jetsetgreen

Friday, December 08, 2006

My Mind Grapes

I have a case of the Bad Moods. As shocking as it might seem, it’s not at all the responsibility of the parasite that dwells within. In fact, the baby that keeps kicking my bladder is one of the best parts of being me right now.
“Cheer up! It’s the holiday season!” you might be saying. I know, but it’s also the season of being reminded that the food banks are out of food for needy people, that a wall of mud buried the Phillipines and that a million other horrible things are happening RIGHT NOW.

Come wallow, won’t you?

I still don’t like Christmas music. I thought I’d gotten over it last year, but I haven’t. I spent so many years working in retail at Christmas that the music still sends me to a dark and dreary place. I don’t care what decade or century the music comes from, every saccharine note makes my frown turn that much more upside down.

Everyday I get a piece of news that is worse, or more frustrating than the day before. Some of the things I’d normally do to cheer myself up, like a pedicure, a massage, or a new outfit/accessory are out. I didn’t get the raise I was promised so we are desperately trying to save for maternity leave. So as much as I’d like this or that, I’m going to have to put them off, you know, so that we can pay the mortgage. Oh—I am so cheerful!

My friend’s husband, aka Cornholio, has walked out on her and their little kids. Why? For no reason, really and truly. Well, there was something about him being tired of just "paying bills" and "driving kids around" and wanting to find himself, but that sounds like no reason to me, no reason at all--well, no reason for an ADULT anyway. I want to be angry at him and instead I am incredibly disappointed. What do you do with something like that? Watching someone use their agency to make the stupidest decision of their life and wounding the ones whom he should be holding most dear? Christmas joy!

I’d like to tell my iTunes shuffler that even though Cat Stevens is releasing a new album, giving interviews, and generally engaging in a marketing push, this is no excuse to randomize every other song to Peace Train. Jingle, jingle.

Norovirus- that’s what I self-diagnosed myself with when I had the stomach flu yesterday. I am NOT a hypochondriac, I swear, but sometimes the interweb can take all those symptoms and wrap them up in a package with a nice, neat name. A name like Norovirus. Don’t worry, I looked at all the possible viral gastroenteritis family members and settled on Norovirus as the culprit.
Since El Guille and his nana went through this on Monday, I considered the infection span and the ages of the participants. Likely source: the Meadow Wood Ward Christmsa Luau on Saturday night attended by nana and our own Typhoid Mary, El Guille.

Two days later, I was up every two hours exponentially removing my expensive Sundance Christmas party food from my body ($46.50 per person.) I had to go to the store first thing for provisions: ginger ale, broth, and for the good of all mankind, mouthwash. I’ve never really been dehydrated before. It’s a trip! Let me tell you! By sheer force of will, and also the desire to not become grocery store roadkill at Albertson’s, I made it to the exit instead of fainting at checkout. Deck the halls!

Come now, don't you have something you'd like to wallow about? Feel free to complain about family members too--just use the 'other' or 'anonymous' option when commenting. You can email me later that it was you who can't stand their new brother-in-law.

Update:
I went to the store tonight and saw Valentine's decorations out. VALENTINE'S. What is WRONG with people? Who for the love of Pete is actually buying Valentine's crap right now? If you are the one buying the Valentine's crap, you need to start taking those decorating dollars and donating them to your local homeless shelter, you complete wacko.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so tired I feel like I'm going to THROW UP!

BowlerGirl said...

I cannot wallow. I had the good fortune of being wacked on the head by the great Christmas Spirit. Please give me a call, I'm willing to divy it up amongst dear friends.

liz said...

I am in a funk today too, but I can't write about it with quite the style you have crafted.

This month is so overwhelming, it's okay to not be cheery every day.

Anonymous said...

I think you'll feel a whole lot better tomorrow. As a matter of fact you're feeling better already.

I was planning to wallow on my blog after some light reading.

Anonymous said...

i am so stressed i don't know whether to eat everything in sight or never eat again.

Anonymous said...

I was geeling pretty negative about being so negative lately, so I decided to try not to be so negative, but then I read your blog, and I realized it is so gratifying to be negative.

I want to say just one thing more and then I will be positive: your friend's husband is a jerk. She didn't deserve that, and neither did her kids. If I knew her, I would give her a big hug and buy her a gift cert for a massage. And if I knew you, I'd buy you an electric fondue set, just maybe.

compulsive writer said...

I'm sorry. I want to wallow about the fact that everyone in my family wants to live here in our house but no one wants to lift a finger. But I also love the fact that I can say that on your blog without offending my husband, who thinks he's a good helper.

I used to be an informed citizen and read the newspaper and watch the news, but now I'm afraid of being depressed--especially during the holidays--so I read the comics instead. I'm no longer current on the news, but I can tell you that Dilbert, while sometimes monotonous, paints a pretty accurate picture of life in a cubicle and Zits hits it right on the head about life with a teenage boy. Right on the head.

