jetsetgreen

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Do You Speak Math?

If it feels a little like I'm living with a math genius over here, that's because I am.

Have you seen Good Will Hunting? My life is a lot like that--except no one is doing any janitorial work. We put a blackboard up in our living room and put two unsolvable problems up on it; one for each of us. Other Half's is some sort of math equation or string, or jumble (I'm not sure of the technical term) that for sure will solve the looming credit crisis and the Western water issues once he finally figures it out. On my side is something about pinning down the emergence of the middle class and the industrial transition (history jokes just kill.)

"I really want to teach you calculus," He says to me sweetly. I know, other girls get flowers, some girls get vacations, still others see their love manifest in paper globes. In my house, I get propositioned by both real and imaginary numbers (I don't know what that means.)

What is it like being married to a mathematician? It's almost like being married to the grammar police, but worse. For instance, you might be used to saying something like, "That makes it exponentially harder." Other Half will look at you and roll his eyes because you used exponentially incorrectly. Do not ask me to use exponentially correctly, because apparently I rarely do.

It's not that I don't love living with a math-lete, I do. I have my very own personal calculator and logician at my beck and call. Your spouse might remember to change a lightbulb, do the dishes, or bathe, but mine can turn everything into a equation. How do you like 'dem apples?




*******************************************

In other news, guess who's crawling? Well, really, that's pretty much a gimme, isn't it? While three of us are perfectly capable of crawling yet choose not to, the fourth finally figured out forward motion. Proximo was able to correct the backwards crawl that so frustrated him for three weeks, "HEY, I want to go THERE and instead I'm HERE so PICK ME UP because this is HARD and I just CAN'T why am I getting FARTHER away I'm SO OVER THIS HEY HEY HEY I'm STUCK under the couch! I CAN'T DEAL!"

Anyone have any brilliant ideas on how to keep a Christmas tree safe from an aggressive crawler-grabber (he's so into multi-tasking)?


I saw this in the holiday issue of Blueprint; it's Amy Butler's Christmas Tree. I love how she put the base into a sand-filled vase. I don't know if that will foil Grabber McGee.

34 comments:

Lindsey said...

Try being married to a librarian who not only knows everything about anything (think: Jeeves), but also will not allow me under any circumstances borrow anything from the library in case I tarnish his near perfect record. And by near perfect record, I mean that the only fines we have incurred are mine--and that was before he became a librarian.

And no, our living room bookshelves are not arranged in any sort of system, Dewey Decimal or otherwise. But, I do know someone who would LOVE a chalkboard to find a home in our living room.

Yay for Proximo!

Mrs. Dub said...

well, crawling forward is exponentially harder than crawling backward, you know?

compulsive writer said...

"math-lete" I love it! During my junior year in high school (the last year I had a decent teacher and, hence, a real love of math) the teacher put an equation on the board and he told us he would leave it up the rest of the term. Whoever solved it would get an A out of the class.

I had my A by the end of the week. And I'm still proud about it.

I cannot believe he's crawling already! Once my kids started crawling I never got a thing done--I was too busy chasing.

b. said...

Huh?

Congrats Proximo on the crawling....find a good formula for laundering. It's dirty knees and elbows from here on out.

Azúcar said...

b- I'd forgotten about that. I picked him up yesterday and he was *filthy*. His little outfit was grimy and he was covered in...stuff. Time to start vacuuming I guess.

Mrs. Dub- It's so true (I think.)

CW- that's so cool! That would not have been me, for sure.

Linds- Can you go behind his back and go to a different library, or is this a city-wide ban? Is it borough specific?

cabesh said...

I'm married to a physicist, which means I get the math along with weird matter stuff. I still don't get velocity (why have a word for direction AND speed, why don't they just say "direction and speed) which drives him crazy.

He also wants to teach me calculus. For a while I had trouble falling asleep at night, so I told him he could teach me--worked every time. I was out within 10 minutes

Azúcar said...

Cabesh, that is hilarious!! I am going to crib that idea for solving insomnia. I, too, get the velocity thing from him, "Don't these people realize that this is about velocity?? If they'd just change this and that things would work out?" I think (to myself) "No."

sue-donym said...

"I want to teach you calculus". That phrase is actually in the "never to do" column of our prenup.

I was still in college when we married and my math classes almost caused a divorce.

math-letes are handy to have around for checkbook balancing though, aren't they?

Azúcar said...

He's not that kind of math guy. He has never balanced our checkbook, he doesn't even know our account numbers. I'm not even sure if he knows which bank is ours.

Tori :) said...

Was that your hubby's pick up line, "Hey baby. I'll teach you to do calculus..." *wink* *wink*

Rynell said...

I live with someone who speaks 2 obscure languages: All things Design/artsy AND All things scientific. So I hear all about kerning and velocity. It does help with the insomnia.

Yes...crawlers = stains.

And good luck with keeping the tree & ornaments away from said cute crawler. Some years our tree only had ornaments starting about a third of the way up. It was a mess by Christmas anyway.

Mandee said...

