Oh friends! Oh countrymen! I am so loopy right now!
I have been awake now for 38 hours. Well, not entirely true, I did sleep for 1.5 hours (but not consecutively.) My best friend had her baby! Although I missed the big arrival because baby decided to come 30 minutes after I left! Yes, when I am this sleep deprived there are ! a lot! of exclamation points!! It’s like the happy police came to town. Yeah, I know that makes no sense, just go with it. (!)
Is there anything quite so cool as to be invited to someone’s birth day? OK, I know Other Half is making a face right now as birth days of any sort freak him out, no matter the participants. The granola in me reveled in the company of women, like we were hearkening back to yesteryear in the tent with the midwife. This is where my best friend would roll her eyes and say, “Dude, seriously? I had an epidural, quit with the granola crap.” She’d probably be right.
On my white-knuckle drive home (hour 22) I had a chance to watch the sun rise over the mountains. It looked cool. What, you want adjectives? Sorry, the adjectives were the first to be lost in the language-tangle of sleeplessness.
Other Half and I exchanged a quick peck as he went out the door as I came in. “What are you going to do? I’m worried,” he asked.
“I don’t know, it’s not like the rest of the day can stop, I still have a lot to do.”
I crashed. 30 minutes later my phone rang. My best friend called me to tell me that baby had his birth day. I, in my sleeping stupor said something like, “Yeah, that’s great, uhm, can I talk to you later, bye.” Seriously, self? Your friend calls to celebrate the new life that you, too, have been waiting on pins and needles to arrive and all you can say is “Uhm, can I talk to you later?” Smooth move.
I managed not to kill myself or the kids on the way to school and work. Yay me. I almost called in for the day off, but I had a Very Important Meeting in the afternoon.
I must explain that my job is not a mentally coasting job. I really have to think, and think hard. There are technical elements that are sometimes new to me and extensive requirements for documentation. Neither of those components is compatible with 30 hours of wakefulness. However, we have so much work to do, I could not afford to take the time out. I was taking notes in my meeting by hand after my laptop’s battery died. I was so tired I was writing down words that had nothing to do with the product we were discussing. I wrote the word “Bush” and have no idea why. The word in front of it was unintelligible, so nothing to be gained by context. I didn’t even know why I was writing "Bush" while I was forming the letters with my pen. “Why did I write that?” I said to myself, “That’s so weird. Did I mean the president?” Lesson to self: you simply cannot maintain mental acuity at 32 hours post sleep.
At hour 35 I found yet another uhm, I’ve lost the word I wanted. Let me try this again.
At hour 35, I got my seventh wind! I presented a skin care mini workshop to a youth church group. Oh, I was so funny! You should have heard my jokes, my anecdotes, my ‘relating’ to them through embarrassing things my mom did to me (oh so many!) When one girl asked, "What's a capillary?" I got up into her face, opened my eyes wide, and looked to the side to expose my bloodshot peepers. "See? Those are capillaries!" I said triumphantly.
They loved it! I loved them! And they loved me!
It’s possible after casting aside the prism of mania that I was not nearly as entertaining as I thought I was. Yet another argument for why I shall never take the stage.
And now, now I can go to bed. Hour 38 is almost over.
Well, let’s not be hasty, do I hear hour 40? Hour 48?