Saturday, April 14, 2007

Alone Time

For the first time in ten months I went some place entirely alone last night.

There was no one living inside me, no one in the back seat, no one riding shot gun. It was just me and my iPod. I felt so happy to be alone.

Other Half helped cultivate a love of Alone Time in me. At first I didn't understand why he was so insistent on establishing that kind of time. Now, more than ten years later, I know that he knew me better than I knew myself. I crave Alone Time. It is one of the hardest things for me to give up. I’ve even resorted to extra long stays in the bathroom just to get some time where I don’t have to be around anyone. This is not a season for plentiful Me Time.

What did I do last night?

Do you really want to know?

It was so exciting.

First, I drove to the Creamery on 9th. Then, I braved past the crowds of college students at the grill, ordering their ice cream and flirting (awkwardly.) Next, I took my cart to the back of the store and picked up...MILK (also, bananas.) Realizing that their meager grocery selection did not include Raisin Nut Bran (post-partum snack of choice) I made a spur of the moment decision to also go to Day’s Market (I am so spontaneous.) All the while I was jammin’ to a song* on the SO Awesome mix sent to me by the Underground Library.

I then drove the 9th East slingshot and made it to Day’s to fill the holes on my grocery list.

Heady, heady stuff my friends.

It’s ok to be jealous; it’s not every day that you make it to two grocery stores in a row. Don't hate my life.

I made it back in the nick of time—Proximo had just fired his first verbal shot over the bow and that meant time for business. It also meant Alone Time was finished.

I don’t resent the loss of the time, but it is something that you have to adjust for when a new baby arrives and sends you back to intense parenting. I remember going out by myself to Borders once a week starting when El Guille was about four months old. It was the most incredible respite. Still, they are only babies for such a short time. When you know you can leave them for a few hours it also means they are growing up. You can't recapture that spent time. So that's why I'm trying to Enjoy It and sneak a few moments of Me Time when I can.

What do you do for Alone Time?
Do you even get any time you can call your own?
Does it matter to you?

*For some reason it won't let me link this URL in a phrase so we'll have to just be awkward in our own way and post the entire thing. Go here and tell me if you'd listen to the song in your Me Time.


Lucky Red Hen said...

YAY for Me Time! I'm glad to hear about the flirtations, awkward as they may be ;o) I have something for you but it's nothing near what you'd want or expect so don't get excited but I wanted to tell you anyway.

Lucky Red Hen said...

P.S. Thank you for changing the background color so I could come back and read without getting Vertigo.

No, really.

b. said...

It's pretty good.

Queen Scarlett said...

I'll be honest...I was too scared to say anything about the green background... so I echo LRH's comment. However, unlike LRH...I still came to read... can't help your blog.

Alone time... shopping... grocery - I totally get the 2 stores... it's like WOW look what I did. I love just driving... fast... or on a windy road with the wind and the music... that's peaceful.

Now...where did you get those shoes. I just bought a bunch and I'm in love with these Bernardo ballet flats... I should take some pictures.

compulsive writer said...

I get the need for Me Time.

Last Thursday everyone was out of town and I had great intentions to clean the whole house. Instead I curled up with Jasper Fforde and escaped the night away.

It was divine!

Emmie said...

Though I don't yet have chilluns, alone time is an absolute necessity. Favorite places to go solo:

Local coffee shop (with a good book)
Long walks

Oh, and by the by, I have a little prezzie for you and your new addition, but I don't have your address (even though I know where you live). Might you email it to me?

Sarah said...

I am VERY impressed that you snatched some alone time mere days after giving birth. You can't enjoy your babies growing up if you are going nuts and you're smart enough to make 'you' a priority. Plus, this post validates my love of alone time and helps me remember that it's not just selfishness on my part.

For my alone time I go to Jamba Juice for the Berry Fullfilling with Fiber Boost then off to the library to the hallowed ADULT section to wander around and look all intellecutual and stuff. Sometimes I even check out a book.

Lindsey said...

Good for you! I don't think it matters if you drive somewhere and sleep in the car to get a few minutes alone.

Shortly after I gave birth to #2, I remember telling a friend that having them both asleep at the same time was like winning a million dollars and not knowing what to spend it on. The same goes for when I leave them behind for a few minutes with my husband.

I go to a local gym a few times a week. I am not by any means losing any weight, which is what my reasoning was when I haggled for the gym membership. But I like that I can go there and be totally alone (as alone as you can get in a gym) with my iPod and work out the aggression of the day.

Here's to more Me Time for you and all the other moms out there!

Kiki said...

I have almost nothing BUT alone time because I'm very much a loner. (Ask two of my lab teachers.) But alone time when I'm DOING something that's not watching TV or searching the internets...Target, Starbucks, bookstore, driving.

I'm glad you got some alone time. It is a necessity for sanity.

I'm probably going to be having some alone time on my way out to Utah soon.

metamorphose said...

