jetsetgreen

Friday, December 07, 2007

Online war of words erupts between scrapbookers

There is a bitter and hurtful war of words going on over the Internet among a certain group of people. You may be shocked to hear who it is….

For example, the Web site [redacted] has entries questioning the parental skills of a woman named Heidi [edit.] They also call a woman named Jeanette H[edit]the b-word. One of the most bitter chat threads is over a woman named Kristina C[edit], who was stripped of her Hall of Fame honor. She's called things like, well, I'm not comfortable even telling you which letter it starts with.

Rusty Pickle Sales and Marketing Representative Nanette Hanks said, "People in the industry get, I think, to where they want it and they want it now, and they get mean and ugly, and it's kind of a turn-off."

Hanks says these people represent an extremely small portion of scrapbookers. Still, she says there's no reason to call a woman stripped of Hall of Fame honors a name that would make a sailor blush.

"I don't know. Maybe the people complaining about it and calling her bad names should maybe spend some more time making cuter pages. They might be there, too," she said. Source.


It’s true: I don’t scrapbook. And now you know why. Clearly, scrapbooking is a pastime that is dangerous at best and at worst, downright life-threatening. I get called enough names on my blog, or at church, or at my mom’s. I don’t need the added pressure of militant scrapbookers on my shoulders. What if they called me the “B” word? I would roll over and DIE.

Frankly, don’t you think it was only a matter of time before people stopped using their paper cutters to cut paper and instead started cutting Mrs. Rasmussen next door? I know that I carry a bone folder for protection. I’m pretty sure my unorthodox use of vellum is an anathema to the grommet and tie crowd. I’m terrified that if I didn’t make a “cuter page” I’d have to meet outside of Pebbles-in-my-Pockets for the noon rumble. Just the chugging of all the Yukon engines in the parking lot is enough to make me shiver.

Did you KNOW there’s a Hall of Fame for scrapbooking? Can you be denied admittance to the Scrapbook Hall of Fame if you’ve been found to be gambling on the outcome of your friend’s “Lil’ ‘Baller” page she assembled with cut-outs of her child and miniature footballs? What if you’ve been found in possession of a controlled substance, like glitter? What is the stripping of Hall of Fame status like? Is there sobbing? Do you have to give back your glue stick and the tiara?

That’s why in order to avoid the appearance of evil, I’m not going to scrapbook, I’m taking up cooking meth. There’s far less chance that I’ll end up getting admitted to the Scrapbook Hall of Fame, and I’m OK with that, because alternative is just too risky.


27 comments:

sue-donym said...

Then you can be one the billboard. You know the one, "Common nickname for a meth user - Azucar"

Don't even get my sister started on the evils of the scrapbooking clans. When they stay at her hotel, all hell breaks loose. A more demanding, scizzor wielding group you've never seen.

Lindsey said...

Oh....don't get ME started about scrapbooking....or scrappers. I think I might be the only one in my ward that has real interests in life that do not include scrapbooking. Yes--I said REAL. I used to get invited to their monthly "Scrap Night". I went once just to see. It scared me how seriously they all took their pages and the designs. I would rather die than "scrap" my kids lives that way. Blogging is SO much better. (ha, ha)

Laquina said...

You could start a meth-makers hall of fame where I bet you would be the best at making consistent batches with even results across the board. That can be really hard judging from the ups and downs of the import-export market but I believe in you. Making consistent scones is a huge indicator for how your meth will turn out and you kid, make excellent scones. Scrap that bi-otch.

compulsive writer said...

Psssst. Whatever you do, don't mention the word digital.

Azúcar said...

CW- I heeeard about that! It's just crazy!

(Crazy-funny.)

More than anything, more than anything else in the world, I just cannot believe that an old fashioned online flame war MADE THE NEWS.

IT MADE THE NEWS.

Anyone? Anyone?

Am'n2deep said...

Many years ago, I was invited to a late night scrap booking party with the girls. I thought it sounded like it might be fun. There was just one rule: No greasy, sticky, or gooey treats.

Forget it!

It just aint for me!!

sarah k. said...

I'm so sad that you and I were separated in utero. I'm so sad that we were finally reunited only seconds before I had to move to the breadbasket. I still owe you a movie with greasy, sticky and/or gooey treats. If I think too hard about this, I will be wallowing in self-pity the rest of the day.

I always leave the conversation if scrapbooking comes up at church. I am always sure that if my true feelings see the light of day, there will be a hit put out on me and I will meet the business end of some woman's pinking shears. (Oh crap, do they use pinking shears? Or is there some special other name for all those crazy tools of torture they use?)

Jennifer B. said...

Recipe, please?

Kalli Ko said...

meth is way more profitable than scrapbooking anyway

Lucky Red Hen said...

Geez... I'm glad I'm a biker and not a scrapbooker!

compulsive writer said...

Lucky--just go to bed! (Oh yeah. It's an hour earlier there.)

