Tuesday, January 30, 2007

mom vs. mom

I am trying to be ‘involved mom.’ This included trying to sign El Guille up for a tumbling class. However, since I am still actually ‘working mom,’ I missed the early signup and now the classes are all full. Still trying for ‘involved’ I took Guille to story time at the library today. I feel so out of place with all of the stay at home moms. It’s like I now walking among them, but are not of them.

Guille refused to go to his age appropriate story time and then absolutely refused to watch toddler story time. The storytellers did a great job. They were singing (all the moms knew the words,) had hand motions (all the moms did the right motion to the correct lyric.) It did feel vaguely like a rally of blackshirts, but that's neither here nor there. Also featured were puppets, general merriment, and a lot of enthralled children. The glaring exception was El Guille. He persisted in his speed bump impression, angry that I wouldn’t join him in his fire-safety thwarting ways. ‘Involved mom’ and ‘working mom’; worlds are colliding!

I decided it was enough and we went to checkout. Guille was already crying big tears because I wouldn’t hand over his books (it’s even worse if you give him the books and then take them away again to have them scanned.)

Let’s stop right here and recognize that I love librarians. I think they are in possession of an ethereal loveliness that belies their preternatural intelligence, and are morally beyond reproach. I’m not just saying that because half of my readers are librarians. The volunteer, I am convinced she was a volunteer and NOT an actual librarian, who was going to check us out coughed in our general direction and motioned us over. I looked in my wallet and my card wasn’t there. I asked if we could do ID today. “Yes,” she sniffed, “Just don’t make a HABIT of it.” She then coughed her TB nastiness at me and my collapsing child.

A habit. Yeah. Like three packs a day and a raging case of recurrent Clap—YEAH, a habit. You know, generally, when someone is as fugly as that volunteer, they have a fun or bubbly personality to offset the drab khaki-ness of their person. Not her. Sorry, I just have to tell it like it is.

I think Guille sensed my wits end so he wisely decided to silently contemplate the scenery on the way to the office. Sometimes ‘involved mom’ needs to chill out because she’s making life harder for all of us.

More nonsense rounded out my day, including a great conversation that made me resolve to never pick up the phone at home during the day, and a church function (enrichment) that started with me in tears in the parking lot and ended the same way. Don’t worry, it wasn’t as a result of anyone’s actions, it was that I shouldn’t have left the house after a certain point today. You know it's bad when you're trying to think of what you could eat that would make you feel better and you come up with jack squat.

Do you ever have those days when you realize that you are not fit for public consumption? I am sensing more days like that coming down the pike. In the meantime, I have a clean kitchen coming to me and it’s been strongly suggested I retire for the evening.


BowlerGirl said...

I have this problem with work wife and at home wife. Sometimes the work wife rears her ugly head at home and I start the bossing-around-of-the-hubby-like-he's-a-one-of-my-work-minions. This is not so good.

I think that you are fabulous. Just because you are not like the other moms there does not mean that you should not be there. And librarians? You said it all, they too ahve a special place in my heart.

more caffeine, please said...

Okay, so you're not alone. Now a stay-at-home-work-from-home mom, I had to get creative up here not knowing anyone and CJ going crazy missing his babysitter and her kids in Utah. We've tried storytime at the library. Several times. Too slow paced for him. Now I go online and have my books placed on hold and when we go I just get them off the hold shelf and he goes right to the kids section and does his thing while I watch him and start my new books. That way he's not waiting for me. And I still don't know any of the moms from the library - you know, the ones who know all the words to the songs in storytime...

La Yen said...

Here is what I do--I go to the ChickFiLA because it has a play land that is behind closed doors and plexiglass. I cannot hear my child, and she barely notices I am gone. Then I eat chicken and ice-milk sundaes until she is tired and I go home and put her into bed and watch Dallas on the DVR.
I NEVER take her to the library if I can help it. The library is a special place for Mommies.
You can copy me, if you want.

Azúcar said...

Maybe I will, but not to the ChickFiLa--'cause ours is at the Mall and that's worse than any library.
One of my current nightmares is open spaces where Guille could run forever and I could not, in all my waddling, catch him.

Queen Scarlett said...

This is so funny. Do you guys have Funtastic Playcenters? I purchased a pass when I was heavy with child...and I'd go sit or stand...and Kalea could play and jump...and climb and I wouldn't worry a bit. Mostly she danced to the music...

Queen Scarlett said...

whoops - forgot to mention - I love this line:
"You know, generally, when someone is as fugly as that volunteer, they have a fun or bubbly personality to offset the drab khaki-ness of their person."

Azúcar said...

We do NOT have Funtastic Play Centers. I went to their website to check them out. I didn't understand why there weren't any here--it seems like a natural fit.

So then my mind started turning, what about a franchise or a similar idea? However, as soon as I started reading it looks like someone else bought the rights already and they'll be opening in Sept. 07. Another million lost...

~j. said...

Why didn't you just go to the circus?

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