I tried to download the link to listen to the song -(if it came on the "This CD's So Awesome" mix, then I probably already have it) -maybe it's a file I can't open on a Mac, I don't know.

Anyway, congratulations on your Me Time. I have a lot of time to myself, and it's quite lovely.

Kiki said...

Yeah, you need the updated Windows Media (I think) to be able to play those files on your mac. I can't play it either.

fijiangirl said...

Wow! Old skirts fitting, new shoes AND me time. Did you win the lottery? I don't even get alone time in the bathroom! As hard as I try to lock them out I usually have an audience. I keep tellilng myself someday they will out grow the desire to be with me every second. Then it will be a super sad day for me.

P.S. I am glad you changed your background color as well. I admit I was getting migraines from it. I love your blog so much I was putting on sunglasses to read it.

Azúcar said...

Yes, it's track 9 on So Awesome Mix.

Rachel said...

All I HAVE is alone time...

I don't always love it.

Cassie said...

What songs are on the So Awesome Mix? I'm always looking for good music to listen to in my alone time. Loved that song. Love your blog too.

sue-donym said...

two words...

Hot Bath

Every Night

(Does that count as four?)

April said...

Not only would I listen to "Ugly Girl" in my free time, I DID listen to it on my drive up to Kristen. Although there's no correlation between the song title and my visit with her. :)

Azúcar said...

Ok, here is my Underground Library Shout-Out. The mix is her genius, not mine.

Kristen's This CD is SO Awesome Mix
Final Librarian's Revenge CD Tracklist

This Book is So Awesome
Harry and The Potters

White Daisy Passing
Rocky Votolato

Laura Veirs

Wicked Little Town
Tommy Gnosis

Where to Begin
My Morning Jacket

Sing Theresa Says
Greg Laswell

Imaginary Girl
The Bees

Love Me Like You
Magic Numbers

Ugly Girl
Fleming & John

Learn to Live With What You Are
Ben Folds

Brass in Pocket
The Pretenders

Too Young

Gone Daddy Gone
Violent Femmes

My Doorbell
The White Stripes

Bohemian Like You
The Dandy Warhols

Float On
Modest Mouse

For Real
Okkervil River

Broken Boy Soldier
The Raconteurs

Men At Work

California One
The Decemberists

Today I can't get enough of Phoenix's Too Young.

pflower10 said...

I don't really remember what alone time feels like. I used to take a shower to be alone but that hasn't worked for the past 22 yrs.

word verif: taxdqus

Clyde said...

White background = peaceful reading. Thanks for the fresh, clean blog's new presentation.
Your Me Time activities sounds more interesting and entertaining than most people everyday routine. :)

Thanks for the suggestions!

A mother of four kiddos under 7

metamorphose said...

I thought that version of "Wicked Little Town" was the Tommy Gnosis version, but as a cover by The Bens -with Ben Kweller on vocal, I think. Thanks for posting the others -I didn't know the whole tracklist.

It IS a fantastic mix.

Azúcar said...

You're probably right, Meta. We stand corrected. I wasn't sure which version it was (since I left my Underground Library tracklist someplace...)

Chelle said...

Man, I don't know any of the songs on your mix. I'm always up for new music-- must check it out. Thank you also for the shoe inspiration. I am so very boring with my shoe choice-- time to change!
And, your baby is beautiful.. congrats!

more caffeine, please said...

The other night I had an hour of me time where I spent it at a fabric store. Me and two old ladies wandering around. Bliss.

Chanel said...

alone time? As in by myself? No one yelling one of my blessed names- " mom, mama,mooooooooooooooooooooooooom, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, hun, chanel, luva, mamamammamamammama"
I think, no, no.

Oh wait I guess this HAS to count, hubs takes the kids to boy scouts so I can workout once a week. WOO freakin HOO!

I loves me some grocery shopping, but will have to check out the ADULT section at the bookstore- great idea Hollywood!

Emily said...

Alone time? Alooooone Time? ah, yes, alone, the time I get to spend alone...without my barnacle. It's a concept I've almost forgotten, but when I do get it I like to rummage through the thrift store for treasures. Or curl up with a good blog and read, or write about my not-alone time on my blog.

Justine said...

5:30 a.m. every morning. run, baby, run. iPod on, darkness all around, running down Timpview drive. Maybe if the Creamery was open that early I'd stop in.

Ahh, sweet alone-ness.

Elizabeth said...

Alone time is amazing...especially after becoming a mother. You never realize how demanding it is until you do it and realize that all your own time is out the window. Glad you got out. (And I'm glad that someone else goes to the grocery store when they actually have a minute to be by themselves...Sometimes I find myself thinking that I need to go out and actually plan something so I don't go and do yet another thing for the house...oh well).

Bek said...

I have a date w/ myself every Tuesday from 12:30 to 4:30...and I go to a new place each time and eat lunch and read..... it is heaven and worth every single babysitting dollar.....