jetsetgreen

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

You Think You Know - But You Have No Idea

I was sitting in Miss Jarvis’ ninth grade Honors English class when I realized two things: yes, indeed, Miss Jarvis was totally slamming my class because this was the first year in all her ten years of teaching that not one person read and understood Elvish, and, yes, I couldn’t see the board! Fourteen years old and I had to get glasses (Nintendo brand boy glasses from ShopKo Optical, thanks for asking.) My life was sooo over. No one in my entire family had to have corrective lenses. Maybe my mom was right about that late night reading by poor light, sitting too close to the TV, eating watermelon seeds, and punching our neighbor’s kittens. I don’t know, I wasn’t listening, she could have said that; her accent is funny.

Within a month I wasn’t alone. Jennifer, two years younger, and my parents, thirty-three years older, also received their first pairs of glasses.

I lost my glasses everywhere: in the pocket of that really cool shapeless sweater cardigan from L.L.Bean in ever-so-flattering-beige, in Camille’s car on the way home from the PG basketball game (the school, not the condition,) at the bottom of the Bingham’s couch. So when I was seventeen I got contacts and I never looked back (I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to see anything.) Jennifer still wears her glasses.

So yesterday morning, I walked in to release El Guille from his prison. I was wearing my walk-to-the-bed-safely-but-nowhere-else-glasses. He looked at me and said, “Jen?”

Oh, have I covered myself up so thoroughly that my son doesn’t even know what I really am? There it is. I embrace it. I can’t hide it anymore: I have curly hair and I wear glasses. I think tater-tots are fancy. I save all my magazines for future reference. There’s a cabinet in my kitchen that hasn’t been opened in so long I have no idea what’s in there. Apples with are my favorite snack (cheese, nutella, caramel, pears, yogurt.) I buy my chicken stock. Sometimes nothing hits the spot like fake mashed potatoes with gravy (ala Kentucky Fried.) I like egg mcmuffins and pre-formed hash brown patties. I nurse ‘til age two. I hate Hershey’s, Veggies Tales, and Living Scriptures. I listen to hip-hop. I habitually underestimate driving time. The only time I take ice in drinks is when I’m pregnant. I’d rather lift a thousand weights than run. I used to MUDd. I still own: my wedding dress, my prom dress (Jon,) homecoming ’92 floral (Eric,) and my senior graduation gown. Even though I know I can't tan, every couple years I give it a try. Deal.

12 comments:

Kiki said...

I know that Dorothy Parker said, "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses," but I don't care what they seldom did in Ms. Parker's day. GLASSES ARE SEXY! I got LASIK surgery a few years ago, and since then I've bought several fakies and I purposefully wear reading glasses because I think they're hott! And I must say that I get more attention when I'm wearing my glasses. I'm just sayin'...

I almost posted a bunch of things about me on here, but this is a great idea for a blog entry, so they are going over to my blog.

BowlerGirl said...

Yeah, there's something hot about a hot girl wearing hot glasses. And all I can say Carina...you are a hot mama in hot glasses!

righteous mama said...

carina, a totally random question--but was that YOU i saw at the oak hills 7th ward on sunday?

Azúcar said...

NO it was not!

However, you TOO can play "Spot Carina Out and About." Here is your hint: I will be at a grocery store in the area sometime this week. Jenny E. won three weeks ago, is it your turn this time?

lisa v. clark said...

Your hair is so AWESOME!

Bek said...

You have the kind of curly hair I dream about. Mine is just curly in places, enough to be frizzy and not smooth. Lauren inherited it..poor child.

I learned a few things about Carinal today....

Rachel said...

very cute picture. I even eat cold tater tots off leah's plate sometimes....and i think that deli mex has something with their chicken taquitos. isn't that a little sad? oh well. i love the good stuff, too. (and i love your hot pic...)

c jane said...

Is MUDding like MuD wrestling?

That's cool.

Something you and I have in common.

(besides glasses and red lipstick)

Rachel said...

oh, another thing i'm relishing in lately is nkotb greatest hits...why did i ever forsake the new kids? (just finished up a startling rendition of "please don't go girl...") ah yeah.

Kiki said...

In '99, I went with a mission companion and her family to pick her brother up from his mission in Austria. We were in the car listening to a radio station that played American pop music. A familiar song came on, but my friend and I couldn't place...we just knew that in a former life, we LOVED it. We even proclaimed, "OMG! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!" It ended up being NKOTB's "Tonight". We were outwardly ashamed, but inside we were all, "LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA TONIGHT!"

Rachel said...

ah yeah. i love "tonite" as well. i used to say "this is just like the beatles" and my music-sophisticate of a brother would gag. ah, the days of nkotb. (nikotbah)

more caffeine, please said...

Carina - so my babysitter flaked at the last moment, prohibiting me from enjoying what I hear is the best food one can make (and that would be you). And I was so bummed that I couldn't meet everyone. Sigh.... perhaps in the future. Until then, blog on! Jamie