Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Carol and You

One rainy, stormy, weekday in the 1980s, we 6th graders were not allowed to go outside for recess. Mr. Wilcox, our teacher, allowed someone to turn on the TV. I will never, ever forget what I watched that day: a re-run of the Carol Burnett Show. It just happened to be the most famous episode of Carol’s show, the Gone With the Wind sketch.

In case you don't remember, you can watch it here:

For part one go here.

I remember laughing so hard I thought my sides would burst. I thought, and still do, that Carol was a genius. Does anyone else recall tuning in to Carol’s show to laugh the world away? Well, I don’t, because we didn’t have a TV in our house and that scarred me for life.

I’ve watched my fair share of TV, including Carol’s show, since then. I love that she used to take questions from the audience. After I rightfully stopped acting on the stage (and showed the world tremendous mercy in doing so) my friends are my audience. I am not equal to Carol in any way, of course (she being a master) but I do love to take questions. So, let me ask you, is there anything you want to ask me? I can’t promise I’ll be funny, but I will promise that I will attempt to answer your questions in full sentences (but no guarantees.)

I’m tugging my ear for you.


Emily said...

What are your favorite restaurants around here?

Azúcar said...

I love the Thai Chili Gardens, Maria Bonita, El Gallo Giro, Las Tarascas, El Azteca for quick takeout, Yamato, Shoots, Four Seasons Hot Pot. There are probably more I can't recall. Next time I should be more prepared to answer questions (maybe study some?)

Cindy said...

I remember that episode. Mostly the part where she puts the dress on with the drape rod. I wonder how much my fascination with Carol Burnett as a child affected my sense of humor?

There's my question for you: How much does the television programming we watch when we are children affect our personalities in our adult lives?

ktb said...

I am still scared of Miss Hannagen (Carol was brilliant). I watched that movie so many times as a little girl. Me and my sister used to wish we were orphans so we could live with Daddy Warbucks.

My question:
what are the advantages of being an orphan? Would it be worth it?

Deby said...

Ok, I have a few questions for you ... you've been tagged!

- Deby

Christy said...

If you had to choose one dish (any dish) to have for dinner every night for the next two weeks, what would you choose?

(I ask you this because you are the resident nutritious and delcious guru, and I think your dinner life is exotic.)

My drama teacher used to say "God broke the mold when He made Carol Burnett."

I wish He hadn't broken it.

Christy said...

delicious, not delcious

Azúcar said...

Yes, Cindy, I think it does. I was a huge Muppet Show devotee. Here's what explains everything about me: Miss Piggy was my idol.

Azúcar said...

Advantages, no mother to call you and tell you what a rotten mother YOU are.
Disadvantages, no mother to buy really bad 80s preppy clothes for your kids (would cut down on humor of everyday life.)

Azúcar said...

Deby- I'll see what I can do.

Azúcar said...

One dish? Mushroom stroganoff. I know, it's so pedestrian, but the idea of eating mushrooms in a cream sauce (possibly with sour cream) over warm, comfy egg noodles sounds so cozy.

Or: Linguine with white clam sauce. YUM.

Bek said...

No question yet, but I also adored Carol Burnett. She was my favorite (and I CLEARLY remember that episode). My favorite actor used to be Tim Conway.

I also had a Pigs in Space lunchbox for 4 years in a row. We are kind of like "early 80's TV comedy" twins...

Lets see, questions, questions, Why do I feel compelled to buy clearance Halloween candy even though no one in my house will eat it? And why did I buy 8 bags? Seriously?

Bek said...

Oh yeah, once when I was in 9th grade, we had a sub in Algebra and he let us turn on the GERALDO. It was the famous chair in the face fight. It was awesome and terrifying at the same time. I had never seen it. Yikes.... not exactly a Carol Burnett story... but still memorable... like the time we watched the space shuttle explode...

c jane said...

Hey Mama,

Who will win Dancing With the Stars?

Pulling for Scary Spice

P.S. Carol would've kicked hiney on DWtS. I know it. You know it.

Azúcar said...

Bek- because you are a faithful Daughter and you know that food storage includes candy. You know that you'll be able to barter with candy when the world ends and you start walking to Missouri.

Azúcar said...


Seymour will win because America has bought into her hook, line, and sinker. I don't know what that rhymes with witch has done to our collective souls, but she's at the bottom of something nefarious and completely sinister--how else can you explain five seasons of Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman?

Christy said...

I was a huge Dr. Quinn fan. I was twelve, but still. Sully was rugged and hot.

I thought Seymour was off?

Bek said...

Food storage!! Good one. I already have cases and cases of Diet Coke to barter with (because how many people do you know that would put that in their storage? MMMEEEE!!!!).

Candy, good one.

sara said...

Oh that was fun.

