Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Reply All

You all know how much I hate email forwards. I can't abide them. Usually, however, I'm pretty good about just letting things go. Grit my teeth and just let it go, go ahead, gulp, let it go.

Today, I couldn't let it go.

My mother-in-law sent me some email about how a woman in Colorado got a speeding ticket and had to go to court. At court, there were a bunch of (what the email is assuming) illegal immigrants Spanish speakers. The translator had to leave early that day so all the the non-English speakers had to go first. This is AMERICA, and she speaks ENGLISH and she had to WAIT. What is this world COMING to. The email concludes "Our Country [sic] is eroding every day right before our eyes. No country in the world has ever survived having 2 major languages*. We are heading down that path."

So, as I have warned multiple times, I hit the 'reply-all' button. Oh yeah.

Don't try and stop me, I'll take you all down.

"Who cares?" I said, "She broke the law. I don't feel bad for her at all. I don't feel bad about paying 89 cents a pound for strawberries either."

What I really, really wanted to say was:

"Who cares? She broke the law. I don't feel bad for her at all. It's just a shame that if she killed a small child while speeding through a school zone we couldn't deport her back to Germany/England/Sweden in parts equal to the sum of her ancestry. And I don't feel bad about paying 89 cents for strawberries either."

Shooooot, I just keepin' it real, yo [sic.]

I also don't know how to leave well enough alone. I hit 'reply-all' again and mentioned,

"The last statement, that no country in the world has survived with two major languages, is patently false. The VAST majority of nations on this earth have more than one major language. Here is a list of countries with more than one official language."


As Kiki can tell you, this exchange was punctuated with significantly more cussing of the most base variety. I chose not to record that for posterity at this time.

If there is one thing I can't stand, more than mere xenophobia and racism, it's STUPID, baseless, jingoistic propaganda that serves to inflame the gullible with inaccuracies and fear.

So don't forward me that tripe.

'Cause that's how I roll.

*Then again, perhaps the email is correct in saying that no country in the world has survived two major languages in the most far-reaching sense that every country will be born, rise, fall, and be absorbed into the next geographical entity to occupy that same area of land. However, I maintain language is NOT causal, even if you try to make the case for the previous argument.
Yeah, I don't think the author of the email is smart enough to consider that either.
And that's the reasoning of someone who was raised, speaking Spanish, by an immigrant. Peace, out.


Mrs. Dub said...

this kind of thing gets me all hot and bothered, too. sometimes i really do think some people are dumb.

i am surprised your MIL keeps sending them to you. maybe she likes to get schooled in tolerance after all. maybe one day she'll get something from it.

~j. said...

Did it include the promise that if you didn't forward it on to twelve people THIS VERY SECOND then that means you don't love Jesus?

That's my favorite.

Haley said...

I like how you roll.. :)

kristenlibrarian said...

God forbid an American must wait a few seconds more for her/his turn. And God forbid it's because of a "foreigner". I'm tired of this "I want it now. Give it to me now. Get out of my way. Me, me, me." attitude that seems to be popping up more and more. AND regardless of what language we speak we are all humans and should be treaded as such.
--End of mini rant—

April said...

I have no idea what "jingoistic" means, but I agreed with everything else you wrote.

If the woman had had to go to court in Mexico and the English-speaking translator was leaving early, I'm sure she would have felt quite justified in moving ahead of all the Mexican residents.

fijiangirl said...

Normally I don't read the forwards I get either... usually I just hit Deleated! But sometimes I hit reply to all and say...THIS STORY IS NOT TRUE! you can check it out on

Azúcar said...

Mrs. Dub, that IS the funny thing. She knows my position. She is mostly moderate on a lot of issues when you get down to brass tacks. I think sometimes she gets swept up in emotional rhetoric and doesn't fully consider the logic that she is perpetuating.

~j, You know that's my favorite too. Nothing says I love my Gods of choice like wasting bandwidth!

Haley- The feeling is mutual.

K-Librarian- Even the crazies at the library? EVEN THEM?

April- That's a hot point. Although we all know Mexico is a more fun place to drive because so many of the rules are optional.

Fiji- I responded so many times with the snopes link, that my MIL called me on the phone to ask how it works so that she wouldn't forward untrue things anymore. You can lead a horse to water...

Engineer: martha corinna; Conductor: j. bradley; Restless Riders: norah corinna, lucia louise, j. abram; On the Caboose: tequila the foxdog said...

