Tuesday, June 19, 2007


"Can you do me a BIG favor? I mean a BIG, BIG favor?" said Her Imperial Majesty, The Queen.

You see, Her Imperial Majesty, The Queen is staying overnight with us as her mom was called out of town unexpectedly (called to the continent!) HIM,TQ is four and a half years old with long blonde hair and big blue eyes. Right now she has her hands on her hips, lifting her legs up one by one as she addresses me regally.

“What’s that?” I respond.
“I’m going to need YOU,” she pauses for dramatic effect and then points at me, “To go get Baby Proximo and put him in the crib,” she gestures to the bed next to her sleeping bag.

I consider this for a minute: a two year old, a three year old, and HIM,TQ are all sharing El Guille's bedroom tonight. Then I think about placing 10 week old Proximo in his crib.
I smile and say, “I don’t think so. You can play with him in the morning.”

HIM,TQ purses her lips and processes this denial of service.

“Can you do me a BIG favor?” She asks again.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Can you go get me a sippy cup, and a sippy cup, and a sippy cup? And will you fill them with juice?” She says in a clear voice meant to command attention and send pages hopping.
“Nope,” I say.
“Or water,” she adds, as a conciliatory offering.
“You all had drinks before bed. The rule in our house is no drinks after brushing teeth.”
HIM,TQ thinks for a moment and then allows a very undignified and most un queen-like little whine escape her bow mouth.
I raise an eyebrow. She folds her arms, unhappy with the result of the negotiation, and returns to her sleeping bag.

I stifle a giggle.

I’m called back two minutes later.

“HE,” says Her Imperial Majesty, pointing at El Guille, “HE keeps getting out of his sleeping bag.” She says this standing at the doorway with no trace of irony as I glance at her empty sleeping bag.

“Everybody, back into bed,” I say.
“And can we get some sippy cups with juice in them?” HIM,TQ tries, just one more time, to plead for her subjects.

“No drinks after brushing teeth,” I remind.

I don’t remind her that I was in the hospital waiting room when she was born. I don’t remind her that I was one of the first people to see her alive on this earth. Instead, I decided to listen to Her Imperial Majesty, The Queen reign over her subjects in this condo through the closed door.
After all these years, four whole ones, she still makes me laugh.


Mrs. Dub said...

why do i have a sneaking suspicion that i might be raising the next HIM?

~j. said...

HIM,TQ makes me laugh, too. Only, when she comes to my house, we have the "dress-ups" for her to more accurately fulfill her role. I just love her.

tiff-fay-fay said...

I am proud to say that this is my offspring. She rocks! :)

and yes, she's extremely persistent and a touch domnieering .. well, maybe commanding is a better word. She'd make a better president than Hilary that's for sure :) I'm grooming her for running corporations, international charities, and most importantly the chaos known as a family :)

sue-donym said...

My hero!

fijiangirl said...

to me it sounds like daughter!

AzĂșcar said...

You're not kidding!

TĂȘtue said...

You handled that much better than I would have. Bossy kids drive me up the wall.

It's for the best that I don't have any offspring. :)

Sarah said...

I want a children's book written with this girl as the evil star! Well written :)

April said...

There's cute commanding, such as Jersey's ordering me to pay attention, and HIM,TQ's needing you to do her a favor. Then there's the really annoying commanding, like my friend's son. I can't even stand to be around him.

You're excellent at being gentle, yet firm, by the way. Way to go!

La Yen said...

Can you get ME a sippy cup? And fill it with gin? I haven't brushed my teeth yet...

sara said...

Love your posts... you're a great writer. I've got to get me some good nicknames for my kids.

Geo said...

This wants to be a book.

Lucky Red Hen said...

As I was reading I was guessing that HIM,TQ was Tiffayfay's little girl - fits her to a TEE. teehee

How about come spend the night over at OUR house and get our HIM,TQ whipped into shape?

kiki said...

Sippy cup of gin, indeed!