jetsetgreen

Friday, April 06, 2007

I Choose Wrong

Timing is critical with a new baby.

We’re on the every two hours schedule right now, sometimes less than that. Occasionally, like last night, it’s more; I got three whole hours of sleep in a row!

When you put the baby down after the last feeding the great guessing game begins. How long do you have? Long enough to do a load of laundry? To pee? Read to your preschooler? Catch up on blogs? If you just knew you had two full hours you could try to sleep. Nothing is worse than being so exhausted, dying for a whole hour of sleep, and just being too tired to even try. The thinking goes: it’s harder to wake up than to have ever gone to sleep for a pitiful amount anyway. If you THINK you have two hours, and you settle yourself down, the awakening fifteen minutes later is just brutal.

It's probably bad when you start referring to your husband by how much sleep he got, "Hey! Mr. Seven Hours! Go play with El Guille."

Tonight I had about 45 minutes until next time the gaping jaws declared their intention and made it manifest. First, I fixed the bouncer chair. Hooray for duct tape and jimmy-rigged battery cases! Next, I put through some laundry (although who is going to fold it and put it away is a matter of some debate [silent] if you consider the Mt. Everest of clean clothes in my bedroom.) Then I read and responded to emails, caught up on a few blogs, commented on some others—WAIT JUST A MINUTE. It’s 12:40am.

This was a long stretch! NO! I have wasted almost three hours that I could have spent sleeping. I played roulette and lost! Yes, I got some Me Time. Me Time at the expense of my brain; I am a zombie.

Maybe tomorrow we’ll talk about crying (me, not baby) and how to have a conversation with your spouse that goes like this:

Logically I am fine, but emotionally I am a wreck and there isn’t anything I can do about it right now and I want you to understand that it’s not about the baby, well it is about the baby, but more than that it’s about the hormonal crash I’m enduring but this is no reflection on you and there’s not much you can do other than all the housework so don’t worry if I am a crying disaster because this is not your fault, well it kind of is, but it isn’t, so if it’s ok, sometimes I’m going to be a puddle. Sorry. Also, we're out of milk.”

16 comments:

compulsive writer said...

Was a puddle with #1,

By #2 I decided the only way for me to be less of a puddle was to forgo the dishes and the laundry for a nap. Even if it was to be a short one.

Hard choices, (Would be easier if they--if anyone would do all the houswork.) I know.

Good luck. Hang in there. It may seem so cliché when you're in the middle of deep sleep deprivation, but hopefully the well wishes are not for naught.

Bek said...

CW got me through the worst of my sleep/no sleep stuff. I remember it well...

And I agree, there is nothing worse thatn going to sleep, thinking you will get a nice long stretch and the WAAAAAH... it makes me bitter....

Lyle said...

Mothers amaze me. Night after night of that type of routine is hard.

It seems that my wife gets to get up with them every night for the first year [or less...it's a randomly small number] and I get to get up with the kids for the next several years [on an irregular basis]. May you become reaquainted with sleep in the very near future.

Tori :) said...

I had that same conversation with my hubby...

Queen Scarlett said...

The fact that you had the ability to capture all this right now...in English...is a feat in and of itself. Bek helped me through my ... if I don't get any sleep and help with the housework someone is going to die... and it might as well be my dear hubby. ;-)

Don't men know that just doing chores is foreplay? ... that will be repaid when the kids are grown? ;-)

wmy said...

I think as long as your not drooling all over yourself, you are doing ok! lol

My youngest is now 7...and I do not miss those sleepless nights one bit...although, that fresh baby smell, and the cuddling were pretty great.

lisa v. clark said...

Oh I am an emotional wreck, as you know, when I have a baby, so I'm feeling for you. I hope that, if nothing else, you will lay down with your bebes and relax. It may not be REM sleep, but it will rest your tired eyes and muscles. Please don't clean and do laundry!!!

more caffeine, please said...

I'm sorry but I'm laughing right now, because you've re-invited me to my own private hell.

AND our bouncy seat is rigged with packaging tape, not as sturdy as duct tape so we re-tape it every night. It is still the only thing he'll sleep in...

My advice is don't try to sleep, as soon as you do he'll wake up.

Rachel said...

Just remember that it's only going to get better from here!

Email me your address and I'll send you some kick @$$ cookies!

wendysue said...

Ugh. Those nights (and days) are always the worst. I can vividly still remember being up nursing (it seems like it was nonstop!) and just bawling. I felt like I had no idea where the "ME" had gone. I think sometimes just getting a shower or sitting outside on the front step getting some fresh air helped me, (as well as the baby finally being like 8 weeks old.

I say don't try to accomplish anything when he's asleep. The only thing you should do is get in a few pages of People or US weekly. And if your eyes close for just a few minutes. . .GOOD!

wendysue said...
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pflower10 said...

OHHHHHHHH I want to know who programmed the female body. They didn't do a great job in my opinion.

If you need ANY HELP at all ...call.

I can do dishes, fold laundry, take it to the laundramat Whatever you need....I know how to read to preschoolers....ANYTHING.....Just Call!!!

I will e-mail you my phone #

luckyzmom said...

This too shall pass!

fijiangirl said...

I remember those days...you are not alone and tell the hubby that maybe he needs to go back to "husband school" for a refresher course on what to do when baby comes! #1 rule for you is no housework. (I know it is hard to let that go but I've learned that life goes on even if the house is dirty). My mom always said when baby sleeps, you sleep!... sometimes I wish I listened to her advise more!

April said...

Mr. Seven Hours! ha!

Forget the housework. You've done enough work already, what with the growing a baby for 9 months, then pushing it through you-know-where.

KIm said...

Thank you for bringing such nice posts. Your blog is always fascinating to read.