Thursday, April 26, 2007

You Learn

I used to sing along to Alanis Morissette’s You Learn so blithely.

“Wear it out

the way

a three-year-old

would do

melt it down

you’ll have to

eventually anyway.”

Little did I know,

Alanis is no liar!

Today we found out:

1. Spray & Wash can be used as a paint remover. Just spray down the bathroom including the painted wooden door and wait. Removes stains from jackets and paint from doors!

2. Febreez isn't just for fabrics anymore! We recommend kitchen walls, floors, and appliances.

3. Pantry shelves are ok for rock climbing practice. Don't forget the cookies on your way down!

4. In fact, that bag of ginger snaps, yes, that one from the pantry, once you've removed all the cookies, dump the orange dust all over the living room carpet.

5. If any of you librarians are looking for a new way to organize your books may we suggest...

You might have to reconfigure your floor plan.

Don't forget to pose for a picture once you're done with your rearranging.

6. Go ahead, climb on mom, twist her hair, spit on her until she decides that she's DONE and goes to her room for "Mama Time Out."

I swear, three-year-olds make you cry and laugh at the same time.


Kiki said...

Mama needs some Calgon.

(Do they even make that stuff anymore?"

Lyle said...

Spray & Wash? Who would have thought. Thanks for the heads-up.

Our [almost 3 year old] just tore a door off our dvd cabinet.

~j. said...

Oh, Alanis!

That book setup will work nicely for when Segundo is old enough to be bossed around by Guille: "You stay over there, and I'll just stay right here." Also good for: "Bring me that book. Now put this one back. No, not there, there. Turn it around. Move it over. No, in the other place. You have to get this right if we're going to be friends."

(classic oldest child tricks)

sarah k. said...

I'm so excited to try the spray n' wash! I've got a couple walls that need some deglazing. Also, Febreeze is essential for pillows and mattresses, if you get my drift.

I worked at a girl's camp one summer where, if we got pushed over the edge, we could lock ourselves in the walk-in fridge and scream at the top of our lungs. How I miss that walk-in.

Emily said...

I was especially delighted when my two year old decided to spread peanut butter all over the soles of his feet and dance around the carpeted living room. I can laugh about that now, but at the time it just made me cry. And cry.

~cari~ said...

Whoever came up with the "terrible twos" never had a three-year-old.

Azúcar said...

Cari, it's the truth! Older, stronger, TALLER, more dextrous; three-year-olds can talk to you more but their mischief is exponential as well.

Emily- peanut butter dance, now there's one I haven't experienced.
Guille DID take the bucket of carpet cleaning water and dump it over the coffee table two days ago. I guess he was helping because it spilled on the carpet.

Lyle, our coffee table USED to have matching doors on either side. Guille broke those off. He's broken the door off the entertainment center as well, but I've been able to repair that one.

~j, now that is funny, because I remember saying similar things. Oldest children are the smartest *sigh* that's just reality.

metamorphose said...

What a stinker!

sue-donym said...

Hey! I folded those jammies.

How can you ever get upset at a face like that? He is perfect!

b. said...

I love three.
But I dislike certain three year old behaviors. Is that the pc way?
When machine was two he emptied the bathtub he and his brother were in two cups full(one in each hand)at time, onto the bathroom floor. We just got out the camera.
He's a cute little bug!

April said...

That peanut butter dance on the carpet sounds pretty forrible. (Funny + Horrible = Forrible)

Lindsey said...

I'm glad I'm not alone.

Anonymous said...


-Mrs. Alaska