jetsetgreen

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Few Suggestions For The Easily Scared

Yesterday I terrified my baby.

No, I didn’t dress up as an aggressive Tooth Fairy, or turn on the blender, I did yoga. You should have seen the display that ensued. He sobbed with terror when I down-dogged. He hit me and tried to pull my hair when I up-dogged. He sat himself on the mat, reclined and refused to move. I’ve honestly never see anything like it..

I’m thinking I should show Proximo what it means to be really scared.

For example, we could watch the 28 Days Later running zombie movie in Park City at a midnight show, have to drive down the deserted canyon at 2am, and then have to sprint across the parking lot to get into the house while you can hear the zombies barreling to get you.

Instead of reading about fuzzy barnyard animals for a bedtime story we could read Treasure Box and become too terrified to sleep in case there was a succubus about the house.

We could go see the original The Eye in Cantonese and then every time we got up in the middle of the night we could see an ancient Chinese man hanging from the ceiling in the bathroom with the side of his head bashed in.


I could make him watch Rock of Love 3.

I mean come on, get a little perspective!

26 comments:

Kerry said...

My babies see me doing yoga and they start jumping on me while laughing hysterically. Apparently, nothing is funnier than landing on my stomach as I try to zen out.

kiki said...

Or The Grudge with the wet, dead Japanese lady who forms from shadows and hangs out on the ceiling and in your closets. Or the dead Japanese boy who stands beside your bed and makes noises like an angry cat but sometimes just says, "Toshio!" cuz that's his name.

ClistyB said...

I only know one of those shows you speak of. Pretty sure I don't even have to tell you which one it is.

amelia said...

I totally scare easily...and your first suggestions gave me the chills. The last, THERE'S A ROCK OF LOVE 3?! I have been missing out!

dalene said...

I also recommend having someone call you at 2 a.m. while you are babysitting five kids that don't belong to you overnight and ask you if you've checked the children.

Dang. That happened almost 30 years ago after the original movie but I still just totally creeped myself out.

sarah k. said...

I double-down-dog-dare you to do any one of those things.

Fig said...

Scared ... of yoga? That's bizarre.

He could watch "What Lies Beneath" in the middle of the night when he's home alone and then have to go into the bathroom to wash his face while imagining dead people in the bathtub. Of course, that really works best if you're a 17-year-old girl.

I may have said this before, but it's one of my proudest moments - Dizzle and I watched "28 Days Later" on our first date. He knew I was The One when I suggested it. (Still our favorite scary movie!)

ScrapBox Organization & Storage said...

Oh, I've got one to top all of those. You missed Enrichment last night where there was a gym full of us trying to do some yoga. That was truly frightening.

Azúcar said...

I tried to make it, but then I fell deathly ill. Also, didn't want to be scared.

Brooke said...

if the yoga was full of toots, then i agree: scary!

Sue said...

We let our kids watch the first Narnia last week. They had nightmares for four straight days.

Ultimate wussy champions.

KT said...

I get scared when I do yoga. All that stretching and firming scares the crap out of me.

Kalli Ko said...

narnia was terrifying, the scene in the forest before the battle where the ice queen and the minotaur look at each other all lustfully... made me quake with fear, or nausea.

UM

bret michaels scares me to death, or at least whatever's under his headband does

Marianne & Clayton said...

Ha ha ha- kids are so random with what they choose to freak out about. And I scare myself- I pretend to hate R.O.L.3 for so many reasons, moral and just plain ol' good taste being two of them. However I end up watching it whenever I flip past it. I am fascinated by the filthy whores and wonder where on earth they must shop. And do they keep from throwing up each time he comes near them?

Melanie J said...

Rock of Love 3? Yeah, the commercials alone have scarred me.

livelaughlove said...

I have to agree, Yoga + enrichment night = frightening.

The best thing about rock of love are the skits on SNL.

Anna Macfarlane said...

I found your MCM site via Google and I want MORE! Like, where in Utah do you buy MCM furniture. I am still kicking myself for not buying a couch for $300 last summer.

And, ironically, Rock of Love is most entertaining WHILE doing yoga. Totally (%#$%^&ing) zen!

Shelby Lou said...

i laught out loud just now at the rock of love comment.

Sister Pottymouth said...

Yoga is frightening. I tried it myself. Once. When I was pregnant. Never again.

wendysue said...

How about instead of 1,2, buckle your shoe you sing the favorite. . "1,2, Freddy's after you. . .3,4, better lock the door, 5,6, get your crucifix, 7,8, gonna stay up late. . ."

{natalie} said...

rock of love reminds me to be grateful i'm not a tramp.

April ~ Living the Sweet Life said...

That is too funny. My kids are old enough now to know what I am doing when I twist and turn in my yoga poses but funny thing this past week my cat watched me the entire time with a concerned look on his face. Maybe it was the breathing that scared him who knows.

Holly said...

my daughter gets scared of the lint between her toes. they should play together.

Olivia said...

i tried to explain rock of love to someone the other day and they didn't even know who bret michaels was and i thought is there anyone out there who understands me and then i came here and found you and was so relieved. thanks, carina.

Melody said...

I'm scared because I just found out Azucar means sugar in Spanish and my son speaks it fluently and of all the words I know in Spanish I still didn't know that one and now I'm scared to admit it. Good luck with the terrified Yoga baby. Keep up the Yoga, baby!

Future Mama said...

Hahaha!! That is so funny!! My dog likes to come and lick my face when I'm trying to do yoga! Why won't our kids just let us get stuff done?!