jetsetgreen

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Preparations

Some of you might tease me (rightly) about my degree, but, sometimes it comes in handy.

I know.


However, nothing prepared me for pumpkin-headed Andrew Lloyd Webber mentioning tonight on American Idol that little David Archuleta should open his eyes when he sings.

"Open your eyes! Open your eyes!" Sir Andy commanded David, "The eyes have it, that's why people say that."

Aye, that's why the people say that, Lloyd.

I was equally unprepared when Ryan Seacrest used 'parenthetical' correctly and without stumbling over all those syllables. Ryan knows the word parenthetical? This shakes my entire world view. If he starts busting out 'renumerate' or 'physiological' I'll have to conclude that he's read, like, books. It's all very disconcerting.

All that being said, the historical evidence having been weighed, Other Half and I concluded that The Phantom of the Opera is SO over; it was over at least 15 years ago. How is it possible that musical is still hanging on, like a chandelier by a thread?
We don't understand why we keep hearing that indulgent opus of saccharine sentimentality. If we ever hear another strain of Phantom's bloated music, you can count on your piano being disassembled for both driftwood and sharpened stakes (Michael Crawford, one of those stakes has your name on it.) We already demolished the D.T. dorms for crimes committed in the name of Webber, don't make us come after you.

18 comments:

Mrs. Dub said...

I don't watch American Idol (so I can't abbreviate it to AI like you fans do) ... but I do know that Phantom of the Opera is so 15 years ago. He might as well have worn a mask and stonewashed jeans.

sarah k. said...

There's no excuse for Phantom of the Opera. There never was. My MIL tried to make me watch the movie version, and I just don't have the kind of will power required to suppress the gag reflex.

La Yen said...

The eyes have it.
And Phantom is a Moo Point.

Karen said...

I don't have a history degree, but I see what you mean.

Side note, my daughter is getting her degree in history. She loves history.

fijiangirl said...

"A Moo Point" had me cracking up La Yen. It is like a cow, it doesn't matter. Thanks for the "Friendly" reminder.

I only saw the last 2 songs last night wasn't impressed with either song.

Likely said...

expand on the DT demolition/Webber reference....

AzĂșcar said...

If you spent any time at the university dorms, you will remember the pianos scattered around for practice. There is no question that those pianos have played more than their fair share of every Broadway show tune ever composed. Those pianos have heard Phantom, Les Miserables, and probably Wicked so often, those pianos begged for mercy.

That's why those buildings were demolished; it was a humane act--they were ready to be put out of their misery.

The Bakers said...

Amen to Phantom oldness. And staking Michael Crawford. And poor dorms...I had many a good memory in those dorms that didn't involve pianos, but mastering pool with which ever boy I happened to be "dating" at the time.

This is me said...

People make fun of my History degree, too and yet they always want me on THEIR Trivial Pursuit team.

I'm just sayin'...

AzĂșcar said...

This is me-- huh, it seems I have experienced the same phenomenon.

reva said...

Okay, I .... oh wait... OHHHH. I know this is dumb, but I was going to write to you and ask about the picture and the "I know" because I didn't get it - and then I realized you have a history degree and THEN I got it. Berlin. Heh. Now I feel all superior.

Fig said...

I am the lone dissenter. Phantom will never get old for me.

Commence stoning.

I want you on my Trivial Pursuit team.

Rynell said...

I must live in a bubble. No Phantom at my house. No American Idol.

Whitney said...

Amen. But don't you think a all American idol cast could really bring that back to life. Bo Bice as the phantom would really be hot, and fantasia, that chick could sing the phone book, as they say.

Marie said...

When those Brits accuse me of being a vulgar American, I've got Andy as Bullet #1. Ick. 'Twas fun when I was 14, and I think adolescence is the only excuse :)

I lived in Heritage, but we also had the Dorm Pianist phenomenon. What bugged me most was the Yanni-esque arpeggioed versions of my beloved hymns. You're fooling no one, m'dears. That's the standard arrangement, only UGLY. I don't know if demolition is enough. I think some sort of musical exorcism might be in order.

Sue said...

Phantom has always been one of my least favorite ALW musicals. Scratch that, Aspects of Love totally sucks. But Phantom has always perplexed me. Maybe because I don't like Michael Crawford.

That picture frightens me.

Nigel said...

It's too bad the Dalai Lama isn't a world-class athlete. We could put him on a U.S. team and rub it in China's face. "He's a reincarnated holy man, he's a political dissident, aaand HE STICKS THE LANDING!" says Bob Costas...

The Thomas Family said...

Hey-- I love your blog. I do read it quite often but don't have anything witty enough to feel comfortable commenting with everyone else!! Anyway, thanks for your comment on my blog about two kids kicking your trash... I loved it. I love honesty. That helps me.

And about Phantom... it's still around because when the movie came out people thought it was brand new. No one is cultured anymore.