I may have already mentioned this, but a friend of mine told me I will not be exalted because I do not scrapbook for my kids.

And she was serious.

Now I'm glad to know that wherever the non-scrapbookers end up at least I will be in good company.

MoJo's Weekly Update said...

Well, the real question is how do I scrap that article into my scrapbook? Should I use glitter to decorate the edges of the article or should I put little photo corners on it? This is reel tupf.

more caffeine, please said...

Shoot. I guess you're off my invite list to the Stampin' Up party I'm hosting. What about a card exchange?

Now excuse me while I go gag.

Rynell said...

I too cannot believe that made the news. Scrappers are a tough crowd.

Lyle said...

Beware. The pot has been stirred, the lid to Pandora's box has been blown into the stratosphere. I will pray for your protection.

Rumor has it, that a circle of decapited Barbies [with meth burns]will help ward off any scissor attacking maniac.


btw, it is possible to scrapbook [peacefully] without joining the major league. Just ask Goerge and Linda Cheeseman.

Suzie Petunia said...

I always knew there wasn't something right with that crowd... Now I know.

Julie said...

Okay, I want to know who told CW that she was going to hell for not scrapbooking her kids' lives, because I'm going there right along with her.

And I want the shirt I saw once that had all the letters in the word "scrapbook" in black except for "crap," which was in red. (My sentiments exactly.)

Sue said...

This is - beyond bizarre. Another reason not to scrapbook.

Fig said...

I feel utterly validated by this post and these comments, because I really and truly thought I was the only woman in Mormondom who doesn't scrapbook.

Basically, I think scrapbooks are the lamest thing ever and I am constantly caught in the delicate balance between defending my right NOT to scrapbook and telling the scrapbookers that they suck and they should get a life and their pages aren't that cute anyway.

This feels good.

Azúcar said...

I feel like I should defend scrapbookers (!)

I see nothing wrong with scrapbooking--if that's what makes you happy, relaxes you, and is your hobby of choice, that's cool.

I just think that the sub-culture of militant scrapbooking is...funny. Come on, it's hilarious! And to have an online flame war in the scrapbooking community covered by the NEWS? COME ON!

CW-What did you say to the woman who thought your soul was in peril?

Fig said...

Good call. Surely not ALL scrapbookers are so crazy. All the ones I know are, but I bet there are some good ones who just prefer to be a little more artistic with their family history and are not mean to those of us who choose not to be.

Thanks for the niceness reminder!

compulsive writer said...

BTW I wasn't being hateful, I was just mocking the extreme passion. I too am finding humor in the fact that this brouhaha made the news.


And I could tell you stories about militant quilters...

As for my encounter, at first I thought for sure she wasn't serious, but then when I realized she was I was so shocked I was pretty much speechless. No quick retort, no brilliant defense.

What do you think I should have said?

Azúcar said...

“Huh, that beam in your eye must be really uncomfortable.”

“I’m so glad that YOU know about my progression because I was feeling so stupid leaving it up to God.”

“Oh, yes, I’m pretty sure that when we die, we get to take our scrapbooks with us in violation of all the laws of physics and nature. In fact, I heard that we'll all be buried like pharaohs from now on. Call me nuts, but I can't wait to have my die-cuts right next to the same container as my speen.”

“Name one prophet who scrapbooked.”

“That’s so funny, because I was just telling Sister Soandso that YOU were going to hell for dressing like a whore.”(Only applicable in some circumstances.)

“Well the jerk store called and they’re running out of you!”

Julie said...

I guess I should clarify my comment as well. I have nothing against scrapbooking--it's just not my cuppa. It's one more thing to add to my "oh crap" list of things other people think I should be doing. And I agree--the fact that there is some flame war going on out there between scrapbook fanatics is oddly hilarious. (I'd love to hear CW's stories about militant quilters.) Do they have flame wars amongst teaspoon collectors? Would they make the news?

Above all, the burning questions on my mind are these: How did that reporter know about this in the first place? Who gave him the scoop? Does he have an "in" among the scrapbookers?

Lois, Our Lady of Blogs said...

I hate all things craft. I hate doing them, I hate having them in my house, I hate giving them as gifts. When I explained this to my RS Enrichment group, the leader said, "Well, that's why you're here, to learn to do crafts." She couldn't even fathom the idea that I would choose NOT to do them.

Oh, a friend of ours says that they don't scrapbook, they scrap-heap.

La Yen said...

I went to the site on the news story, and man, are there some cranky posters there. Basically they just pick apart everything that is everything. I don't have time for that. I like my drama fake and in a convenient one-hour installment. And I do like scrapbooking. Because I like to glue and paste things. So there.
That being said, Jooj is almost three, which is about the amount of hears it has been since I scrapbooked.

Heidi said...

I used to teach high school. I 'm actually quite fond of being called b----.

I guess I'd better start scrapping more diligently so that I can feel like I'm back in the good old days.