jetsetgreen

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Guess Who Got a Tanning of the Hide?

Click the picture for more detail.


The Filthy Padawan must know, intuitively, how I love abstract expressionism, especially Pollock.


p.s. Does anyone have a carpet steamer I can borrow?

33 comments:

Holly said...

Well, I hope you learned your lesson for buying the fake cheese.

Christy said...

And the fake lemons!

Have I told you lately that you're the funniest person I know in real life?

Jennifer B. said...

Looks like you have quite an artist on your hands.

lisa v. clark said...

I think you mean "good babysitter," not "carpet steamer."

Julie said...

Phil said, "That kid has some serious issues." (Shall I smack him for you? I was this close to doing it.) Yeah. Serious issues with science and experimentation. It's all a sign of his extreme intelligence. (I'm serious.)

All these pictures mean some serious blackmail when the Filthy Padawan is older.....

Tiffany Twisted said...

I have one, but you'll have to help me remember who borrowed it last so I can get it back to give to you. I remember loaning it to ~J after the water in the basement incident. I don't remember much of my life after that point. Anyone out there still have it? Azu needs it.

Tori :) said...

Oh my...

more caffeine, please said...

We should let he and Mac play together and see how fast the two of them could destroy an entire dwelling.


At least I can kennel Mac...

sara said...

Start adding up the cost of all these wasted food products and the cleaning products necessary to remove them from carpet, upholstery, hair, leather, wood, trains, etc. When he's a teenager and has a job, give him the bill. It's bound to be in the hundreds of thousands by then. Tell him you'll give him a good deal on interest rates. Photo evidence will help your case.

sarah k. said...

I stand behind you on the fake cheese, lemons, and chocolate. Why, you ask? Because for the love, if he had done that with the real thing, you would have been too mad to let him live.

~cari~ said...

I think, if I were you, I'd invest in laminate flooring. Holy smokes! I agree that, although this is naughty, you've got (at least) one intelligent and creative boy. My son often did naughty things when he was bored and I just couldn't keep him occupied with challenging things every minute of the day. A mother has other things to do too!

And, if you did give him a spanking...I don't blame you! I would have done the same.

Azúcar said...

I have mixed feelings about the spanking (don't we all.)

I have tried a lot of alternate disciplinary tactics. Today was the first day that we did a bare-bum and open hand spanking. The good thing is that I was not angry, it was not a release, it was done calmly. Afterwards I made him sit on my lap and talk about it. I probably wouldn't have done it, except that he poured out most of the chocolate syrup on the carpet yesterday, after which he lost TV privileges and had a long time out. With the escalation today, I felt like we needed to step up the discipline.

Argh. Being a parent is hard...let's go to the mall.

Sarah- I knew you'd understand. I keep real Parmesan whole, so he's pretty much unable to destroy that (other than by eating.) I keep that syrup around to make these shakes.

MCP- funny you should mention Mac, because a short time later, as I was getting ready, Guille was playing in the bathroom sink, filling it up, proclaiming himself a puppy, and licking the water.

Azúcar said...

Julie - I don't mind, haha, Phil probably has no idea what the boys have done to you while he's out of the house.

Sara- I'm glad you bring it up, because I consider children as part of my retirement package. He will pay me back by looking after me in my dotage.

LVC- Why, why did his Aunt not show up until 20 minutes later?

Kalli Ko said...

If receiving spankings as a child are a sure indicator of a bright mind... then El Guille and myself are sure to be geniuses. I'm still waiting for my true colors to show... I think your boy is well on his way.

Jackson Pollack is from Wyoming. So am I. Coincidence... i think not.

liz said...

time for hard wood floors?

i am really scared of my future with my toddler when i read these posts. i am sorry you have these messes!

compulsive writer said...

I'm just relieved it wasn't the Mayan Chocolate. I'm still trying to recover from that one.

April said...

Ah, kids and their messes. Jersey decided she was an airplane and began spinning around--with an open container of yogurt in her hand.