Here's my other reason I cannot completely wallow. Last night I was bemoaning the fact I was so desperate for Christmas music that I was listening to Delilah and not getting annoyed (actually I wondered if I shouldn't be taking my temperature over that fact) when a friend showed up at my door with her family "Christmas Card"--a CD of the most fun Christmas mix EVER! It's like I got what I wished for (well, you know, that one little thing) so now I am incapable of a full-tilt wallow, and can only muster a partial wallow over those things we have in common such as a shocking lack of fondue utensils and perhaps a CW moment or two.

Anonymous said...

I will wallow with you on the bladder subject. It's killing me. It's as if baby #2 has a set of his own fondu utensils in the womb with him and delights in ramming them on said organ every, oh, 10 minutes. I'm tired from getting up every hour during the night for his little fondu party. So wallow. Being pregnant is a blessing but it is no picnic. And I hope that el bastardo husband of your friends gets a fondu utensil shoved somewhere, too...

Anonymous said...

Stopped by my neighbors house to deliver her jewels (not the family style) when she sprung the news on me that she's 11 weeks pregnant. Nothing came out. My face went blank and all I could do was stare at her. It was a good 4 seconds of this when she finally said something that un-stuck me. I didn't know WHAT to say because I don't care to be pregnant and too honest to just say enthusiastically "congratulations!" I could wallow because of that but I like the holiday music. Just spent our last pennies on www.AllOfMP3.com scooping up as many as I could. Except James Taylors latest -- that album isn't jolly. It's creepy. I want to listen to James Taylor sing just as much as the next guy but NOT traditional Christmas songs. Sarah McGlocklan (we all know that's not the way it's spelled but is the way it sounds) has a new holiday disc that's loverly.

fijiangirl said...

read your post and just have to say I can't wallow too much... the hubby is wallowing enough for the entire family and I want to have some sort of christmas cheer for the children. In case you missed it on the news there was a coup in Fiji this week... my family living in Fiji was directly effected by it... our move has been postponed and we are trying to replan our lives.

On a happier note I took my son Christmas shopping the other day and he only asked for things he could buy and give to his friends he didn't ask for a single thing for himself! Does my 4 year old really understand the spirit of giving or was it an off day. I hope it is the first choice!

April said...

Years in retail has also left me with a Christmas music-shudder.

That's too bad about Cornholio. Of course nobody grows up thinking they want to spend their life paying bills and "driving kids around," but that's a part of life. If he was unhappy, he should have included his wife in the effort to make himself happy. You don't just walk out on people who love you. What an idiot.

~j. said...

I pray for your friend.

I currently like only certain songs of the Christmas variety; may I recommend "Donde Esta Santa Claus" as done by Guster?

Geo said...

I think a good kvetch and wallow session is sometimes really therapeutic--I do my share of venting.

That said, I hope you can soon pull out of your case of Bad Moods. This can be such an oppressive time of year, and it's easy to slip into cynicism and despair and bah humbug. I'm trying hard to disengage from the Christmas Beast and keep the season quiet and small and real. My mantra lately has been "Let your heart rejoice" and the more I explore what that actually entails, the more empowered and comforted I feel.

Cornholio has a very rude awakening coming to him one day. No ill wishes are required on that one; the man is begging for a life lesson, and he will get it. God bless his poor family.

I'm with you on the Valentine spending.

Feel better!

Anonymous said...

Oh good, I was looking for somewhere to vent anon. today.

My sis-in-law is in a terrible, abusive, awful relationship that is creating SO much "drama for yo mama" in our family. Ugh. We all thought she was planning on divorcing him and turning a new leaf, and after another night of drama we find out she really wants to stay and "work things out", oh, and her "husband" (you CAN'T seriously call him that), wants to put a 'hit' out on her other brother. Seriously? Do people really live like this? And why, oh, why are we stuck in the middle. I'm so over it, I want to call CPS on both of them and get it over with.

Thanks! I love some venting amongst friends! And like I told my hubby after he told me the latest. . .oh, yea, Merry "flippin'" Christmas!!!

Azúcar said...

Dear Anon 1- I know who you are and ME TOO. I guess that makes three of us.

BG - That's ok, I don't begrudge you your happy feelings, truly. I'm glad you are in the moment and happy.

Liz - Today I am out of my funk, how are you?

Luckyzmom- I did feel better today emotionally, physically, uhm, no. Psychosomatic? Maybe.

Anon 2- May I suggest a plate of brownies for breakfast and then nothing else for the rest of the day? Report back and tell me how it goes.

Emily- Sometimes you just need to wallow and then you can move on. I'm certainly not doom and gloom everyday--who could live like that?

CW- I am so glad you found some good music. Boy do I know how you're feeling about the house. I believe something like I can't be in charge of everything came falling out of my mouth yesterday. Then there was something about everything descending into chaos--it's more than a theory people! It's true! I blame the state of my living room on that stupid butterfly in China.

MCP - Oh you feel my physical pain, oh yes you do. Aren't you excited to have another boy and see how he's different from CJ?

Lucky- HA! You're the most awesome truthteller evah.

Fiji- I have seriously been wondering how the coup would affect your plans to move. It's off? I'm so sorry, I know you guys felt called to return.

April- You truly understand the dread of piped holiday music. And yea, it's stupid when adults act like they're 17. What is with people sometimes?

