Wednesday, January 16, 2008

On the position of "Winter"

Just like your awkward cousin at a BBQ, I have been making excuses for winter for several months now.

“Don’t you just love snow?” I’d say in the face of my co-workers’ glowers. “Sweater weather is the best!” I’d contend. “Don’t you love to be all cozy this time of year?” I’d insist.

I’ve also been in a spot we call denial: sometimes even wearing open toed shoes. Yes, open toed shoes. Am I crazy? Like a frozen fox! In fact, you can’t even get me to say one bad thing about snow even now. I still delight in every flake, from the fat flurries to the sparkling dry dust. I just made myself throw up a little at the alliteration in that last sentence, but you get the idea, I loves me the winter.

However, today my cock-eyed optimism ran straight into a little thing I like to call the teens and single digits (because that is what they are called.) I had to start contacting people:

“~J, did you know that it’s 14 degrees outside?”

Text message: “It’s 8 degrees. 8.”

“Jeffiner, it’s 3 degrees outside, I thought you should know.”

Instant message: It’s 3 degrees here with a high of 25 tomorrow.”

I mean, you go and defend a season: you tell all your friends that spring is predictable, that summer is boring with its heat and miserably bright sun, and then winter turns around and just goes arctic on your behind (alliteration avoided. Blast it.)

I fell in the parking lot trying to get to my car (ice is different from snow in my esteem.) I wasn’t even wearing heels, they were cute little flats. My teeth clattered about my mouth as I desperately pleaded with my car to warm up already! And yes, I am blaming my car instead of me and my decision to wear a skirt with no leg coverings. Don’t you know by now? You can’t blame fashion. I’m starting to blame winter.

It’s 2 degrees right now, people, 2 degrees.


Mrs. Dub said...

yeah, it's not a good thing when the forecasted temperature is below zero. such is life out here in chicago. as an avid winter hater, i just want to welcome you to our club, even if it's just to warm up for a second and return to the blistery arms of your cruel lover.

sarah k. said...

I have no love, nor patience for the cold. I curse it to high heaven. A pox on the cold and it's accompanying and equally deleterious shroud of gray.

I'm below average in the fashion area, but during winter, I'd rather look like a Sherpa than get cold feet.

compulsive writer said...

I haven't been warm since last Saturday.

Snow, I love.

Bone-chilling cold (I know, I am a wimp, this isn't, afterall, Minnesota, but it's still damn cold!), I HATE!

Rynell said...

I am so two faced in my love for winter. Snow? I love. Single digits? No love there.

The zipper of my daughter's heavy winter coat broke this morning as she left for school. It was seven degrees. 7.

~j. said...

Yesterday morning, li'l ~j. came downstairs dressed in a short-sleeved shirt and shorts. "Get back upstairs and put some real clothes on."


"Why? Because it's four degrees outside."

"Negative four?"

"Right. That would make a difference. Get upstairs."

Azúcar said...

Awww lil ~J is acting just like all of us who went to school here: pretend you're dressing for summer in the winter.
I still remember all of the girls trying to get away with denim minis, slip-sliding along the icy streets on the way to the bus stop. Maybe you really are supposed to be from P-R- to the Vo.

TOWR said...

I have always had a pro-summer agenda. I hate winter with every fiber of my being. I'd love a nice, sunny, green Christmas. Screw the snow.

This morning as I was getting ready in the dark, I thought back to the promise of spring--its early sunrises, its blue skies and budding warmth. Bring it on.

PS In my opinion snow and ice are just two sides of the same miserable coin. What do you think **causes** the ice? Melted snow--that's who!

fijiangirl said...

I have a love hate relationship with winter... love the colthes, love the beautiful snow and scenery. Hate feeling cold, but it is nice to sunggle up to the hubby in bed to get warm. Love that feeling!

sue-donym said...

I need light therapy.

Jennifer B. said...

Road trip!

Anyone want to meet at Disneyland?

c jane said...

I hear you, Frozen Fox!

P.S. Leg warmers.

Kalli Ko said...

p.s. ceej, sweatpants

it's the only way I'm surviving

and yes, I had to talk myself out of wearing them to work today

cg10 said...

This post is so good I've e-mailed my people about it.

"You can't blame fashion."

Amy said...

I spent the first 22 years of my life thinking that something was wrong with me because I felt cold the entire, entire winter. October through April, I was cold. Then I met a guy who introduced me to those expensive sub-zero coats at REI made for hard-core outdoor people. I've been warm ever since. Turns out I'd just never had the proper gear to deal with winter. I guess my winter fashion has become "tough outdoor chick." And anyhow, I married the guy.

