Thursday, January 25, 2007

Only The Good Stuff

This post is dedicated to TOWR, Kiki, and anyone else freaked out by pregnancy. Sometimes I think I dwell on the negatives, or the peculiarities of my journey, rather than discussing the great things that go along with gestation. So tonight we're going to cover some of the things I like best about the whole she-bang.

Last week Guille and I went to the aptly named Vosen’s Bread Paradise in downtown SLC. We picked out our delicious baked goods (try the Bauernbrot) and were about to pay when the clerk asked if she could give Guille something. Sure thing! She selected a golden croissant. We finished paying when she handed me a ginourmous pain-au-chocolat and said, “And something for the baby.” I ate the whole thing with no guilt, and I’d do it again.

I didn’t have to be in charge of anything for the family holiday celebrations. I got to show up and relax.

Being with child is the best excuse ever. No one ever makes you feel guilty about not doing Activity “X.” You can say you’re tired, and while that may elicit resentment at any other point in your life, during gestation it is gospel.

Sometimes I ask J to hand me some trinket or object. He likes to toss them in my direction to watch me reach and fumble. Ok, so this isn’t so much about how nice it is for me, but how entertaining it is for my spouse to see my reflexes slowed to the speed of a sloth. Add that change to the Relaxin, the hormone that loosens your joints, and you can’t catch jack squat, let alone a package of Kleenex tossed from across the room. He laughs like the 7th grader we all know is inside every man. I am a different kind of entertaining in this state.

I like that I am incapable of NOT telling you, your neighbor, your dog walker exactly what I think. For some reason, the truth gates open and I will tell you anything. Social niceties and deflections are in storage, check back in spring. For now, the vault is open for business!

You know the anxiety you feel when you forget an appointment or some kind of obligation? When you’re pregnant you honestly don’t care. “Oh well!” You might think it’s annoying that you can’t remember a word or phrase that would have easily been recalled at any former point. It’s a touch annoying, but it’s also funny that you seriously couldn’t care less. If I were in law school this would be a problem. Since I’m not, laissez les bons temps rouler! Let’s celebrate! I hope I remember to show up!

I am sitting on the couch writing this and feeling the baby move slowly. I like this stage because you can feel shape of the child through the dermis. I am going to pause writing this sentence for a minute and feel a little head, or maybe a bum. One of the secrets people don’t talk about is how your belly doesn’t stay perfectly round, it starts to move and shift with the motion of the child. In one moment your belly skews right, in another your left side moves. Tremors and wobbling; it’s comforting to know that the little person is moving around and growing. If you eat a little sugar, or something else interesting, you definitely get a reaction. It sounds freaky, but when it’s you, it’s really cool.

No pretending to suck in your tummy anymore.
For all the weird things your body goes though, the transformations are also miraculous. Your hair and nails grow at close to lightening speed. You can’t actually push yourself too far because your body will just stop (it’s a forceful reminder to take things easier.) You can take a nap at any time: go ahead, lay down, you’ll sleep. You don’t even have to think about growing the person because your body takes care of all the hard work. You just have to remember to feed and water it properly.

Now do you feel better? Then go get yourselves knocked up!


Kiki said...

You mean I'll get free ginormous pain-au-chocolat?! WHERE DO I SIGN UP?! Who is my babydaddy?

compulsive writer said...

Two things I miss--feeling the baby moving and that wonderful burst of energy I would get toward the end of the second semester.

BTW--those gates swing wide open again as you get older, too. Trust me.

I never got any free pain au chocolat, but it's not worth getting knocked up again.

La Yen said...

Eh. I will buy my pain AND my babies, thank you very much.

But I will always love the ones you grow, (even if it is kind of like a tumor that you have removed and then take home, instead of putting it in a jar for the 7th grade science class show and tell.)

PS expect a package for Skeletor and Gilly

metamorphose said...

*reads post dreamily*

I admit, I yearn for little baby burritos myself. Le sigh.

fijiangirl said...

I must admit I loved being pregnant! Of course I would eargely send the evection notice when time was up and needed my space back. I am going to miss that feeling.

Lyle said...

Thank you for reminding us of some the [guilty] pleasures or enjoyments from being pregnant. Even though I am only a fatherand have not experienced what you have listed, I do like to feel the movement of the baby [from the outside]. My wife would appreciate this post.

April said...

"Now go get yourselves knocked up!"

I can't say I'll run right out and get impregnated, but at least it's a little less scary. A little. *gulp*

Haley said...

I love all the pregnancy excuses to get out of lifting a finger somedays.. "honey, could you put my socks on, trim my nails, shave my legs, help me with my back brace, feed and bathe the kids..."
p.s. jaimerly james had baby boy #2 YAY!!! He has big feet.

This is me said...

I loved when kind gentlemen offered their seats on Trax or while waiting in crowded restaurants for a table. Nice to know chivalry isn't long gone. And, surprisingly, I got a lot of the seat-offers from teenage boys and the like, not just elderly WWII veterans. So refreshing!

Sarah said...

Great post! I'm at the stage in my pregnancy where almost every time my husband sees me waddle past he lets out an evil giggle. And the other day I had the new experience of almost being pulled over onto the floor by the weight of my belly while standing up. He LOVED that.

My favorite thing about being pregnant is that I have an excuse not the leave the house for the next two months until the baby gets here. It's also the reason that I'm not going maternity shopping for clothes that fit - I can't leave the house if I don't have clothes now can I?

sue-donym said...

I loved being pregnant. I never felt better. I miss that feeling a lot. (Maybe I will become a surragate mother)

And yes, the gate swings wide open again as you get older. Don't get me started.

metamorphose said...

Can't wait to see pics of little Proximo...and how much he looks like his handsome brother!

Queen Scarlett said...

What a lovely post. I was one that always thought I was too fat...even though I look back at pictures I was thin then. Once I got pregnant...all those body issues left. It was like... I suddenly felt comfortable in my own skin...thanks to the special souls that shared my body. That's gift my girls have given me.

Plus - getting knocked up is fun to do. So I echo Azucar... go get knocked up... ;-)

the veggie paparazzo said...

Loved this post. We aren't sure whether I'll be able to have kids, and my husband asked me the other day whether I want to just adopt (I've always wanted to adopt) or try to have a biological child as well. I told him if I don't try to have a biological child, I think I'll regret not having the experience of the pregnancy. (Yet I would probably be the person who is miserable throughout the pregnancy!)

AzĂșcar said...

VP- welcome. I always thought I'd be miserable through the entire pregnancy and I'm not. I'm also not vouching for the experience of those who surround me. Go for it! It took us years to get pregnant with our first and it made the experience that much sweeter.