Monday, January 22, 2007

Yogurt: Salve of Life and Healer of All Wrongs

The scary thing about being able to cook is that you could cook for yourself whatever you want whenever you want it. Tonight, however, I did NOT make a hazelnut chocolate mousse and satisfied the internal imp with a chocolate yogurt (one billion fewer calories and no work.)

The yogurt gave me some sweet time to heal from two obnoxious interactions we experienced over the weekend.

I had a baby shower next door on Saturday. Every place I called was out of the book I wanted to give as a gift, except B&N (yes, I called an independent too and they told me the book was out of print, which isn’t true.) I paid for the book and asked if I could wrap it.

Now, I have spent years wrapping books, and let me tell you, they are not hard to wrap. It’s not that I’m super-extra picky, I just think that a gift should look nice. I asked the cashier if I could just wrap it myself when a bossy-bossy lady walked by and said, “Actually, no. We have to have an employee do it, store policy!” I have been a snotty B&N employee, and I am so not going to take that.
“Oh really,” I said, “That didn’t used to be the policy.”
"Yes it has.”
“Huh, it wasn’t that way when I worked here.”
“Oh it’s been that way for at least five years. Who was your manager when you worked here?”
I answered “Wade.”
“Oh yeah, that was a long time ago.”
Me, increasingly annoyed, “Yes.”

In the meantime, bossy-bossy had called up an employee to do the wrapping. I was watching the girl wrap my book and it just looked terrible. She wasn’t folding the edges over, the tape was haphazard and excessive; it was just not being done well. Bossy-bossy finished her conversation with me and left to turn keys someplace else. The wrapping chick struggled with the ends of paper, “Haha! I am just not that good at wrapping!” she said flippantly.

I just wanted to hit her. I wanted to wrap the book because I AM GOOD at wrapping and I am FAST. It’s a damn rectangle. Wrapping a book is not hard and requires absolutely no advanced degree of any kind. Did you not just hear the conversation where your manager WON’T let me wrap the book and instead calls you up and you show/tell me you’re a terrible wrapper?

Today we braved college bureaucracy. I had to turn in a short term loan note for J. The letter we were sent said to go to a specific place in Building A to turn in the documentation.
When I got there, Guille in tow, I thought I’d just confirm with the senior citz at the window that this was the right place. I noticed a tuition drop box to my left. She said that no, in fact, I had to walk across campus to Building B’s One Stop to drop off the note. I asked if she were SURE I couldn’t just drop the note here. Absolutely not.

I mentioned that if we weren’t supposed to bring the documents to this room, they should update the letters that people are sent, you know, so they don’t go to the place where they’ve been instructed to go. The senior citz then said something else that I’ve since repressed.

So Guille and I walked over to Building B, up more stairs, to the One Stop where we were instructed to leave the note in a tuition drop box--precisely the same box that was at Building A. Sometimes I give cjane a hard time about her position on senior citz, other times, I think she is onto something.

Maybe just reliving these events calls for another yogurt.


Kiki said...

Re: B&N's stupid policy. WRAPPING. LESSONS. They should be part of the training. When one goes to a store to purchase a gift which they wish to have wrapped at the store, the employees should produce a superiorly wrapped item. Any monkey can rip some paper off a roll and slap it on something with tape.

Re: seniors. As Jeannie Darcy used to say, "Don't get me started. Don't EVEN get me started."

BowlerGirl said...

El Hubby thinks that senior citiznes are the ABSOLUTE worst. If he had his way all of human kind would be put down at the age of 63. I have my own version of things. But I think they might be a little offensive.

1st time- - dbapdmpi
2nd try- - - zglicb

Lyle said...

If B&N were a grocery store they probably wouldn't let you bag your own groceries either.

mander said...

That's one of my biggest pet peeves -- if someone is being PAID to do a job, they should at least be competent enough to perform said job well. Sheesh.

I have a baby shower to attend this week, too, and am having a hard time coming up with a gift that isn't an outfit that will only fit for 2 months... This is baby #2 for my friend (but her first boy) so the general baby needs are already taken care of. What book did you buy?

metamorphose said...

Call me sexist, but being a member of the female race, how does this girl not know how to wrap a freaking book?


nie nie said...

on Christmas Eve, a seinor cit hit me in her car in the parking lot...i am so totally serious.

just saying...

sue-donym said...

I am so with you on the wrapping. Having grown up and managed a bookstore for more than 2/3's of my life, I loathe having to deal with incompetent bookstore employees. "A policy against the customer wrapping!? What are they afraid of, you will storm the checkout counter and tape everyone together and steal all the paper?

Can we still like my husband even though he is pushing senior citz age? He can be pretty hip ya know. (And he won't hit anyone in the parking lot, I promise!

compulsive writer said...

I have a confession.

I can't giftwrap.

I was, excuse the pun, gifted at it for about 18 months or so while I worked in giftwrapping at the BYU Bookstore.

But as soon as I moved into another department I lost my touch.

Getting the runaround is never fun. But it is even more exasperating when you are toting a toddler on the outside and a baby on the inside.

(Don't you hate it when your word verification is so long that by the time you've typed all the letters they've moved on to a new one? This is my third one already! Even better--now I'm on number five, and the last two have just been that crazy little icon with the question mark inside. I'm doing my best to guess, but it's kind of hard without seeing the actual letters. This is my eighth try. I know I should give up, but now it's personal Going on nine...And now we're back to imaginary visual verification. This is better than playing solitaire.)

compulsive writer said...

It only took me 17 tries.

Wimpy Blogger.

(Now I'm going for best two out of three.)

b. said...

so....what book did you buy?

AzĂșcar said...

One of the most useful presents I ever got.

~j. said...

Before you ever have to turn in forms at the campus, call my husband, and he will help you NOT have to deal with people up there. En serio.

April said...

I'm annoyed for you. Do they think you'll give yourself a paper cut and try to sue them? Ridiculous.

It's awfully tiring being less stupid than the majority of people, isn't it?

Tori :) said...

I'm annoyed reading this! Ugh. I need a yogurt.

Haley said...

Yogurt is one of the staples of life at my house. It is one of the 4 things my two boys will eat. My two boys also do most of my giftwrapping for me.

Emily said...

I worked at the BYU bookstore and one time in December had nothing to do, so I went upstairs to help at gift-wrapping. I was really horrendous at it, and the lady probably came home and told all her friends how frustrated she was that she couldn't do it herself. (She never asked. I would have let her.)

wendysue said...

How did you hold it together and not just rip up the whole thing and throw the paper back at her?

AzĂșcar said...

'Cause my 30 minute parking was almost up.