How about kid-proofing the refrigerator and cabinets? For those moments when he sneaks off with visions of chocolate and Parmesan dancing in his head.

Bek said...

Ah, this was about the time we BOUGHT one, and we wore it out. Now I have Stanley STeamer on speed dial. This week we had honey and cranberries BUT I have hardwood now.

When we did spank Cubby he would laugh. That is when we started the dreaded vinegar on the tounge with him. That did the trick.

I feel your pain.....

La Yen said...

Admit defeat and torch the condo.

Marie said...

If I ever reproduce, I'm shipping my man children off to China.

Têtue said...

Oh my goodness, when will the madness end?!

You and I have the SAME ENTERTAINMENT CENTER! Except I don't have shelves in the bottom but I do in the top, and it looks like you have it set up vice versa. Ah, I always knew you were cool--just like our matching entertainment centers.

SusieQ said...

Ohhhh. I'm sorry.

Lucky Red Hen said...

A training tool I learned with canines usually works with children too (yes, I've tried many of the same). When a puppy chews on your shoe, you should not scold him for eating the shoe but should tell him NO! then give him something he CAN chew on and praise the begeezies out of them. The behavior isn't the issue (puppies need to chew for healthy teeth and gums) it's WHAT they're chewing on that is.

That boy needs some art classes or sidewalk chalk. Redirect his energies and save the chocolate. By god woman SAVE THE CHOCOLATE (although it IS Hershey's syrup and I'm not the hugest fan of that but still, it's chocolate).

Marilyn said...

Filthy Padawan's behavior makes for the most hilarious blogging material ever. and I'm sorry for laughing.

sue-donym said...

I am still saying it's the trains. Whenever there is an issue here, the trains are involved.


We call our cheese "five dollar cheese" when the kids all come over. "Don't eat all the five dollar cheese!"

sue-donym said...

Here as in Azucar's home.

Azúcar said...

While I was cleaning up he could tell that I was really upset. He tried to make me feel better:

"Mama, you're so cool. You're so pretty. I'm so proud of you, you're such a big girl, you're so cool."

I wonder how cool he'll think I am the next time we have pasta and he doesn't have any 'cheese' to go with it.

Lindsey said...

Yesterday I woke up to my children playing in the baking soda they dumped all over my carpet. It made really cool tracks when they drove their cars through it. They were also eating it. Not so good. Did I mention I fell asleep on the couch?

Then I found Fritz playing with a tube of Desitin. I caught him before he had smeared it everywhere--just not before it was all over his body and hair, Thomas the Tank Engine, the rocking chair, the carpet, and his blanket. He missed the walls.

This was after Lilly took a gulp of children's benadryl. (And took a really long nap awhile later.)

But, you know how I am--I also leave things out for them to find so I can blog about it. It's not like kids can't climb and remove child-proof lids or anything.

Sue said...

"Mama, you're so cool. You're so pretty. I'm so proud of you, you're such a big girl, you're so cool." Ha ha ha ha Nice try, kid.

What a mess. Our carpet cleaner was the best freaking purchase we ever made.

Rachel said...

come to sacto and borrow mine! i'd love to loan it to you (esp if it meant a visit!)

Rynell said...

Very Pollock-esque indeed.

Steam clean and spot treat.
(and possibly repeat).

And I do agree that parenting is hard. Discipline is hard.

b. said...

I would've spanked him too.
I think it's okay, as long as it's not your first "go to" and you're not beating the kid with an object in rage.....just a spank. Most of the time my kids didn't push it that far, but sheeeesh, Guille! Dude....give her a break, huh?

Tiffany said...

Scoop up the cheese and chocolate from the floor, put it in a container in the fridge and the next time he wants "cheese" on something or "chocolate" in his shake, take that out and tell him that you will use it for his and you and OH will have the good stuff.

Don't let him use the good stuff. Maybe he'll learn not to waste it.

And maybe not.

Arrgh.