Tonight was leftovers night and I didn’t have to cook. So I baked!
When cjane came to dinner last week she brought homemade Oreos. They were so good I ate most of them right after she left. Only a few made it through the terrible ritual sacrifice to my belly that night. The bell tolled for the remainder by week’s end.
I wanted to make some of my own but didn’t have a recipe. I did some digging and found a recipe in one of my neglected cookbooks:
"Of course Azúcar owns that book," my friends are saying right this minute. And of course, they are right.
Why make your own Oreos when you can just buy them? Why not, that’s why. I don’t feel like putting on clothes to go to the store and pick up second rate shelf stock because it’s frakking hot.
Plus, what if you wanted to make one giant Oreo? It’s not like Nabisco is taking orders on Oreo sizes. Who are they to tell us what size the Oreos will come in? This isn't Cuba, Fidel! I made big ones and small ones. You heard me. Just for the hell of it I even made double stuff. I CONTROL the Oreos. I am the Oreo master.
Don’t they look tasty? They totally are.
I know that there are at least two of you out there right now that are thinking to yourselves, “Wow, some people are so talented and they have it so together. I should stop looking at some people’s blogs because they make me feel bad.”
Just in case looking at a pile of delicious, homemade Oreos hurts your feelings, may I interest you in a picture of my living room the way it is right now?
Don’t you feel superior that my house is a cluttered mess and I spent my night dinking around instead of cleaning as is my duty? Guess what, the clutter will still be there in the morning if I feel like cleaning it, mom! If I don’t feel like cleaning it, I can lie on the sofa and make El Guille do it for ‘character building.’ Character building is the best thing ever invented for lazy parents.
What? No. I’m not lazy, I make homemade Oreos. When the recipe said, "Drop by rounded teaspoons," I took my teaspoon and deliberately measured exact rounded portions! Lazy people don't do that!
I wonder what color that banana on the coffee table will be by morning.
By popular demand:
"Chocolate Sandwich Cookies with Vanilla-Cream Filling"
1 ¼ c. flour
½ c. cocoa
1 tsp baking soda
¼ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
1 ½ c. sugar
½ c. plus 2 Tbl butter at room temp
1 large egg
¼ c. butter at room temp
¼ c. shortening
2 cups powdered sugar
2 tsp vanilla
Scant ½ tsp salt
In food processor or mixer, mix all dry ingredients together until combined. While on low speed, add butter, then egg. Process or beat until dough is blended well and massed together. Mine was sticking in clumps and held together if pressed slightly. If dough is grainy from sugar, process a little longer.
Drop rounded teaspoons of dough onto nonstick or parchment lined sheets at 2 inch internals. With moistened fingers, round out the cookies and flatten them a little. Bake for 9 minutes, turning pans once for even baking. Cool cookies on a rack. Now, I actually cook the cookies for less. If you really do teaspoon fulls, I’d bake them for 6 minutes. If you want truly crunchy cookies, cook the full 9, but I like a little chew in the center.
Make the vanilla-cream: Put the butter and shortening in a mixing bowl and at low speed, gradually beat in the powdered sugar and vanilla until blended. Turn the mixer up to high and beat for 2-3 minutes until fluffy.
With a pastry bag (or a plastic Ziploc with the corner cut off) fill the cookies.