jetsetgreen

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm a Loner, Dottie

I felt so rebellious today, like I could do anything.

For instance, I wore open-toed heels on this day (which is in February.) I took a chance on a sandwich for lunch that had Prosciutto di San Daniele instead of Prosciutto di Parma (bold, I know.) There was the text message I sent to cjane knowing full well that she would not text me back, OK, two text messages thrust into the ether in complete defiance.

My ultimate rebellion came in the most unlikely place: Costco. There I was, listening to Okkervil River and pushing a cart that would fit Wisconsin, heading rapidly with the rest of the bourgeoisie towards the salmon bin. An idea so reckless, so crazy came to me, and I could not stop it. Before anyone could see, I made a break for the bread aisle and stuffed two loaves of pure white bread into my cart.

I broke into a sweat.

White bread; it breaks all the rules. I almost felt guilty walking to the checkout lines. What if someone looked inside my cart? I mean it is white bread; it’s diabetes in a plastic sleeve! A shiver came over me as I realized the potential long term consequences: children refusing future purchases of wheat bread, friends noticing the i-give-up staff of life on the counter, the death of a nutritionist that always results when white is chosen over wheat, the responsibility was almost too much to bear.

Not a touch of barley, not a hint of whole grain, what was I thinking?

I don’t know if I’m cut out for wholesale rebellion.

29 comments:

Sue said...

We get the whole grain white. I kid myself into thinking it's close to healthy.

I love wheat bread and keep trying to get my children to eat it, but my husband is a terrible influence, what with the face making.

I was sad to miss lunch today. Was it fantastic?

wendysue said...

The whiter the bread, the sooner you're dead.

of course your okay, your alive said...

Awesome song. Even better live.

Likely said...

"Let's talk about your big butt"

Looks like you need to come over to our place for organic batting practice.

Likely said...

please tell me you get that quote... That's the best line from that scene. we DIED over that one as kids.

ClistyB said...

Ahhh, I still like Paul Reubens. Seen him on Reno 911?

I'm willing to bet it was Granny Sycamore's. Makes such a mean piece of toast!

sue-donym said...

Oh to be a fly in your cart yesterday!

b. said...

PeeWee's on Reno???

I knew I saw a look of defiance in your eyes as you walked out yesterday....I had no idea it would lead to THAT!

Rich said...

Hey Sis! You know a few months ago we had a nutritionist lecture us, and he said whole wheat bread was a hoax. Then I found this! Sourdough is actually the healthiest bread, with whole wheat coming dead last!

http://www.uoguelph.ca/news/2008/07/sourdough_bread.html

AzĂșcar said...

I felt so guilty that this morning the kids had banana, frozen blueberries, yogurt, and oatmeal smoothies. And their white bread toast.

AzĂșcar said...

Rich, that study is awesome!

sarah k. said...

Even the best bread snobs take some good crusty white over ww some of the time. There's no shame in knowing how to tell the difference, for each type has its place. I graduated from the all-ww-all-the-time camp a few years ago, and can fully enjoy white often, with no shame. Moderation?

There are things about me you couldn't know. Things you shouldn't know.

FoxyJ said...

I always feel guilt when loading up my cart with white bread instead of wheat, but I just don't like wheat all that much for a lot of things. Plus the extra fiber makes my little guy's diapers nearly impossible to clean up (no, wheat bran doesn't digest). Anyways, we're on white bread only until he's potty trained. And maybe after that I'll think of another excuse. We mostly eat other healthy things, so I' OK with the white bread.

Michelle said...

I kinda think you're a rebel every day. I've been meaning to get your advice on what to wear with my red patent leather heels... And Erik's glasses? As soon as I said my rude remark I hung my head in shame knowing "Carina would have seen their awesomeness at first glance." Truly girl, rub a little of you coolness of on me.

Kerry said...

I caught the rebellious bug today, too.

I wore a summer dress (in Feb!) with open toed shoes and no nylons. AND the dress is about one inch too short for the BYU honor code. And I wore it to work anyway.

!! ;-)

La Yen said...

Yes, there are thousands and thousands of uses for corn. All of which I am going to tell you about right now.

White bread tuna sandwiches are the heat.

hannah said...

You know...there is nothing better than good white bread.

Tiffany UnTwisted said...

Dude. I've lined the packages up side-by-side. There's really no difference.

Mrs. Organic said...

Sometimes a shot of pure insulin is just what the doctor ordered. So live a little and put some jam (and butter) on that toast.

April said...

"I've been ready since first call! ROLL!" (Haven't seen the movie in 10 years, but my mom still quotes that line. haha!)

A cart that could fit Wisconsin, eh? That's a lot of cheese.

Beeswax said...

When I see white bread I can't pass up, I just tell myself I need it for french toast. Challah or cheap texas toast are essential for french toast. Whether or not u actually USE the white bread for french toast, it relieves all guilty feelings in the checkout line.

Cafe Johnsonia said...

Wheat bread sits on the counter until it grows funky mold. (Or until I put it in the freezer because I just know we'll eat it eventually!)

White bread disappears in hours. We ate two full loaves in two days. I'm not telling you how many slices I ate. And yes, it was homemade.

(Word verfication *giggle*--sperm)

Bek said...

Carina,

You and I clearly have a different threshold on what is rebellion!! :-)

I love white bread, but I REALLY love the fresh wheat loaves they make at our Costco. They might not do them everywhere, but they are YUM (it is a smallish loaf of artesian type bread...) mmm.

My kids won't eat sandwiches and very little bread. What is WRONG with them?

Melanie J said...

The first thing I did when I went to BYU was hit the grocery store and buy white bread. I waved it in my mother's face defiantly. It was a good moment. Too bad I didn't like it.

My rebellion spiralled out of control from there.

c jane said...

I did not text back, but that was because I was buying white bread too. Is this an epidemic?

Geo said...

You live for danger.

Shawn said...

Been there, done it...a lot more than I'd care to admit.

But then I grew up having to bake 8 loaves of wheat bread a week for the family.


All I WANTED was some WHITE fluffy bread that stuck together and clung to the roof of your mouth.

It was heaven.

Susan Petersen said...

i have been stocking up on 'can't even pronounce half of these preservatives' frozen food for after the baby comes. we'll just make sure to bless the preservatives when we bless the food. Just say an extra blessing on the bread.

fotohok said...

shhhh, I did it too. I said I bought the loaf for my abuelita, but I lied. I was for me, and half of it's gone. It is like forbidden candy, waiting for me behind the counter of the Edgemont pharmacy. Sometimes I sneak away from my house and school and get some, then hide it from my mom.