"Albert Fert of
Franceand Peter Grünberg of were awarded the 2007 Nobel Prize in Physics on Tuesday for a discovery that has shrunk the size of hard disks found in computers, iPods and other digital devices… “The MP3 and iPod industry would not have existed without this discovery," Borje Johansson, a member of the Germany of Sciences, said... Royal Swedish Academy
Speaking to reporters in
, Grünberg was elated but said he was not surprised. Germany
"Because I have received a lot of awards, I was often asked: 'When will the big award come?' " he told reporters. Grünberg said with a wink that he made sure to be at his office Tuesday morning "because one knows that
usually calls at around 11:30 a.m.""Source. Stockholm
I have been waiting by the phone all day today, waiting for my Nobel Prize.
I'm not exactly sure into which category I'd to fall. I had figured it probably would have been for physics. I understand at least 30% more about physics than you do--I'm 70% sure I can name the First Law of Thermodynamics. However, since they gave out the physics prize already, I'm due for something else. Here are the Nobel categories that I'm pretty sure I qualify for:
1. Nobel Prize in Baking
2. Nobel Prize in DVR Scheduling
3. Nobel Prize in the Most Overall Lifetime Entries into the
4. Nobel Prize in Housekeeping
4. Nobel Prize in Impressions and Accents
5. Nobel Prize in Being Awesome
Sure, the categories are unconventional, and I don’t pretend to be the end all be all, but I think I am more than qualified than some other people you could think of (your mom.) I might have to share number 5 with some of you, and I’d be OK with that (mostly.) After all, Al Gore has to share his Peace Prize with dozens upon dozens of other United Nations flunkies (laugh, but you don’t have a Peace Prize.)
6. Nobel Prize in an Entire Paragraph of Sentences Concluding with Parentheses
The Nobel committee awards the prizes every year, so I’d have like 364 days, tops, to live like a head honcho/top dog/rock star. I’d have to live it up, it would be a responsibility. I mean, who remembers Nobel Prize winners from year to year? Nobody. Gabriel Garcia Marquez won for literature in 1982 and no one has read him since. (I’m pretty sure that getting a Noble Prize is like winning the Best New Artist award at the Grammy’s; it’s the kiss of death! In Milli-Vanilli’s case, quite literally half of them are dead. If that’s true, please consider me out of the running for a Best New Artist Grammy.) I can't imagine how I'd live it up. Extra whipped cream on my cocoa? A new pair of shoes? I know we get a million dollars for winning a Nobel Prize, but I think I should take my new status of a role model seriously: no more than 5-300 new pairs of shoes.
I’d want to do some charity work, that’s for sure. Maybe I could sponsor a needy person, like getting Rachael Ray to retire, or putting Vanna White out of her misery (seriously guys, they make her touch the corner of a screen, she doesn’t have to flip letters at all; I can see the outline of her Valium bottle on her dress.) Some people like to help conventionally, like with third world micro-credit loans, but I'd like to put those in show business who have outlived their usefulness out to pasture (Vanna, meet Tim Meadows, Tim, Vanna.) As for the rest of the million, I’d save it for a rainy day, or for when I was really bored.
7. Nobel Prize in Honestly Thinking I’m Saving Enough When I'm Totally Not
What perplexes me is how you can do something, like Being Awesome, and not get a Nobel Prize for Being Awesome for years after you actually Were Awesome. I learned this from watching A Beautiful Mind. Russell Crowe got a Nobel Prize in Acting/Economics/Being Australian and it didn’t happen until his character had been haunting the library at
I think I’m smarter than the Physics guy who won this year (duh.) I’m not going to be waiting by my phone this Tuesday for the Nobel committee to call. Instead, I’m having all calls forwarded to my cell phone because I’ve got other things to do.
8. Nobel Prize in Vonage