Q: Did you design your blog's new look or do you have a talented friend?

I will try to think of something more interesting to ask later.

Azúcar said...

I did it in a couple hours last Sunday night.

Interesting fact about me: I used to be an artist--as in I had to make a decision at one point whether I would make it my profession. I'm no Cindy, but I could hang.

Marilyn said...

What are you buying the filthy padawan for Christmas?


What is your favorite Christmas song?

c jane said...

Wrong Mama, Seymour was voted off last night.

I think Scary is going to win.

Do you think Scary's chest is real? I mean she did just have a baby, so big bosoms might be her lot.

(Chup votes fake.)

Azúcar said...

Ceej, I think you've made a convincing argument that I need to watch MORE TV. Seymour was voted off? Maybe there is hope for America after all.

I vote for both boob job and breastfeeding.

Azúcar said...

I actually thought about maybe buying El Guille something for Christmas yesterday! I think he might get a wagon for hauling items around. Don't tell him, or let him read this, or read this blog out loud where he can hear it. (The Filthy Padawan gets nothing.)

My favorite Christmas song? That's tricky because I hate most Christmas music. Working retail during the holidays will kill any desire to listen to any Christmas music ever again. I'm gradually (and it's been six years since I worked a retail Christmas) beginning to enjoy holiday music again.
Christmas Shoes.
Just kidding.

~j. said...

Why does Samantha have amnesia? I've only watched one and a half episodes, and I missed that part...also, I don't like the show, but I'm hanging in because you like it and I like you.

Also: what with TFP be buying YOU for Christmas?

~j. said...

(That's what will he be buying for you...)

Marie said...

Q: Why?

Azúcar said...

Did you watch the pilot online? I recommend. She was hit by a car. We don't know who hit her. It could have been her mother. The pilot explains a lot, so if you can go to and watch it, things should make more sense.

I wish TFP would buy me a clean house, a clean car, and a day alone. Also, he's been breaking my jewelry lately and so OH said something about some replacements.

Azúcar said...

Because. 42.

compulsive writer said...

I have no good questions, but I'm piping in to say I remember that episode and I had tears running down my cheeks when I saw it. I'm going to make all my kids watch this as soon as the man with the good computer comes home because it's that funny. Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball are two of the most brilliant comedians ever.

Thank you.

Marie said...

Ha! A Hitchhiker's fan!

Azúcar said...

CW- Answer anyway: My mom is so cool she dressed as The Charwoman for Halloween this year. I don't know if anyone in her super-cool neighborhood go it, but I did. And that's why I love my mom (despite the 80s preppy clothes for babies.)

Rynell said...

Apparently Blogger ate my comment.

Anyway--I'm a Carol Burnett fan. She is amazing. I remember this episode, especially the drape dress.

Q: Where would you like to be today?

kiki said...

What is something illegal that you have done that makes you laugh really hard?

kiki said...

Annie is one of my favorite movies ever because of Carol Burnett. I have it memorized. I was so disgusted with the remake of Annie that I think I hate Kathy Bates now. I couldn't watch more than 15 minutes of it, and P.S. someone was trying to be WAY too PC in that remake. I'm getting angry right now just thinking about that horrible, horrible movie!!! THE HORROR! BLASPHEMY!

sue-donym said...

You have me reminiscing my childhood now. I lived for after school tv. Loved Carol Burnett...especially that skit.

Where do you buy your fabulous shoes?

Sue said...

I used to watch Carol Burnett, in secret. My mom had some weird idea that she was a sicko and wouldn't let us watch. I have no idea where she got that from.


-Where should I move?
-What is the meaning of life?
-How did you and your DH meet? How long have you been married?
- Mac or PC?

You can just pick one to answer. (I'm nice like that.)

Sue said...

Scratch my last questions, all of them, I thought of a question I actually HAVE!

When will I be cool enough to sit at the cool table? ??!! ?!

Sue said...

Also, super serious question - what do all of the different sections on your blogrolls MEAN? I get cool table goes to college, but - why are some people sitting, and some revenging, and some just - being girly?

ash said...

Dear Azucar,

I read your guest post at Compulsive Writer about breast-feeding and have a question. I'm wondering if my one year old is on strike or just ready to be done. I am NOT ready to be done. What is my next move?


Emmie said...

If I bring you nut-and-chocolate-covered toffee for Christmas, can you eat it? Or are there still nursing restrictions?

P.S. Love the new look.

b. said...

I'll be back with my there a time limit? (that's not the question)

Carol Burnett was my fave. I loved Mr Tudball and Mrs. Uh-Wiggins. I also loved Stella Todler
I could go on...all.night.long.

Cherri said...

