jetsetgreen

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Testify!



It’s great to be a boy. I’m not a boy, but I live with some, and I’m here to tell you, it is all it’s cracked up to be.

For instance, if you are a boy, and your aunt has a birthday, what do you get her?

A plastic snake wrapped up in a box.

Naturally.

I didn’t know that boys liked to talk on the phone. I didn’t know they even knew how to use the phone. I found out that El Guille knows how to use the phone when I woke up to the phone being jammed into my face the other day. “Nana wants to talk to you!” El Guille said happily. Wait, he answered the phone? He answers phones now? How many people has he been talking to?

“Err, Hello?” I said.

“What are you doing?” My mom said.

“Uhm, I’m in the bathroom,” I don’t know why, but somehow, I think I will be in trouble with my mom if she catches me in bed, still sleeping, past 7:30 in the morning. Chalk it up to knee-jerk teenage reaction.

For the record: I am a full grown adult with children of my own and I am still scared of my mother.

“Oh, that’s not what El Guille said,” La Professora said coolly, “He said you’re asleep.”

“Well, ahem, I’m not.”

If any of you think it would be funny to start calling my house to have a conversation with El Guille without my knowledge, it won’t be funny, not at all.

The other thing you should know is that boys are endlessly physical. The running, jumping, yelling, flying leaps off the top of the piano (“Mama, that hurt!”) it just never stops. Well, it sometimes stops, like when a boy runs full force into the corner of a wall and leaving a straight line indentation down his forehead; a curiously split goose-egg. I used to think, “They’re bouncing off the walls!” was just a cute expression until you watch the boys literally bounce off the walls, like little electrons. Sometimes I wonder if we have a particle accelerator in our house.

If it’s not one thing, it’s another, and there really is another thing…

Happy walking, Baby Proximo.

20 comments:

Likely said...

I adore boys in all their bouncy, snakey, curious splendor.

compulsive writer said...

What likely said.

And sometimes you get girls with just as much bouncy, snakey, curious, chicken feet in them as any boy and you're sort of relieved because you get that so much better than Barbie.

wendysue said...

A walking Proximo. . .perhaps a partner in crime now?

Love your boys and their stories!!

fijiangirl said...

Wow! double trouble with Proximo walking. I am with you boys are fab. I especially love their sneeky laugh and something totally silly.

The MomBabe said...

You hit the nail on the head. I personally like it when they ram into the wall and the wall gets hurt, not them.

Karyn said...

Good thing goose eggs heal without scars... most of the time. Good luck with the walking baby.
I have two girls, so I enjoy your boy stories... boys are so different...or girls are....hmmm.

Rynell said...

Walking Proximo is so adorable.

I can also testify that the momentum doesn't stop until someone smashes hard into a large, inanimate object or breaks a bone.

lisa v. clark said...

Boys DO bounce off the wall, and I'll never, ever understand why.

And what's with the throwing of things? Boys like to throw things.

Proximo is a doll!

more caffeine, please said...

And what's with having to wrestle everyone and everything? There's a constant wrestling match in my house with my husband egging it on and the dogs participating. Super fun when I'm on the phone. I grew up with all brothers no sisters. My next (and last) better be a girl.

i i eee said...

Testify!

Yay for the walking Proximo!

Um, I totally do that when I'm in bed and my parents call. I have to make sure my voice sounds all cheerful and awake, even though I'm totally grogg.

Reb said...

My kid answered the door when I was taking a bath. Luckily, it was a neighbor who called out my name when she entered the house. I yelled to her that I was in the bath and she understood what had happened.

April said...

Why are your pictures so dark? I can't see the cuteness!!!

Little Proximo is walking already? But. But. He was just born!!

Azúcar said...

Good Q, April. I have some pictures taken with a flash, but I don't like the way they look, I kind of like these. After all, these were snapped late at night, just the two of us, and they look like it too. Also, I have a crappy entry-level digital, not a fancy SLR. I do admit to tweaking the bottom picture and giving it a little motion blur for fun.

Reb- Thanks for the delicious bread, it made for the best dinner the other night. You know how to treat a girl.

MCP- the wrestling! So funny! Other Half and El Guille will half-wrestle. The baby wil toddle over and kind of lay himself on top of the pile--cracks me up.

The loud beeping does not crack me up.

LVC- YES, the throwing! NOTHING is safe!

Rynell, no broken bones yet, just stitches.

Mombabe- It's true, my house, my poor house.

c jane said...

"like little electrons" I like the sound of that.

"It is all that it's cracked up to be" I like that too.

Emily said...

Having one little boy has created this huge, squishy spot in my heart for little boys the world over. Mmmm! Love 'em! Love 'em!

'Specially mine.

martha corinna said...

You get an amen from me. I have to say though, that my 4 year old must be a boy trapped in a girl's body. I often find myself telling people "no, you don't understand, she literally bounces off of walls". Every time we go to the pediatrician I'm afraid she will see all the bruises (which accompany wall bouncing) and turn me in for abuse.

Olivia said...

My fave thing about the boys in my family is the unspoken pact they all seem to have made with the devil at birth: without fail, they always sustained their most heinous injuries right before school picture day, thus creating a pattern in the picture wall at my house that implies that my mom showed her animosity toward her female spawn by giving them home haircuts and her hatred for her male offspring by beating the living daylights out of them.

Katie said...

Love this post! I have three boys... and you are right... they do bounce off the walls and I have lots of holes and marks on my walls from them running into them. They are a joy... and to have a girl after three boys... now that is the icing on the cake!

MoJo's Weekly Update said...

Asher has been trying to walk in the past month. He stands up next to anything he can grab. No beuno.

Natalie said...

I haven't had the joy of a son yet, but it sounds like an adventure!