to go out the door at, say, 9:15am, full of the hope that you will arrive at work before the clock hits double digits (for the first time in a long time,) and instead you don’t leave the house until after 10:30am, it puts a crimp on your day.
Now, far be it from me, of all people, to deny anyone the right to get up on the wrong side of the bed. However, when you have a toddler who arose on the wrong side of the bed, all the damn world knows it.
The screaming could be a clue…the two hour long tantrum of screaming. It’s all because, against my better judgment, I decided to be nice and let him “watch-ey Elmo” while I was getting ready. I guess he decided that because I let him watch Sesame, every other whim and wish should be satisfied immediately. I decide to ignore the unreasonable demands. This decision reaps the whirlwind of fury.
When it was time to get him dressed, I was even nice and brought the accoutrements to the TV so his viewing wouldn’t be compromised. This was not acceptable. Fine! FINE! I said, after trying to reason with him (and wrestle) for twenty minutes, we will go get dressed on the changing table in your room as usual. This is even more unacceptable in his view.
It takes me another twenty minutes to get him changed and dressed. During this time I believe I may have uttered the following phrase:
You’re getting dressed because I am NOT going to jail today for leaving you at
home alone (even though I want to.)
I do not speak to him as I struggle to get him into his car seat. He whines because instead of music we are going to listen to NPR like I want to (because I am in charge) and I’m not speaking to him anyway.
When we get to Grandpa’s, we alight from the car. I take his hand because I don’t feel like having him run into traffic (it’s not because we’re friends right now, believe me.)
I say to my father “Here, you take him.”
“Oh I’d be happy to!” says chipper Grandpa.
The Traitor runs happily and peacefully into Grandpa’s arms, all smiles and good cheers.
I, all stormy clouds and resentment, head to work.