I want to comment on ash's comment. I too read your guest post at CW's blog one month after I stopped BF my 14 month old son. I stopped mainly because I thought that is what people do in this country. I had a feeling that people thought I was weird those last two months. I am still so heart broken and am glad I read your post...for next time.

Marge Bjork said...

This will make sense if you realize this is actually your Aunt Liz I'm talking about: I've grown up with my mom acting this skit out for me and I can't believe I've finally seen it.

Azúcar said...

I would like to be, let's see, it's November so Austria is out (too cold.) Spain is nicer in the spring. I think I would like to be in New York City today. I would like that very, very much.
Magnolia Bakery? 9am? Anyone?

annette said...

PBS just ran a 2hr. documentary on Carol B. this past week and right after was one on Lucile Ball- two of the best female comedians of all time! I remember watching CB and the "Donnie & Marie Show" every week with my family growing up and loved it. So funny! And family friendly- really. I wish we had a show like those now.

I love the new look to your blog! Wow!

Q: You seem to travel quite a bit. Is it for work, pleasure, both?

Q2: Does the term "Jet Set" for your blog represent traveling, trend setting, something else, or all of the above?

By the way, I think you are amazing! You are an intellegent, humorous, real, multi-talented writer and I love reading your blogs!

Azúcar said...

I am a massive 'fraidy cat for doing illegal things. Well, except for speeding, which delights me (and I am trying not to anymore.) I'm actually the one in the group of boundary pushing kids saying, "Hey guys? Maybe this isn't such a good idea. What if our parents find out?"

Azúcar said...

I buy from online, Nine West, TJ Maxx, Ross, Burlington, Dillards, Nordstroms, eBay, Target and anywhere else that might have a pair. I don't turn my nose up at the store, but I'm always on the hunt. There are amazing deals on designer shoes to be had if you are patient and lucky. Sorry this isn't amusing, but shoes are deadly, deadly serious business.

Azúcar said...

1. You shouldn't
2. 42
3. Read this
3.5 We just celebrated 10 years
4. PC (because the cool has to end somewhere)
5. How about now?

Azúcar said...

Sue the Sequel,
"Sit At The Cool Table" People I really know from before blogging and that I am close to. Most of the people on that list I've known for more than 10 years. I even went to elementary school with some of them

I used to work for one of the best companies on the planet that has since gone the way of all things. We had a term of endearment for those of us who were at the company to stay, "Lifers." I still work with some of the Lifers. In the case of Shoes of the Day, I've known him for almost 25 years. Anyway, they are all dear friends. Cat in France is actually my friend who passed away.

"Revenge" are a bunch of kick-a ladies that I met through a special, secret club that you all wish you were a part of (and so did I, so I begged to join, and they let me.)

"College" are my college friends, or people I met in those years.

"The Girls" are just that. Some I've known for 15 years (like darlybird) others I met blogging (like Compulsive) and others I've never met in person but they are just so cool. One I met when she googled something, which lead to my blog, and then we became fast friends in real life.

Azúcar said...

True weaning is a slow process that takes weeks, if not months. A nursing strike is quite sudden. There are a number of things that could lead to a strike. In my case, I reacted forcefully when El Guille bit me, which scared him, and he cried when he came near me for a couple days. It was pretty awful.

Here is more information on how to overcome a strike.
Good luck and email me if you need more help.

Azúcar said...

I am free and clear. Most dietary restrictions are lifted between 3-4 months (as far as my kids.) In other words: FEED ME.

Azúcar said...

Your note makes my week. You were the person I was writing for, I hope that you get everything you want next time. Oh, and take a note, don't let ANYONE ever overrule your own heart.

Azúcar said...

Marge? Is that you?

I can just see Aunt Liz acting the scene out. Do you know how much I love your mom and the warm fuzzies she brings everywhere?

Azúcar said...

Q: I have traveled for both. However, I will not be doing much work travel anymore as I've change companies and job descriptions (and I'm OK with that.)
Q2: All of the above. Plus, it sounds pretentious, which I most certainly am.

barbara walters said...

"Azucaw, what makes you cwy?"

Azúcar said...

Bad design
People with no taste and a lot of money
Finding cheese fractals on my floors

Tiffany Twisted said...

So my dearest Az -- I just came from New York. Only good things there were Bowler Girl and Seurat exhibit at the MOMA. Plus, I just like saying MOMA.

Question: Tell me what you think about me (blah blah blah)
Question: Tell me how you feel about this (blah blah and lots more blah)
Question: How'd you like this knowledge that I brought (blah blah and blah)

Mrs. Dub said...

Question: What question do wish someone would ask you?

~j. said...

~Did you know that Lucy is from Jamestown? (Actually, Celeron...) Would you be interested in attending LucyFest with me? It's in May, I think.

