Thursday, April 12, 2007

Unshun : Reshun

“Goodbye!” said my Mother-in-Law as she whisked El Guille off to the park.
“Get some sleep,” said her husband.
“NO,” said MIL, “Sleep OR do something that YOU want to do.”
Done and done. Since Other Half isn’t here to enforce sleeping (he’s such a hard-a) I am going to putter around the house, finish my overdue library book (I have a good excuse!) and maybe even blog.

First of all, there is a new commercial on TV starring the old BYU football coach LaVell Edwards. Maybe you don’t know LaVell; maybe you’re thinking, “LaVell??” It’s a Mountain West name thing (for more insight click here.) The commercial is for Accurate Hearing, a cutting edge hearing aid store (and by cutting edge I mean they have a fax machine AND a website.) Along with spotting minor celebrities in ads, I also love regional accents. The Utah-Idaho accent just tickles me. LaVell has a great Utah accent.
Here is how he says Accurate Hearing: Ack-rhett Hearing.

ISN’T THAT THE BEST? Don’t you MISS that Utah accent? Doesn’t it make you want to order some fry sauce? FETCH, YES!

It’s been the week of unexpected mail! A flow of marvelous prezzies has miraculously appeared from the North Country. Kristen sent me the most darling hand-knit cap and booties with white ribbon trim, a kick-a ducklings picture frame, and a cloth that she embroidered with a cupcake--how am I ever supposed to use that?! Trick question, I'm not. I think I will frame it.
April sent me the sweetest little rabbit booties with matching washcloths and, because she knows how gross my house is (holla!) a Smelly Jelly Downy Vanilla Lavender room scent. It smells like love, springtime, angels, and new hope (not to be confused with A New Hope, geek in the house, holla back!)
My digital camera is out of batteries so no pictures of the swag yet. Sarah sent us some Peeps paraphernalia and then disappeared to have her own baby. I think somebody else sent me something and I am forgetting to mention it...

I love having my MIL here. She whipped this house into shape—let me tell you what! I love having my MIL here, mostly. She has planned a meat-centered meal for every night. I’m not a vegetarian by any means, but I forget that for some people if there’s not a cooked animal on the table, it’s just not dinner! Still, I’m more of a eat meat sparingly kind of girl. I’m also the kind of girl who should just be grateful that someone else went to the store, paid out the cash for the groceries, and did the cooking. Fin.

MIL and husband were convinced that Sanjaya from American Idol is still on the show because India and Pakistan keep calling in to vote for him. They are big on conspiracies. It wasn’t until I explained that the producers have made it clear that the Indian subcontinent is not responsible that they calmed down a little. They were Up In Arms!

They get Up In Arms a lot and mostly over stuff that I am Up In Arms about as well—but on the completely opposite side. So having them here means I have to keep my yappy mouth shut, which is a TRIAL, people! It’s especially hard when they start going off on ‘Muslims’ and ‘illegals’ and what-have-you. Patience, grasshopper, I say to myself, this too shall pass. I have not had to watch any of the Fox News Channel yet, so that means it’s been a good visit.

Meanwhile, my house is looking spiffier, my pre-schooler is getting his soft-a totally spoiled, and we’re having roast beef for dinner.


metamorphose said...

Kristen and April send the bestest best pressies! Aren't they the greatest??

So glad your MIL is around to help out, and you're able to have a moment to do what you want to do.

April said...


You know, I totally forgot I even sent the package! haha I'm such a nerd.

As soon as I smelled that smelly jelly, I knew I had to get it for you. Smelled so good!! Glad you like it!

Chanel said...

Fox News, aie yie yie!!!!
I love all your sweet-a adjectives!
Glad you got some "me" time too!

Emily said...

I want to say something useful.

In-laws. Houseguests. Republicans. Sometimes it's all just a little overwhelming.

Anonymous said...

I, who had a relative in-house last week, have quite a few tales to tell of what he got all Up In Arms about...

Kiki said...

Every time I come to your blog now, I want cookies. Why is that?! COOKIESSS.......

Um...what was I going to say? Oh. Sanjaya is still on the show because he is, and I mean this, the smartest damn contestant left on that show! Has he already hired a PR person? Has PR person told him that he will be the next American Idol if he sings "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" next week? That would be the BEST. AI PERFORMANCE. EVRRRRRRRRRR!!! Sanjaya has won me over (secretly) because he brings the crazy-awesome every week. Melinda needs to get her act together and stop singing boring songs before I smack her! SHE NEEDS TO WIN THIS THING!

Azúcar said...

Dear Kiki,
Did you watch the Friday Night Lights Finale? I did, at 3am yesterday. I nearly texted you. I should do that, start texting you when I am awake just because. Would you feel better?
I am with you on Melinda. If she sings something up tempo she may stop looking like she's 65 and performing on a cruise ship--I mean FUN Ship!

