Timing is critical with a new baby.
We’re on the every two hours schedule right now, sometimes less than that. Occasionally, like last night, it’s more; I got three whole hours of sleep in a row!
When you put the baby down after the last feeding the great guessing game begins. How long do you have? Long enough to do a load of laundry? To pee? Read to your preschooler? Catch up on blogs? If you just knew you had two full hours you could try to sleep. Nothing is worse than being so exhausted, dying for a whole hour of sleep, and just being too tired to even try. The thinking goes: it’s harder to wake up than to have ever gone to sleep for a pitiful amount anyway. If you THINK you have two hours, and you settle yourself down, the awakening fifteen minutes later is just brutal.
It's probably bad when you start referring to your husband by how much sleep he got, "Hey! Mr. Seven Hours! Go play with El Guille."
Tonight I had about 45 minutes until next time the gaping jaws declared their intention and made it manifest. First, I fixed the bouncer chair. Hooray for duct tape and jimmy-rigged battery cases! Next, I put through some laundry (although who is going to fold it and put it away is a matter of some debate [silent] if you consider the Mt. Everest of clean clothes in my bedroom.) Then I read and responded to emails, caught up on a few blogs, commented on some others—WAIT JUST A MINUTE. It’s 12:40am.
This was a long stretch! NO! I have wasted almost three hours that I could have spent sleeping. I played roulette and lost! Yes, I got some Me Time. Me Time at the expense of my brain; I am a zombie.
Maybe tomorrow we’ll talk about crying (me, not baby) and how to have a conversation with your spouse that goes like this:
“Logically I am fine, but emotionally I am a wreck and there isn’t anything I can do about it right now and I want you to understand that it’s not about the baby, well it is about the baby, but more than that it’s about the hormonal crash I’m enduring but this is no reflection on you and there’s not much you can do other than all the housework so don’t worry if I am a crying disaster because this is not your fault, well it kind of is, but it isn’t, so if it’s ok, sometimes I’m going to be a puddle. Sorry. Also, we're out of milk.”