Bernie worked as a server with me years ago. She was the leggiest brunette I'd ever seen, with green doe-eyes and a fast tongue. She was married to the manager of a different restaurant. He was just as tall as Bernie, but pock-marked and greasy; Ichabod in a uniform. They had a 15 month old son about whom I remember nothing identifiable.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
One night after a shift I remember Bernie standing casually on her enviable legs with the child balanced on her off-center hip. She was telling me how this was her first and last baby. Bernie could not imagine how she could possibly love another child as much as junior, so she and her husband had decided this baby would be the only one.
It's easy to listen to people that beautiful--how could they be wrong about anything?
El Guille has been the center of everything for his entire life. The only child, the only nephew, the only grandchild on both sides. His world is about to turn upside down and he doesn't know it. I think he senses it, however. Lately his favorite game is a running head-butt into my belly. Does sibling rivalry start this early?
Never a snuggly child, he seeks what remains of my lap at all times, climbing me, constantly trying to get closer. Sometimes he'll throw in a wrestling elbow into the belly, annoyed at the space it takes.
Today he slung his arm around my neck to take these pictures, trying to press his body and face nearer to me, holding on as tightly as possible. I almost feel guilty. Practical me says, forget it! We all need to know where we fit and it's not always at the center! Then why the guilt?
Maybe someday he'll know that the center doesn't have to mean alone, that you can share the spotlight.
In the meantime, it will just be the two of us tonight, hiding under the Thomas blanket, reading rhymes and singing our songs.
Posted by Carina at 3/07/2007 04:23:00 PM