~When I order something from amazon on November 7th, why do I get an email saying the estimated delivery time will be December 17 - January 8? Do they think I'm NOT ordering things for Christmas gifts?

rebrob said...

What is the meaning of life? (and why do I like chocolate SO much?)

Azúcar said...

1. I think you make me laugh, that we can talk for hours and hours, and that you are one of the smartest people I know
2. I feel...good? Great? Marginal?
3. OK now I just think you aren't getting enough sleep. 5am?

Azúcar said...

Mrs Dub-

"Would you like to take a nap? May I make you something to eat? Would you like some time to go read a book?"

Azúcar said...

1. YEs, I know because you told me
1.5 No, I didn't know it was Celeron, specifically
2. I can't if it's in May, Other Half's brother is getting married and we are all going and I'm making the cake (because I am crazy-stupid.)

3. Because if it's not coming from Amazon, and it's coming from a storefront inside Amazon, there's not much they can do. Before you place an order with them, make sure you check the "This item usually ships in (insert length of time)" You can always cancel your order and find another vendor.

Azúcar said...

Rebrob- are you who I think you are? Married to the Humor Interp champion?

The meaning of life is 42.

As for the chocolate thing: it's because chocolate has all of that good stuff: flavonoids which improve your blood pressure and lowers your LDL cholesterol. Eating chocolate releases endorphins; it contains low amounts of caffeine (not enough to send you tweaking, but just enough to pick you up.)

So, if chocolate is your best friend, that's OK, because it loves you back.

Am'n2deep said...

Oh yes, I certainly do recall. I don't think I missed one single episode! Never has been, never will be any show funnier than the Carol Burnett Show.

Now I understand your love affair with television. I love hearing the reasons behind why someone is the way they are. So being a stranger, is it too personal to ask you to name something else that makes you tick and why?

Azúcar said...

Reading--because when you don't have a TV you devour books. So, I have to be reading something always. I have been known to have different books for different rooms of the house: a book I'm reading in the living room, a book on the bedside stand, and a book in my purse. The book in my purse has kind of gone the way of the dodo since now when I'm out I'm trying to corral little ones vs. entertain myself. I am very fast. I read a nearly 1000 page book in just a couple hours over four days. I average 100 pages an hour.

Kalli Ko said...

You have like 60 comments right now so here's my question:

When will your triumphiant rise to popularity end? Will it ever?

Thanks for imparting your wisdom.

Azúcar said...

I peaked last year, this is just a slow, solemn, pathetic downhill spectacle (more train wreck than event.)

Christy said...

What about a book in the bathroom?

I ALWAYS have a book in the bathroom.

rebrob said...

Yes, you guessed it. It is I married to "roxy is not loved!" So thanks for the wisdom and I think you're jet-setting into comment numbers history here!

Azúcar said...

Christy- A magazine in the bathroom, for magazines are disposable. Consumer Reports and The New Yorker.

Azúcar said...


I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings. I pay my own bills.

The shoes on my feet I bought 'em...

I see where you're going with this now.

April said...

You totally reminded me that my grandpa asked me to find Carol Burnett videos through the library. Also, wasn't it called "Went with the Wind?"

Why does everyone think Angelina Jolie is hot?

Azúcar said...

I have no idea. I think she looks kind of weird. I heard she's a really nice person, but I don't think she's hot. Her lips are strange and she's too skinny.

Dear Angelina,
Just because you sympathize with the starving refugees, doesn't mean you should go all Method with your charity.

Lyle said...

Thank you for the stroll down memory lane. I love Carol Burnett.

i i e ee said...

Trying to think of a question, but um my word verification?


Yeah. It's a little too distracting.

Ms. Azúcar. What are your three rules on reaching utter fabulosity?

Michelle said...

I LOVE CAROL BURNETT, They just had a PBS special on her and I just love her old Carol Burnett Show skits. I used to watch them all the time when I was really young and still find them hilarious. She is definitely the best female comedian of our time!

Mandee said...

I loved that show. And Miss Piggy. In fact, I can still remember (vividly) throwing a huge fit at the age of 5- in the middle of a department store- because my mom wouldn't buy me the Miss Piggy nightgown that was on display. Huge tears.

I have 2 questions-

Who are you voting for? (Presidential, not DWTS)


What is your favorite desert?

Azúcar said...

i i e ee:

1. Always dress like you have someplace you're going
2. Pick a pair of shoes that kick-a
3. Own it

Azúcar said...


I haven't decided who I'm voting for yet. Nobody gets to take my vote for granted. Hey! I'm one of those undecided voters! Someone should poll me right now.

Chocolate Mousse, or something with hazelnuts.

Lois, Our Lady of Blogs said...

I used to sneak out of my bed and hide under the kitchen table (for some reason our TV was in the kitchen) to watch "Carol Burnett." Genius.