Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Just Call Him Aaron Burr

Other Half called me at work from the side of the road, “I can’t drive my car. It started shuddering, so I pulled over and now the wheel won’t turn.”

I looked up the garage online and called to have a tow truck sent to pick up the car.

This, apparently, was hilarious.

“You wear the pants, you totally wear the pants,” My boss, TT, laughed.

“No, if anything we wear them equally and sometimes he wears them more than me,” I said.

“There’s no way I would call my wife if my car broke down, but she would call me!” he insisted.

“It just makes sense that he would call me,” I said, “I’m the one in front of the computer to look up the number. Besides, you know he’s not a car guy, what’s he going to do? Get out and look?”

“But would your first call be to him if you were stranded?” he insisted.

“Depends, if it was in the middle of the school day? I couldn’t call, he’d be in class, I’d call a friend,” I said, thinking I was being most logical.

TT howled.

For the next two hours he conducted an informal survey.

“Hey,” he’d ask every one who stepped into our office, “If your car broke down on the road, who would you call first?”

“But would you call your wife?” he’d respond to any answer.

I still think it made sense; I’m the one with the computer.

The next day the garage called to tell us the problem was fixed (two new front brakes.) TT said, “Hey, I bet Other Half would fall for the old ‘headlamp fluid’ joke.”

“He’s not going to fall for it.”

“Yes he will, he called you from the side of the road.”

“First of all, again, it makes sense; I was the one next to the computer. Second, he’s not an idiot: he doesn’t know a lot about cars, but he’s never had a problem with his car because his ‘headlamp fluid’ was low. Third, it’s a lamp, with electricity, why would there be fluid?”

“I bet you 10 dollars he will fall for it, and if you win, you don’t owe me anything.”

“DEAL,” I said, squarely and dialed Other Half.

“Hey, honey, the garage said that the car is done. They also mentioned that they’d top off our headlight fluid for and extra 10 bucks if we wanted them too.”

“What? They’d top off what?”

“The headlight fluid.”

“Uh, there’s no such thing as headlight fluid.”

“There isn’t?”

“No, first of all it’s a light, and second…look, there’s just no such thing as headlight fluid.”

I stifled a giggle.

“OK, well then, I’ll tell them we don’t want it.”

“Uh, good.”

And that’s when I made TT fork over the 10 bones.

Right after that is when I found a safety pin and pinned the Hamilton to my shirt. I needed to make sure that people would ask me why I had 10 bucks on my shirt so I could explain to them how I took TT’s money.

How should I spend those greenbacks?


~j. said...

You could but some new specs for the rotary girder on your car.

compulsive writer said...

I truly have no idea, but whatever it is you should relish every last penny's worth.

Melody said...

Thanks for the laughs! I love the way you write. Ten bucks . ..take other half to a matinee, celebrate your victory together.

sue-donym said...

I had complete faith in Other Half. I just can't believe you let him think that YOU thought it, even for a moment.

I say frame the 10 spot.

Ryan and Susie said...

Spend the $10 on on of these for his car.

I'm sure he'll love it!

This would be on my list of things I don't get.

Marilyn said...

You tell the funniest stories. Seriously.

Laquina said...

I told Ricky last night I think I wear the pants and he said..."yeah, but I wear the shirts". I didn't really get it but I still thought it was funny. Perhaps you are just the support hose under the pants making everything smooth?

Sue said...



Rynell said...

Tee hee!

My husband calls me if I am near a computer. I call him if I get stuck and he is near the computer. It works for us.

pflower10 said...

Did you tell other half about this?

Azúcar said...

Yes, as soon as he picked me up to run down to the car place, I explained to him how I came by my new found wealth.
He shook his head as I told the story and then said, "Boy, I'm so relieved. I was gearing up to have a conversation with you about how we needed to change garages."


"Yeah, how if they purposefully mislead you just because you are a woman I was going to have a problem with that. We can't have a garage that tries to pull that kind of crap."

We both had a laugh.

Karyn said...

A pair of pants for each of you (you would have to get the at the thrift store I think) or just one to share.

sarah k. said...

Derek would totally call me if the car broke down. He loves me and respects me and wants to keep me in the loop. Tell those hosers at works they don't know nothin' about love.

I absolutely love it that he was considering switching garages.

Spend money on Hatch Family Chocolates.

April said...

~j--Anyone who quotes dear ol' Chris Farley is awesome in my book.

My sister fooled her friend's dad by saying she thought his blinker fluid was getting low. She even listened as he called a garage to inquire about getting replacement fluid and then his subsequent sputtering rage when the garage guys started laughing at him.

Once when Kristen and I couldn't figure out how to put on new windshield wipers out in a store parking lot, we asked a couple of guys walking past if they could help. The guy *not* helping asked if we'd checked the blinker fluid, too. I just stared him down with my library "I'm not taking your crap" face. For the record, the guy who *did* change the wipers had a tough time doing it, too. So we felt justified.

Geo said...

One of the points I love best about this story is that you are so "in the moment" that you aren't worried about losing face when you stick with your story with OH. You are the reigning queen of pokerface!

thedoodlegirl said...

SO funny. You guys make a great team! (This is the girl you VT, btw)

reva said...

What a smart husband you have! FOr a second, I was trying to figure out if you were pulling my leg about pulling my leg about headlight fluid:) Thanks for always making my day with your hilllllarious posts!!

Marie said...

It's always a joy to take money from idiots; especially cocky idiots. Way to go Azucar and Mr. Azucar -- you're quite the automotive team. I say spend it on victory fluid: Maggie Moo's dark chocolate shakes. Mmmmm.

annette said...

It just goes to show how awesome you are and that your husband knows you're not "just a pretty face". Seriously. What percentage of the women out there wouldn't have had a clue on what to do, do you think? For that reason, you can't blame your co-worker for being surprised. What he should have been was impressed. I say you spend some of that $ on some humble pie for him!