Suzie Petunia said...

This is why sensible people move to the Northwest. Sweaters? yes. Bitterly cold temperatures? No... usually.

Emily said...

Praise the heavens my husband didn't get a job in Chicago.

b. said...

Geez, there's a cg10?
Is it really bad that I was giddy about Sissy G. being sick today so I could stay home. By the Fire. With her?

MoJo's Weekly Update said...

Welcome to my world.

Caroline said...

It's all relative. Because it was 75 degrees here today and I thought I was gonna die. From the cold. yes, I'm totally serious.

Azúcar said...

Caroline- If it was 75 degrees here, I would be still be complaining. I just need a little moderation!

Mojo & Mrs. Dub- I am so sorry for your Chicago. If it makes you feel better to commiserate, the wind chill is making it seem like 20-30 degrees below zero (or so said Channel 2.)

Sarah- I know, it's where we part ways. Oh well, a little difference in our opinions never killed a friendship, right?

CW & Rynell - I'm so glad you get the pro-snow and anti-cold vibe.

Fiji- did you miss the cold while you were lounging in Fiji?

TOWR- snow=ice? That's just crazy talk!

Azúcar said...

Suedo- Is that why you're blonde? Constantly self-light therapy? Makes sense.

Jennifer b - I am contractually obligated to tell you that I cannot make an appearance at Disneyland until La Yen is there to be my official tour guide and experience handler.

Cjane- would I wear Crocs with those legwarmers?

Kalli- I could probably wear sweats and no one at work would notice, but I would know, and it would burn a black hole in my heart.

CG10- Love would never do, do without you, baby (Janet, 1989.)

Amy- You married into the right family! They will guide you well in the proper application of outdoor gear; I trust them implicitly.

Azúcar said...

Suzie- The very last time I was in the Northwest, the biggest storm they'd seen in years hit: the power was out everywhere, even downtown Seattle, schools were canceled, the ferries weren't running, flights were delayed and canceled, it was crazy! So, maybe it's me?

Emily- It's not just luck, it's providence.

b- That sounds delightful. The less said about CG10 the better, though.

Emmie said...

Jennifer B. - It is with great sadness that I inform you that I actually went to Disneyland last night, and darn near froze to death. It was 48 degrees and the wind was blowing like crazy. Orange County is going through some sort of weather identity crisis, and I wish it would just get over it already.

Brooke said...

i love the snow as well. but i've fallen TWICE this season-- both times witnessed and laughed at by my children.

Bek said...

Time to rub it in. Yes, we might pay $3,054,234,234 per square inch for housing but today, I put on a long sleeve shirt on the way out the door and by noon was bummed because it felt a little bit hot.

The jasmine is starting to bloom, the magnolia blossoms are in full force, the grass is great and the smell of spring is in the air. It will all be brown and yucky by March, but I LOVE January in SF. It is the best month....

P.S. Being in Utah during December might have tipped the scales for me. Can I move back to all the snow/work? New wardrobe? It took me so long to get my kids dressed... hmmmm

Emily said...

a. sorry you fell in the parking lot. no fun.
b. remember that after the bleak winter there waits a BEAUTIFUL spring.
c. can't even tell you how fun it was to come back from vacation and catch up on three weeks worth of the Jet Set. You dazzle.

mrs. r said...

still laughing over the 'frozen fox' reference. still.

i boo winter when ever i see it. i start an anti-winter revolution by hanging out in my underwear all day when it is snowing outside. that will teach her! (and yes, winter must be a woman man has the fury that is winter--pretty to look at, but a real B when you get to know her. that's a chick thing).

my husband deals with it by living in denial. flip flops all year. no exceptions.

...and still laughing.

b. said...

Jamie Summers??? Is that YOU?????

annette said...

Ahhh, someone who gets me. Yes to Winter! LOVE the snow, the white, the quiet, the sunlight streaming through my big, beautiful Fam.Rm. windows, sledding downhill, hot chocolate, cozy socks...mmm But temps. below 20 are unacceptable.

Karyn said...

It is -2 degrees in Chicago tonight and with windchill it is -20 degrees. The wheels on the stroller froze. Brrrr. I love winter weather in November and December, but by January I am so over it. Can't wait for spring.

Lindsey said...

Brrr....that's cold.

compulsive writer said...

It broke 40 today (briefly). I thought of you.

mrs. r said...

b. --

it is me.


lindsay wagner
(aka jaime sommers.)