Not hit on, hit up, those prepositions can be so tricky.
I got a phone call today from someone soliciting money for a cause. I was struck by the lackadaisical tone my solicitor employed trying to convince me to give her money. I had to applaud her almost deadpan delivery; it was a choice that clearly went hand in hand with fighting cancer (which, judging by her delivery, is a losing battle, so why bother?)
She ended her spiel with, “So, can the cancer patients count on you?”
To which I replied, “No, because I hate cancer patients.”
“Wait, no, I hate cancer. I get so confused at times.”
I wish I’d said that. Instead I said, “We’re broke,” and left it at that.
Speaking of acting jobs, and interesting choices, I’m a little conflicted about a performance I gave just the other day.
I decided to take El Guille to the grocery store alone, leaving the baby with my sister. El Guille and I don’t get much time alone these days, so it was a bit of a treat to escape, even if it was to the store. As I drove into the parking lot, I noticed a woman who looked a little down on her luck pacing the stalls. She was walking in between cars with a mean look on her face. She made eye contact with my vehicle and followed me to where I parked.
I am such a wimp sometimes. I just didn’t feel like a confrontation that day. I knew she was going to ask me for money, of which I probably had none, or ask me for something else I didn’t have or want to give. I sometimes give to homeless people on the street, but not in this case; it was her method that ticked me off.
The woman came and stood next to my driver’s window, just standing there, staring at me slack-eyed. Creepy. I do not want to be accosted in the parking lot of the grocery store in that way (or in any other way, to tell you the truth.)
I had seen her sidle up to the car in my peripheral vision so I decided to turn around and ‘discuss’ our shopping trip with El Guille. At that moment I ‘accepted’ a phone call. In very animated language I started ‘discussing’ my preschool plans with my ‘mom.’ That’s when the lady tapped on my window. She TAPPED ON MY WINDOW, for the love. So I gave her a quick smile and the ‘one minute I’m on the phone’ finger.
That’s when the conversation on the phone took a turn for the worse. I vigorously said “No, that’s not going to work! No!” It seemed like forever that I was ‘on the phone’ and the aggressive woman was at my window. The minutes ticked past as she stared at me. She eventually gave up, deciding that the senior citizen four cars away might be a better mark.
OK, I felt a little bad. People get down on their luck, and I shouldn’t be judging who I’m helping and who I’m not helping, I should just be offering help if I can do it. It’s my duty.
On the other hand, I hate being accosted in that way especially when I’m with my child. The mama bear comes out trying to assess the threat of danger; in this case I had the weird feeling (the one Oprah tells you about.)
I have to tell you, down on your luck aggressive lady, stalking people in a parking lot and tapping on their car windows doesn’t make me feel safe. In this case, the path of least resistance was probably the appropriate one. Plus I got some good drama practice in for my next role: Great Big Phony.