Monday, May 21, 2007

Dateline: 5-21-07

**This post updated throughout the day

8:43 AM

I heard the baby crying this morning as I was waking up. They brought him to me in bed. This time, however, my baby was a 25 year old Peruvian man on the shorter side with a serious 5 o’clock shadow. I tried to make sense of this in my head. “This is your baby and you need to nurse him,” they said. I tried to lay the Peruvian across my lap to nurse, but he dwarfed the Boppy. “But if this is my baby,” I said to them, “Why do I still hear my baby crying?” I decided to shake the Peruvian off and go find my real baby. It’s a good thing, too, because my baby was still in his crib crying his heart out. I knew that there had been something all wrong about that Peruvian

2:32 PM

"Pop star Jessica Simpson has shocked fans by confirming her romance with rocker John Mayer is over. After Simpson attended the Cannes Film Festival solo earlier his week, rumors were rife that the couple's nine-month romance had cooled. And now news show Extra is reporting the split is official. " source.

No, no, no. We were SHOCKED that they got together. We were SHOCKED that they continued dating each other. However, we were NOT shocked that they broke up. Any one shocked out there? Didn't think so.

3:59 PM

Lisha calls to say that instead of Chicago, she's heading to Honduras for Memorial Day weekend. AWESOME, is what I say. Then I read her the State Department travel advisory for Honduras. She asks if she should tell mom that she's going. We both vote NO. Instead, she's going to send an email to notify dad and ask him not to tell mom. Papa is good like that: he supports adventures 100%. La professora only supports adventures 14%, on a good day.

4:42 PM

REDACTED. Other Half asks me to remove this item for now.

8:05 PM

Bedtime. I announce to El Guille that he is going to bed. He runs from me yelling, "I hide, I'm hiding, I'm hiding. I'm hiding in the kitchen." I don't have the heart to tell him that a.) announcing that you're going to go hide and b.) telling us the location of your hiding place isn't the best strategy.

8:46 PM

I made Other Half's favorite to celebrate **redacted**, Pie: from scratch Coconut Cream.

I've never had a decent coconut cream pie that wasn't homemade. I just don't think you can duplicate it in a commercial setting and have it turn out halfway decent.

10:09 PM

"JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Over 1,000 pregnant women in South Africa set a
new world record Saturday for the largest gathering of women due to give birth -- and there were no early arrivals...The event needed only 100 pregnant women to set the record, but attracted 1,146 which was verified by independent adjudicators to enter the Guinness Book of World Records." source.

I can't help but think we could break this record on any Saturday of the month at a mall around here. I bet we could break this record simply by having the Guiness Book show up to BYU devotional.

10:50 PM

Kiki and I are chatting. She wants a piece of pie. I tell her to think positively and make a wish. No dice; she is pie-less still.

I knew The Secret was crap.

11:45 PM

My friend Dave wrote the best post about how growing up in Utah we were always in the shadow of California. I love his blog. We went to elementary, junior high, and high school together. He takes me right back to those days--he's a great storyteller. Some time you should go read this classic, it might be my favorite blog post ever. Everytime I need to laugh I go read it. Are there any blog posts that are your go-tos when you need a laugh?

12:03 AM

And now I'm just stalling so I don't have to go to bed.


Tori :) said...

Ok, the whole Peruvian guy trying to nurse thing kinda wigged me out.
Jessica Simpson deserves to be alone after dumping Nick. He's just too hot...

Azúcar said...

He didn't nurse--I know a changeling when I see one!

Emily said...

Every time I learn more about John Mayer, his stock just keeps going down. I used to think he was a good-looking, talented, very intelligent musician. Now I think he is a good-looking, talented, very intelligent musician who also happens to be an egomaniac, a sex maniac, and a womanizer and who has really tasteless love interests.

fijiangirl said...

Congratulations on the job for the fall!... I also agree that Jessica needs to be alone after dumping Nick.

b. said...

But can you stand to watch Johnny sing?? His lower face turns into rubber and he looks as if he's going to drool.....
Then again, I can't stand to watch Jessica sing either. Hmm, it's too bad. Seems they were meant for each other.
Congratz on the job!!
Tell me it was at least Freschetta (or it's not delivery it's diGiorno).

Elizabeth said...

That's great re: the job. Congrats!!

sarah k. said...

I just tried to read the Peruvian part out loud to Derek, but I couldn't stop laughing.

Dang, if I'd known you needed pizza, I would'a invited youse over for mine, which, if I do say so, was fantastic. Yay for the job! Congratulations! Maybe we'll do a real pizza party one of these days. Pizza and Ice cream? And cookies?

Azúcar said...

It was Freschetta! My two boys wanted it.

Thank Fiji & elizabeth!

I bet yours was better, sarah, and I would have brought the coconut cream pie, because I did make that.

Lindy said...

great news on the job offer!
having a partner who has a real, steady job is just the best.

Queen Scarlett said...

I love how specific your dream is with the peruvian... ;-) Did he get a show before you went to find your baby?

I'm with you about NOT shocked they broke up... two airheads... ugh vacuum.

Dying to know what was redacted.

Hilarious how you told the "I hide" story. He is too funny.

When I showed my hubby your pie... he said "mmmm...I could really go for one right now." Recipe please? OR... come visit? heheh

pflower10 said...

I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for a great Coconut Cream Pie recipe (hubby's favorite). Would you be so kind as to share it????

Kiki said...

I'm suddenly craving coconut cream pie. Yes, that sounds very delicious indeed.

Emily said...

Love the I hide story...reminds me so much of something henry would do. and i saw the announcement before it was redacted and would like to say congratulations...and i hope everything works out. (fingers crossed for y'all!)

Cindy said...

Those Peruvians.

Azúcar said...

If I had a nickel...

Noelle F. said...

12:03 AM

And now I'm just stalling so I don't have to go to bed.


11:34 PM California time--glad to know I'm not the only one!

Here's a super cool word verification: zzszu. Awesome.

compulsive writer said...

So I gather from the comments (well, I also guess from the coconut cream pie--whose recipe I would beg for) congratulations are in order. Can't wait for details.

I love it when kids cover their eyes and think you can't see them, too.

sarah k. said...

Mmmm, I've never made coconut cream pie. Lazy like that. Now, I think I might. TODAY!

c jane said...

Though I can guess the redacted part I wish I could read the original statement. I do own an e-mail account.

Kiki said...

The secret most certainly does not work!

Both of these posts are some of my favorites ever. They both go together because they tell the story of a girl's iPod, Lenny, and his adventures.

b. said...

I adore Scooter Dave's wife, we work together. She introduced me to his blog, it was the first I'd ever read. He IS a great story teller! It is through his blog that I found you, and the rest is history.

Clyde said...

Watery mouth here by just looking the picture of your coconut cream pie... You must have a pie-party soon. I don't mind to cross a couple States to get to your place and have a bite of your homemade sweets. Deal or no deal! :)

PS: Congratulations for your Other Half on the good news! Now you can go and buy a cute extra pair of shoes without feeling (very much) guilty... You deserve it, working girl!

~j. said...


b. said...


Emmie said...

I love this article. The author writes about what happened when she decided to live the principles of The Secret for two months.

kristenlibrarian said...

Who hasn't had the 'ol "my baby was a 25 year old Peruvian man" dream? It's a classic!

b. said...

Anywhere else you try to lay that peruvian?

The Scooter Lounge said...

Was the Peruvians name Victor by any chance? That's my dads name. He's from Peru. He likes Boobs.

Azúcar said...

I forgot to ask his name. Next time I'll make sure we're properly acquainted.