Dear Anon,
Please, please, please come back and tell me some of them. Can you do that without flushing your anonymity down the drain?

Dear Emily,
They believe everything on Fox News. Sometimes it's jaw dropping. A single news source, no matter the channel, is rarely the authority. On the bright side, we agreed about more stuff than we ever have before.

Dear Chanel,
I live for Me Time. Right now I am subtracting sleep for it.

Dear April,
It's called Smelly Jelly! How can you not love it!

Dear Meta,
They are too generous. Sorry about your mouth.

compulsive writer said...

This is off topic (except I am so relieved to know you are a "eat-meat-sparingly" kind of gal because I am bringing carrot bisque and no meat for dinner--unless you're not in the mood for soup) but I read this tonight (just the first paragraph) and immediately thought of you. In fact I got right up out of bed where I was not sleeping and had to tell you about it. Silly me.

Glad you have help.

(I also thought of you when my significant other told me this morning "don't worry about the dishes, we'll do them tonight" because I have been ill. I did a batch this afternoon anyway knowing there is more than one batch to do. Guess what? Everyone else has gone to bed and the dishes are still there. Waiting for house elves I guess.)

Take care--

Lindsey said...

I remember back in the day a SLC radio station used to do a "Utah Word of the Day" (KJQ?) that I am a Utah transplant in FL it's nice to see a Utah word every now and then! That is, a Utah work ack-rhettly spelled... Thanks!

Enjoy the IL's!

Lindsey said...


Anonymous said...

you mean you want me to tell you here?

Anonymous said...

Dear anonymous, Yes! Now we're all curious. I'll tell you what. I'll fess here about when I was in the hospital for a week and my husband couldn't take time off work so humbled myself to ask my MIL if she could come and help with my x number of kids, but she said she was too busy yet just a short time later she came out to watch my BIL and SIL's kids so they could go on a ski vacation. Uh-huh! So I will fess that here if you will please do tell.

And although it's been years I have to say that a little part of my heart still smarts over that blow. I am not, afterall a very mature person.

So what's your dish?


Queen Scarlett said...

I just saw the shun:unshun episode last night... that writing is so smart and the acting... the best.

I have to admit I thought the same thing of Sanjaya too... for the love of pete... why is that crazy child on there?

Glad you're getting help!

~j. said...

Yeah, I love Melinda. Not so much the faces she makes as much as the sounds she makes.

more caffeine, please said...

Yay for you and the MIL. My inlaws are here and stay tuned for a doozy of a post. They're awesome, and now my house is, too...

Anonymous said...'s just really bugged me, some of the things that this relative said while he was here visiting. for example: "People here are so nice! I just went down to the corner to get a cup of coffee, and on my way back to your house, a guy --black guy!-- waved to me. He has no idea who I am, he was just being nice."

Mmm. black guy.

things like that were bugging me during the visit.

c jane said...

I love commercials with LaVell. They totally KICK-A (and sometimes produce a paycheck.)

La Yen said...

What do you mean--Fox News can't be believed? And La Vell doesn't do things just as a public service--he wants to get paid? And Muslims are allowed to vote on AI?

My head is swimming.

b. said...

I brought the hunk o' meat for other half and the lettuce and cookies for you....did it work? Were you able to have all the cookies for yourself? Because I ate the other half dozen all by myself.
I tuned into The Office per your recommendation: HILARIOUS!

Azúcar said...

Dear CW,
Let me know how those elves work out, I need to get me some.

Dear Lindsay,
YES, KJQ! I will enjoy them and then I shall send them back to your neck of the woods.

Dear Anon One,
Thank you.

Dear Anon Two,
For good reason!!

Dear QS,
Did you see crying Ashley? Pre-teen girls must be stopped!

Dear ~j,
Me too.

Dear MCP,
Do you go into a cleaning panic when it's their time to come? Maybe that's just me.

Dear janers,
THAT is my favorite LaVell commercial of all time, even though CK doesn't say a word. He's so Method.

Dear La Yen,
Muslims wouldn't vote on AI, they don't believe in the right of self-expression or voting at ALL. At least, that's what the ILs say.

Dear b.,
I ate part of the hunk of meat because you made it and it was delicious. I also loved the baked spud and the salad with the crunchies. Tas-tee! Other Half was in man heaven. He ate more cookies than I did. I tell you what, you have to be fast around here with the cookie eating or you're SOL.

Queen Scarlett said...

YES... pre-teen girls... honestly... you do not scream like that unless it's the beattles...and even then - my g have some control. I can't think of one person I'd scream like that for... Jesus - the Prophet...but those aren't screams so much as happy little goosebumps doing the wave.