My FIL is a bigot, sexist, racist, and an idiot. He LOVES to forward emails. He wouldn't dare forward them to me so he just forwards them to my husband who then forwards them to me. I get all worked up over the stupidity and the ignorance of the emails and end up arguing with my husband, not that agrees with them, I just need someone to argue with. You've given me license to tell my FIL what I think of him and his of these days.

Azúcar said...

Look, if people send you stuff, they want your opinion! Right? I suggest you give it to them. I'm a big fan of using factual evidence to break their spirit. Hey, they asked.

Tiffany said...

mis jardineros dicen gracias para el hueso.

I pretty much grew up in Little Me-hee-co so I am used to the dual culture experience. Can't find good mexican food out east like I can here in good ol' Bakersfield, CA. Half of the restraurant section in the yellow pages starts with El.

con amor,

compulsive writer said...

You can buy strawberries for .89 cents/pound?

wendysue said...

I'm assuming that she completely forgot the home you grew up in right? Un.bel.ieve.a.ble.

I too have replied SO many times with snopes. . .if I had a nickel. . .

Azúcar said...

Saturday at Reams!

kiki said...

My formally innocent ears are still burning.

My word verification is "hagovox". I'm a nerd.

Michelle said...

You go girl- I heard you loud and clear!

Jennifer B. said...

That's tellin' 'em!

Tiffany said...

Just curious,

Az, what is your mother's story on coming to America? She's from Spain right?

I could be totally off.

Eric D Snider said...

Everyone stop saying ".89 cents"! Either say "89 cents" or "$0.89"! If you put the decimal point in there, it means you're buying strawberries for 89/100 of a cent, which would be a HUGE bargain, even at Reams.

On a related topic, I don't like Mexicans.

Azúcar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Azúcar said...

Did I ask for an editor?! Hells bells, Snider! Can't a girl throw up slop onto a blog at 1:20 in the morning anymore? What is the Internet coming to?

I'm fixing it, but just because I woke up this morning and felt like it.

Jeez, everyone's a critic.

Holly said...

I don't understand why people still forward those emails. I mean, do people really believe them? Like ~j. mentioned, the worst are the ones you have to pass along so that you don't have bad luck or a piano fall on your head. I thought that I had received my last chain letter in seventh grade, that was until Al Gore invented the internet.

I guess I should just consider myself lucky because my MIL only uses the computer once a year to compose super cheesy Christmas letters.

Holly said...

And another thing that bugs me about these emails is that I get them from people that I never hear from. They can forward this crap, but don't have time to say hello, even within the forward. I need new friends.

liz said... my grocery store carried a power energy drink call jet set!

was this an egg before the chicken or chicken after the egg?

I totally think you should collect royalties for the name usage if you were first. or at least have abby neck image on the side of the can or somesing.

Emily said...

He makes a good point about the decimal/cent thing.

I like Mexicans.

The Scooter Lounge said...

My brother-in-law always forwards these ridiculous conspiracy theory, and religious hocus pocus garbage emails. He's the type of guy who likes to live in fear of almost everything, and believes everything as long as it's complete nonsense.

Recently he sent an email in which he said that mexicans, unlike canadians, are a people that feel entitled and are leeches to the economy. Then maybe because he knew he sounded racist, he said, "it's just pure logistics." (I think he meant statistics, bless his ignorant little heart.)

But just in case he ever does find that Nephite gold buried in Mt. Loafer, I have to humor him.

Julie said...

I love that you respond to all the recipients to set them straight. You go girl! You've certainly made me rethink a thing or two, for which I'm always grateful. I can't progress if my friends don't help me see different points of view.

Snopes is the best!

I detest those e-mails that say "Send this to all your friends--including the one who sent this to you--and you'll see how much you are loved." That's a load of shit. I don't need e-mail to know that my friends care about me.

Deborah said...

THAT'S why I have so many fond memories of AP History . . .

Cindy said...

Those sound like the forwards I get from my cousin Alicia.

Rachel said...

my grandma lafaye, bless her heart, sends me facist propaganda all the time. my recent fave was the one about obama being al qaeda's newest tactic . . . his middle name is hussein after all, and they've said they're going to get us from the inside. so many times i feel like replying with these words only: "grandma, i'm a democrat." but i think it would break her heart.

i have sent her snopes links to set her straight, and now she even knows how to use snopes herself. that's been a big relief; half of her forwards i'm sure are demystified before she can even hit forward.

Sharon said...

Yes, I enjoy your blog so much I am reading the archives. Loved this post. Took me back to the day I replied all to the cringeworthily stupid one about the Muslim stamp... if I'd known you, I would have forwarded it to you on purpose. Ever suspected a friend of baiting your inbox?