jetsetgreen

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Back to school

I always know when the students are back in our college town. This year it’s because for some reason, they think they are invincible. I nearly ran over 12 of them today. That is not hyperbole. Maybe they watched too much Heroes last season and identified with the indestructible cheerleader. Let me tell you something, kids, you are not indestructible. I can destruct you. I will, too, if you continue to jay walk in the dark. I don't want to be the agent of natural selection, but if you run out in front of my car, you have incredible faith in my brakes.

And you, missy, who decided to cross the street when my light was green, you just escaped with your life. I nearly stopped and demanded your mom’s phone number. Next time I just might.

I don’t quite understand how the sense has left them. My kid sometimes forgets and walks into the road, but he’s THREE and you’re six times his age. Even he knows that cars will “squish” him.

I understand that our college is a religious school, but let me tell you something, God ain’t going to translate you in the middle of Canyon Road on a Monday night.

20 comments:

Mrs. Dub said...

You have my blessing to take them down. At least you'd call 911 afterward. If they hit each other, they'll just keep driving. It's so hard to hear a thumping body over all that bass.

b. said...

amen to mrs. dub.

You call it like it is.

And you crack me up.

Lindsey said...

I propose that this blog entry be printed out and posted along 9th East!

Azúcar said...

Oh yeah, 9th east!

Would it be wrong, just to clip them a little?

I should state that I am religious about crosswalks. If a someone is at a designated crosswalk, I stop every time.

If you are jay walking in the dark I will not stop (probably because I can't see you, you jackass.)

c jane said...

My mother needs to read this post, especially given that it is Education Week.

One time, after the Return of the Students she came home to tell me that she says VERY BAD swear words in her head at the students when she is trying to get on ninth east.

People are always like "what? there are actually people who take up residence in Provo? what?"

Good/funny post.

Emily said...

Ugh, I am kind of dreading the invincible, too-cool-for-school students part of moving to Provo.

Azúcar said...

Ugh, Education Week, don't get me started, don't even get me started.

Michelle said...

The dreaded student comeback! I remember loving the spring and summer in Provo just to be bombarded with students in the fall.

compulsive writer said...

I had to turn my bass down so I can read this (I'm guilty, but only when it's a song I really really love). But yes. And I'm one of those handful of people who actually stop for pedestrians in this town, but only if you're in a marked crosswalk.

If you jump in front of me in the middle of the Richards Building parking lot you're on your own. And don't you dare yell at me that "Pedestrians have the right of way!"

And to all the regualr season residents of P-town:

Remember to make sure your fridge is stocked up well before the Saturday night before school starts. You absolutely do not want to go to the local grocery store on that night. Ever.

Geo said...

c-dub: True dat.

sara said...

The new college kid drivers can be just as dumb as the jaywalkers. One of them t-boned me on 9th East (didn't see the stopsign??) & totaled my Honda civic a few years back. I took out a street sign, a curb, & stopped at a telephone pole. She felt so bad though & was so distraught, the cop told me I should go give her a hug. I did. But only because she had insurance.

Sarah said...

This is a serious pet peeve of mine too. There really is something about college kids and disdain for sidewalks. It was the same way at University of Michigan and University of Virginia. I always want to throw on my brakes at the last second to teach them a lesson but heaven forbid I flatten their pompous butts on the pavement.

~cari~ said...

Very few things irritate me more than driving on the east side of Provo when school's in session. I thought you had to be smart to go to BYU !?!

This is me said...

I live in a college town, too and this absolutely DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! Here, though, there are a lot of people who ride their bikes and they are just as dumb as the jaywalkers, only more dangerous because they are fast. I wish they would all learn that just because you are in the crosswalk doesn't mean you get to cross. You actually have to have the walk signal, too.

Maybe we should institute pedestrian helmet laws. Then we wouldn't feel so bad if we hit one.

Ha Ha: My word verification is IDOTS. How appropriate.

Rynell said...

Amen.

Nemesis said...

My favorite is the light between the Tanner building and the (former JKHB). I have never been so close to committing deliberate vehicular manslaughter as I have been there. It's like they're a bunch of freaking ducklings!!!!

Am really glad I'm not experiencing that at the moment.

Tiffany said...

HA HA HA! You also know it's college time in Provo when you see cinder blocks in front of Walmart along with other dorm room essentials.

Livs said...

i am guilty of being an oblivious jay walker... that being said, I've always fantasized about getting hit by a car and waking up from a six month coma to find that a beautiful doctor has fallen in love with me even though he doesn't know who i am because i was jogging when i got hit and had no identification on me... oh, and i don't have a family or any friends because i am a beautiful misunderstood shy person or something. anyway, i say give the lil' sh**s a wake up call. let 'em know that getting hit by a car isn't all that they might think it's cracked up to be.

michelle said...

so funny! We have just moved to the bay area and were driving through berkley a couple weekends ago and I was reminding my hubby of that dumb mentallity of college kids. Seems to be "I can just walk when I want, the cars will have to stop". The scary part is I actually remember feeling that way as a student in Provo myself! I know, don't call my mom, but I think next time you should definitely roll down your window and get their mom's number!

Christy said...

C-
This is quite possibly my favorite of your posts so far, simple as it is.
I've been reading your stuff for a couple weeks and love it; thanks for visiting mine!
Until I discovered your blog, I had no idea you were any kind of Spanish. And I'm pleased to say I actually know what "Azúcar" means without having to look it up. Thanks to two years of high school Spanish, I know how to assuage a sweet tooth in Mexico, should the need ever arise.