jetsetgreen

Friday, December 28, 2007

Sick

I had the sickest thing happened to me on Christmas Eve, sick. This year I was in charge of the tamales, as I am every year. I make awesome tamales by the way; even my husband will eat them. I grabbed the bag of dried chilies that I bought the day before from my pantry so that I could sauté them. As I opened the bag THE COBWEBS SEPARATED. Sick. Did you just shiver? Because I totally did, and I even know what happens next.

I immediately stopped opening the bag and held it up to my face. You know, because I want to get bitten as close to my eyes as possible. For a moment I was transported to 1990, when my friends dragged me to see Arachnophobia at Movies 8. If you don’t remember, or you had nice friends who didn’t force you to see terrible movies, a horrible arachnid hitched a ride in some crates to a bucolic town in northern California and wrecked havoc. Gross. My bag probably came in a crate. I examined the bag looking for the spider (large? Brown? Fuzzy?) Instead I saw half a dozen MOTHS crawling on the chilies. Sick. I don’t hate moths, but inside a sealed bag of food? SICK.

I kind of panicked. I took the bag outside and dumped it onto our front walkway. I just stared at the chilies. I contemplated using them (oh yes I did) and then reason prevailed. It didn’t prevail enough to clean up the chilies, I just left them there for 32 hours until I had the guts to pick them up and transport them to the garbage. Sorry to my elderly neighbor, I’m sure they obstructed his walking path, but what could I do? SICK!!

Back to the tamales, I was worried that if I chucked the fresh bag of chilies I’d be out of luck. Thankfully, when I checked my pantry, I had a spare bag of chilies from a different vendor (my favorite: World Spice Merchants, out of Seattle.) The new chilies had a lot more heat intensity, so I truly did make hot tamales: shredded pork with ancho chilies, chicken mole, and sweet corn with roasted veggies and carmelized onions. They were delicious.


In other news, guess what was waiting for me under the tree?

Hello, 6 quart lover.

23 comments:

wendysue said...

eww, eww, eww! And Fabulous, Fabulous, FABULOUS! Congratulations on your new "baby"!

i i eee said...

BLEGH.

I heart your new lover -especially the color! When I'm rich and famous, I'm so getting that same exact one.

Kalli Ko said...

santa must have the hots for you, or something like that. I need to email you about lunch tomorrow.

Stand by.

more caffeine, please said...

Love your new addition and want a tamale. Or five.

Lucky Red Hen said...

After a porcelain pot desinigrated into my day-long meal, I considered fishing out the millions of shards for all that yummy goodness. But, alas, my senses (alright, maybe it was a knowledgable friend) reminded me that lead poisoning isn't good.

Please say 'hello' to your new lover from me too ;o)

Oh, and Seattle IS good for many things, huh? I'm totally going to make a trip to the spice shop (about 30 minutes from where I am, in good traffic).

Caroline said...

ooh, I'm green with envy. and icky icky moths.

Susie-Q said...

GROSS!! I hate bagged bugs. And congratulations on the birth of your new green baby.

Azúcar said...

I've been tantalizingly close to World Spice on several occasions and I could never quite manage an in-store visit--we're talking two blocks away. I order from them online and get my amazing spices straight from their knowledgeable staff. I love that shop!!

Don't be too green with envy, I plugged the mixer in to make marshmallows (cue the lightening clap and the scary violins) and the mixer DOESN'T WORK. It turns on for 5 seconds and then stops. I had to turn it on, turn it off, turn it on, turn it off for 8 minutes until the marshmallows were done.

I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE MARSHMALLOWS AGAIN. It is clearly an experiment doomed to failure.

The best news is that I called Kitchenaid and their customer service was outstanding. They are sending me a brand new mixer in a couple days.

To tell you the truth, I got this mixer and the color isn't really like it is in the picture, it's way more sage than blue-green. I had my heart set on a jadeite color and got regular old sagey-silver. So, I ordered a nickel chrome, which should a.) be lovely and b) WORK.

i i eee said...

That's too bad it's not the same color as the picture.

Nickel chrome will be divine, though.

April said...

I would have totally jumped and then shrieked like a little girl if I'd opened a bug-filled bag of food. Yuck! I've never gotten over the time that I accidentally ate an ant that was in my cereal bowl. I've never really liked Rice Crispies since then.

Julie said...

Nickel chrome is awesome. That's what I want, someday...when my 15-year-old Sunbeam mixer finally dies. Maybe I should try making marshmallows to speed up the process.

I'm going to try to come to lunch tomorrow. I may have to send the e-mail again because I'm not sure I got the right address...

Michelle said...

I had the exact experience!!! I also had cobwebs in our dried chilies. I too had to grab a new bag. We had a moth infestation over the summer and had to clean out our pantry. We must have forgotten the spices. I think moths are so much more gross than spiders! I made a similar meal but I didn't do the chicken mole. I bet yours was divine!

sara said...

That's far worse than weevils in flour or cereal. Truly sick. I'll buy some tamales off you if you're willing to sell them for $10/dozen like the local illegals do...

I love my 6-qt Kitchenaid; by far my favorite kitchen toy! I'd wanted cobalt at the time (about 4 years ago) but ended up with white instead; now I'm glad because the cobalt would've looked terrible in my new house. The nickel chrome will be just perfect. Congratulations!

TOWR said...

Sexy mixer! I hope yours brings you as much happiness to you as mine has to me. Mmmm moths. I mean, mmmm tamales.

annette said...

DO NOT GIVE UP ON THE MARSHMALLOWS! (I believe they are secretly your "lucky charms" designed to get you what you want- ie. a new mixer AND one that is a color that you like. Who knows what other "good luck" may come of them!)

Geo said...

Sicksicksickysick. Augh, ack, ecchh, that was a disgusting experience, and on the eve of Christmas to boot! Bleh.

But. Look what you got.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Sue said...

UGH. That is - ugh. I'm so sorry.

I repeat, why would you MAKE marshmallows? WHY? WHY!!??!!

(I am nervous about how much of a dork I will make of myself tomorrow. More than usual, I mean.)

Azúcar said...

Sue- because a homemade marshmallow is everything light and truth; it's sunshine and moonbeams, happiness in a cube. You can wish on a homemade marshmallow and your wish will come true.

kiki said...

Yes. I would like a dozen tamales with sweet corn, roasted veggies, and carmelized onions, a large jamaica, and flan. And that's all.

compulsive writer said...

At least you discovered the moths before you cooked with them. A friend of mine once made an entire batch of corn bread and served it to one of her daughter's entire school class before realizing...

And I am so in love with your new mixer.

Brooke said...

yum yum yum. i skipped right over the yucky part and am dreaming of your tamales.

yum.

citymama1 said...

That is pretty sick, but what would be "siiiiccc yo" was if you posted your tamale recipe.

kristenlibrarian said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! i dislike bugs in food...a lot.

I got one too! Only mine's red. Pretty, pretty kitchen aid.