J5T- I know you do. I will check it out.

Geo- I have a good day and then a bad day, but it's not this time of year. I know you also have the pressures of family and work upon you and it means so much to hear your encouragement.

Anon 3- A HIT? Right. That's thinking ahead. It's so sad when women return to these guys time after time. You just want to shake the sense into them--and then you realize that if HE can't shake it, you can't either. So frustrating.

You say flippin'...I say frakkin'...

I'm off to make more bookmarks to hand out with copies of A Christmas Carol for the young ladies in my hood. Will they appreciate the handmade touches, like hand-stiched paper and deckling? No. But I'll know I did my best.

Bek said...

I heart Carina..... That is all.

Kiki said...

I also heart Carina.

Friday, I took the crappiest test EVER! It was a final. It was a huge, crazy, detailed test. It left me reeling more than the MCAT, I think, which means I REALLY bombed it. Oh well. I hope I at least came out of there with a C.

Anonymous said...

I am ALL out of Izze and it is the Sabbath. And all of the good shows are in reruns. And W is leaving for a week and Jooj has the rotovirus. But I made fudge, so things are looking up. I love you and your noro-froofi-itis and your friends are lucky to have you.

Anonymous said...

My husband has been working 2407 it seems like. And when he IS home, he's grumpy and tired...
But thankfully there is a lite at the end of the tunnel. :)

Anonymous said...

My husband has been working 2407 it seems like. And when he IS home, he's grumpy and tired...
But thankfully there is a lite at the end of the tunnel. :)

Queen Scarlett said...

My Babies are both sick again... Melia - twice in little more than 2 months. How sad - brand new and bam - germs attack. Kalea pooped so much yesterday... that TWICE it leaked all over herself so that girl got two showers yesterday. I had fun washing all that CRAP... (I said S&%*). I'm exhausted and for some reason my husband can't wean himself from his warcraft addiction. If there was a kind soul who could build a self-destructing virus into that online game - I would herald him/her a HERO...and ask them to give him/her a part on that NBC show (which I love). Everytime Starbuck says Frackin' ( or tries to act for that matter) I throw-up and gag.

Other than that... I am enjoying the MoTab DVDs of their Christmas performances - one with that Fleming Soprano and the one with Audra the Tony winner.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now. She has 4 kids from a previous marriage and 2 from their union. So sad, especially at Christmas and money is TIGHT. He is a stinge/porn addict and who knows what that led to, we thought he was so nice. Just shows that you can't tell people by their veneers.

Azúcar said...

Yen- I always panic that I'm filling my DVR with too much, and then I am thankful come a dead Sunday with reruns that I saved four Masterpiece Theaters for just such a night. Izzzzzzzeeeee.

Tori- I am SO glad you are married to hardworker. Although it stinks to never see him, at least you know he's doing it all for a good reason.

QS- You and me both on the Warcraft Widows - although I think I have come to terms with it, there are days when I think about cancelling the cable modem :)

Anon 4- He is despicable. That poor woman and her wounded children. What gets INTO people? Sometimes I wish we still had public stocks. Maybe we can install them in malls across the nation.

metamorphose said...

Oh my goodness, Azucar, I'm so sorry about the stomach flu! And even more sorry that I still haven't sent you that Regina mix I promised you. Don't give up on me, I will pull through! I'll have it out in the mail soon, so you won't have to wallow without Regina no more.

Also need to respond to your wonderfully wise email. My lack of internet capabilities is getting the best of me, I fear.

Queen Scarlett said...

Speaking of Izze (Thank you, ~J and Yen for turning me to that) have you tried that Italian Organic Blood Orange soda? We found them at Costco - their in cases of 6 large bottles. My husband loves them so much he has already purchased 5 boxes.

~j. said...

I'm gonna look for it. Thanks, queen.

b.otch said...

I was going to wallow on my blog about my friend who's been married 30 years.....30 frakkin' years, and her husband is leaving, no wait...he's not, well,yeah...he is. I hope she is DONE with that sh*t. But before I could wallow I caught Rotavirus from work and everything has been falling out my arse. Ho, ho, frickin' ho.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what the Regina mix is, but in my mind I pronounce it with a long "I" and it makes me snicker. So, I hope that you get it, and that it isn't the clap, like I am making it out to be in my snickery mind.

lisa v. clark said...

My cousin's husband left her and their two kids because he "wanted to start drinking?" What?! You leave your kids for a beverage?! There's a special kind of dumb for that. Hope your friend's ex has fun paying child support--yeah, the bills still need to be paid whether you're married or not. Oh, special kind of dumb.

I'm sorry you're not in not feeling the best. Find whatever can make you happy now (Izze, M.Theater) and do it. (Have you seen "He Knew He Was Right" or "Daniel Deronda"? are good picks)

KerriAnn said...

You should write a book... I already want to read it.

c jane said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
c jane said...

From personal experience I just want to say that a holiday divorce is sometimes the best present of all.

Rachel said...

I hate Christmas music too! God bless you....

owlhaven said...

Feel better soon!

Here from Ignore The Crazy

Mary, mom to many