jetsetgreen

Monday, December 22, 2008

I Surrender


I hit my zenith on Friday morning when I made the from-scratch candy cane cupcakes for El Guille's birthday at preschool. At 8:49, as the last candy cane slid into the cake, I gave up. No more.

It only took me two dozen months, but I'm joining Oh, Judy on her quest to lower the bar and be awesome.

This morning for breakfast the kids ate candy canes, some flat Sprite they found in the fridge, caramels, and dry Honey Nut Cheerios.

Instead of nutritious peeled apples, cheese crackers, or dried cranberries to buy their silence in church services, I doled out chocolate. You know what? They were just as bad as they always are, only WAY more quiet when I threatened to take the chocolates out of their mouths if they budged off the pew.

Yes, I even gave the toddler chocolate. I felt a little pang of guilt as I crammed a raspberry chocolate ball into his mouth, but sucking on that thing was the only thing that would shut him up. Don't get me started on the look the guy in front of me shoot us after Proximo made a resounding bang on the pew in front of us--with his head.

In full knowledge that my mother-in-law was coming to my house, I only cleaned the front half. I did not touch my bedroom. Well, that's not true, I made it worse by shoving all the things I couldn't figure out where to put from the kitchen/living into the bedroom. I even let the mother-in-law take us to Olive Garden and I didn't make a peep (about the wretched breadsticks, boring salad, or mushy pasta.) No, I gave up. Go ahead, let's order the "lasagna."

I bought a whole bunch of presents for friends that are not going to get mailed out before Christmas. Hey, they're purchased, they're just sitting on a shelf waiting until I get past this week of madness.

The tree. I quit.

I pasted a piece of paper to a card instead of hand-lettering it. I bet no one will notice. OK, let me change that, I bet everyone will notice, but they won't care.

So instead of getting working up and in a total panic because I have in-laws in town, sister's birthday, El Guille's birthday, work, wedding, sewing my dress, a hand-painted fondant wedding cake complete with spun sugar nest, flowers, presents to wrap, Christmas to pull off, and a household to keep running, I am raising the white flag.

And taking a deep breath...

20 comments:

i i eee said...

I am so going to make that my mantra -- lower the bar and be awesome.

With all you have to do, I don't see how your brain hasn't exploded yet.

Kids need their chocolate fix too.

La Yen said...

I am proud of you.

wendysue said...

I would love to take a deep breath, and shove one of those candy cane cupcakes in my mouth.

Hang on. . .

b. said...

Those cupcakes look awesome!
You do know you're still amazing, right?

Hang in there...

Geo said...

Don't call it a white flag. Call it The Title of Liberty.

Kalli Ko said...

that list makes me want to take a nap

fa la la la laaaaa

Lisa said...

I'm glad my lowering the bar can inspire you to do the same. Just because we can do it all doesn't mean we should. Keep in mind your "lowering the bar" is super high achieving to 99% of the population. Happy Christmas!

sue-donym said...

That's my girl.

undefined said...

Yes! Let's all lower the bar and be awesome.

But if you lowering the bar means "in-laws in town, sister's birthday, El Guille's birthday, work, wedding, sewing my dress," etc, etc, well ... you've still got me beat!

Kacy said...

What's a "peeled apple"?

martha corinna said...

I'm glad you said it about Olive Garden, I've had to keep quite for too long.
Can I borrow your white flage?

Jenny said...

Too bad your surrendering still rocks most people on their best days. I think my kids are a little older than yours, but we recently upgraded to a treat after the sacrament instead of feeding them crap all through the meeting. Works tons better.

FoxyJ said...

I've been feeding my kids chocolate and butter cookies all morning--they asked and I'm tired of saying "no". We'll go back on our diets after our Kings Day party. Those cupcakes look awesome.

Stephanie N. said...

i've been "being awesome" (by lowering the bar) for a very long time.


welcome to the party! congratulations! you go girl! and other feminine affirmations.

ps. but you still sound too busy. consider futher lowering the bar...

morganmoore said...

Why you gotta be hatin' on a place we affectionately (yes, affectionately) call the O.G. Really?? Boring Salad? What are you smoking over there??...hippie lettuce?

Does your hectic schedule mean you will not be able to make any room in your life for me when I come up next week? I can't believe I'm even asking!

Reluctant Nomad said...

"I'm joining Oh, Judy on her quest to lower the bar and be awesome."

Welcome Welcome. And may I say that you're TOTALLY awesome.

Laura said...

Amen to lowering the bar! My kids had Root Beer floats for dinner yesterday. I was just so tired!

Emily said...

I want to hear about the wedding. And these comments made me feel a kinship to your readers.

Rory said...

Before you lower the bar completely (and welcome to the club by the way- you're welcome- there's plenty of room for all of us) could you post the recipe for that icing? Because after 21 years of marriage, 4 kids, etc.etc. I've discovered that you can use a box cake mix no problem-as long as you have good icing...

Rory said...

And by the way, I'm not really Rory...I'm just too lazy to fix the name...