Look! I am a published author!
Sure, this isn't the first book that I've been involved in, but it involves the best motives (unlike my last books which were publish for self-aggrandizement, and also grades.)
Forty-two of my closest friends and I have each donated an essay for the book Something Cleverish, from which all proceeds will benefit the Stephanie and Christian Nielson Recovery Fund.
So go buy it. Consumerism and selfless giving, what could be better!?
(And don't say a fur coat because this isn't a negotiation.)