Proximo was up every 2 hours screaming and crying. We could not figure out what was wrong. Scratch that, let's be honest, there's no "We" about it, I am the one getting up at night, not Other Half, so I could not figure out why he was crying.
Baby came to bed with us several times after I gave up trying to comfort him with rocking and constant motion. I don't sleep that well when Proximo is next to me, so after he was asleep, I'd take him back to his crib. If I was lucky, I’d get 1 hour and 45 minutes of sleep. If I was unlucky, I’d get 30 minutes.
When Other Half’s alarm went off at some unearthly hour and he didn’t turn it off, I may have punched him in the back. At least, I remember punching him in the back, but it still didn’t get him out of bed and he barely made it to work. Maybe I need to work on the spouse-punching skills, at least making them effective against sleeping. Naturally, when El Guille came into my room to wake me up and found his little brother there, he poked and poked at the baby until he woke up. How kind of him. Cue two hours of me played referee,
“DO NOT SIT ON HIM. GET OFF OF HIM! GET OFF!” On the plus side, El Guille ate two entire apples and refused toast. Downside, did you not hear what I said? El Guille refused toast. I’m pretty sure means that the end of days is upon us (sucks to be us.)
I stopped by Pebbles in my Pocket on the way to work to get an opaque pen and here is where I owe everyone an apology: there was only ONE
Then I worked, which is boring to most of you, so I’ll skip over that part.
Other Half called to say that Proximo was inconsolable, could I please come home on time (“For a change?”) It’s fun to walk in the door and have two little ones make a beeline for you. El Guille gets there first (because he can run) and squeezes me tightly. Proximo wasn’t far behind, crawling with an eye-single to making it to my lap. El Guille was making an argument that I should put candy canes on our Christmas tree. Yes, because I’m stupid.
“Why that is a GREAT idea, el Guille! Yes, we will put all the candy canes we can find onto the tree. After that, I will leave the room and take the baby. You can eat ALL those candy canes and we will never notice they are gone. The wrappers will magically fall off the candy canes and take themselves to the waste bin. Newer, better, stronger, and faster candy canes will emerge from the tree to replace the consumed candy canes and I will not see it. You will remain cheerful and happy, but with a tummy full of candy canes, and no one the wiser.”
The baby buried his face in my neck and then tried to eat my nose. I tickled him and he gave me a wide-mouthed grin, revealing….