I am math retarded, so I don't have anything to say about that.

BUT, I just bought a Christmas tree stand at Tai Pan that looks like a planter or urn. So my Christmas tree & ornaments will be far enough away from my still-not-walking 15 month old. I'm crossing my fingers it will work.

Kalli Ko said...

Go to the home depot and get someone to build you a mini fence to keep Proximo out. It's the only solution, unless your hub can work out a differnt formula.

FoxyJ said...

Neither of us is very good at math. Well, my hubby is better than me but he's a writer/librarian. So we're language geeks who do stuff like analyze ads on TV or writing on cereal boxes. Even worse, we love to pick apart the Spanish translations of things on packaging. It took us months to decide on baby names because we have to figure out the meaning of the name as well as how it works with the meaning of the middle name and then find a scripture that the two names correspond to. I'm serious. We're such geeks.

Just put the ornaments on the top half of the tree.

c jane said...

Plus your math-alete is hot.

I think you just need to honor Proximo's personess. If he wants to grab let him.

Azúcar said...

We all have to draw limits somewhere, and the holiday decorations are IT. Well, not IT as in the scary clown is coming to murder you, but IT as in I want a normal tree.

Emily said...

Math-lete = awesome word smoosh.
Amy Butler Christmas tree = beautiful. And sensible for a household with one grab-prone Proximo.

Julie said...

Is Proximo destined to be come Filthy Padawan Junior?

I'm married to a mechanical engineer. Not only that, but he specializes in plastics. It can be downright scary. He doesn't try to teach me calculus because I already took it in college--I was one class shy of a math minor. Thankfully, he doesn't quiz me on it because I can't remember a damn thing.

compulsive writer said...

I have one May and two June babies--which meant crawling right in time for the holidays. I never cared so much about the ornaments (until the last couple of years never had anything breakable) as much as I was worried for the entire tree. I can't tell you how many times one of them would grab a branch and the entire thing would come down.

So I'm no help at all.

rebrob said...

Congrats to Proximo! That's quadradically amazing! (Was that the right usage?)

rebrob said...

ooops! I mean "quadratically." (like that really makes it any better, I know)

Sue said...

I have nothing intelligent or witty to say in my comment but this made me really laugh. I SO needed that tonight. Thanks for lightening my mood.

annette said...

You can buy this six sided gate anywhere that sells baby stuff. Put the tree in the corner and surround it with the gate. Keeps the tree and ornaments safe from the baby and the baby safe from them. (I tried to be cheap and put chairs on their sides around the tree one year, but my baby figured out how to crawl through them!)

I'm married to a linguist (although not his profession). He can say it in 4+ languages. Also, we're both first born. Thus it becomes a contest to "have the last word".

Tiffany said...

I think imaginary numbers are like imaginary friends, but instead, the friends are friendly numbers. OH is just lonely, that is what he is trying to tell you.

I once saw a christmas tree hung from the ceiling at a high end retailer.

It looked rad.

more caffeine, please said...

Can Proximo come teach Toad the ropes? He just falls on his belly and flaps his arms at his side and looks at me while screaming that this is stupid and pick him up already. He wants stuff, oh yeah. He just wants me to get it for him. I'm over it.

Emily said...

I love the story about how OH doesn't know the account numbers. We -- and by that I mean he and by that I mean my he -- is so in trouble moneywise if ever I die.

Your math teacher who doesn't do the checkbook is sort of like my portrait artist who can't paint walls.

~j. said...

Math's hard.

Is your math-lete also a bad-ass mc?

sarah k. said...

WHERE DID MY COMMENT GO? ARGH!!!

Geo said...

Hang it from the ceiling.

Tiffany beat me to that suggestion, but I still want to vote.

Never give up "exponentially," no matter if you get razzed about it. That's one of the most useful words, especially when it's used incorrectly.

Kais said...

I have to admit, when the husband asked me for help with his last class before graduation (Stats) I caught a glance of myself in the mirror and it was like a kid sucking on the best piece of candy EVER. I somehow ended up with a math brain - up until calculus at least. Now that's punishment.

Someday, when you're old and gray and working to feel the spark in your marriage, you will smile when he offers to teach you calculus. I'm looking forward to that post...

Olivia said...

Does your dude also get weird about when people use math analogies in songs and poems... "the sacred geometry of chance," and stuff like that? I knew a mathman who did that and I thought it was hilarious. The great thing about nerds is that you pretty much always get to be the "cool" person in the relationship.

Kalli Ko said...

~J,
I was wondering the same thing. Man I love Kevin G.

I also love how everyone has a category for their spouse like, "oh mine's a literary man, mine's a geologist, mine is a philosopher, mine is a coal miner"

p.s. mine is a random factor as in he knows a random fact about everything and anything you can imagine.

Azúcar said...

Livs--he hates it. He haaaaates it. It makes him roll his eyes (and then I laugh.)

Lois, Our Lady of Blogs said...

Oh, I can so relate. I'm from a long line of math and engineering majors. Did I mention their obsession with prime numbers?