jetsetgreen

Monday, February 02, 2009

The Most Interesting Things About Me Possible

Alright, so that was hyperbole (which I am given to) but here are some things about me that you absolutely must know:

1. I think I have writer’s block.

2. It feels like constipation.

3. I keep regular notes for when ideas come to me, as an insurance against The Block, and because I know that Janeane Garafalo, Jerry Seinfeld, and major literary authors also carry notes with them.

4. Perhaps milk of magnesia would work just as well.

5. I hate sleeping.

6. Sleep is boring and really unproductive. I want to figure out a way to never sleep and still function.

7. I like figuring out how things work.

8. This applies to not only simple mechanical objects, or systems, but all the sciences and the arts.

9. I’ve made a career in several fields by being able to facilitate communication between the social and the antisocial.

10. I love listening to people talk about what they do.

11. Comedian interviews are particular interesting; what makes something funny, what is the process, where are the edges?

12. I would be just as happy watching Conan O’Brien on the Actor’s Studio as reading about Schrödinger's Cat.

13. I often make allusions to obscure topics, not on purpose, but because I’m sure everyone else knows what I mean, too.

14. I’m continually surprised that they don’t.

15. Once, while teaching a lesson at my church, a woman asked me what the word 'pontificate' meant and I pretended like I didn’t hear her and kept going with the topic.

16. I belong to three book clubs and have been asked to join another one.

17. I’m afraid that my Other Half no longer thinks I’m ‘going to book club’ and believes it’s a cover for an affair—or worse.

18. Other Half does not read books, but this quiz is about me, so I will say that I’ve been accused by someone I live with as ‘always needing a plot’ when I read, which is ‘juvenile.’

19. I totally giggled when he said that.

20. People seriously do not understand our marriage, which is funny because it makes perfect sense to us.

21. One of my secret desires is to be a great matchmaker and I could not be further from that skill. I am terrible at setting people up, just awful.

22. I had absolutely no idea how much I would love being a mother, not a clue, and am amazed at how much I laugh.

23. I miss painting and drawing

24. Godiva chocolate is gross. No really, I don’t understand the big deal. I have been known to take a bite and throw the rest in the garbage. I am that picky about chocolate.

25. I would love to have people over every night of the week for late night talks over pie and warm drinks.

You’re invited.

33 comments:

Shirley said...

(Big smile)!

hannah said...

You are hilarious. I loved the list!

Lindsey said...

I have a tivo set for inside the actors studio... Did you watch the interview on Chris Rock? I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to go into labor! (I didn't).

dalene said...

I'll be over soon. Can I bring L~ again? She continues to need the influence of intelligent women because among her circles that is so under appreciated. It breaks my heart.

And in defense of Godiva, they're worlds better than Hershey's and can be very much appreciated when someone cares enough to mail you a box from out of state or bring it to you while you're in the hospital. They always bring back memories of Leonidas. My first Leonidas convinced me I did actually like chocolate, it was wax (American chocolate) I wasn't so fond of.

Azúcar said...

I'm asking for Leonidas for Valentine's.

Fig said...

I do #3 too, but I will never be able to relate to #s 5 and 6. Oh to be so ambitious.

Late night pie talks sound so delicious.

Emily said...

Could any of your book clubs use another person? It's time.

Shelby Lou said...

picky about chocolate... hmmm dove is my favorite...

Jenny said...

Three bookclubs? Wow. You are crazy. I would love to come for pie.

Carol-Lyn said...

You don't like sleep? I can't even identify with that.

Can I be in one of the book clubs?

Azúcar said...

Maybe I should start another book club with you kids. 'Sides, Lyn, I thought you guys already had a Trashy Book Club (which is the best kind.)

gurrbonzo said...

I'll be right there, in flip flops.

Kidding, kidding.

Sue said...

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COMMENT?! BOO, HISS!!!

Ahem.

I'm just wondering what the "or worse" in #17 could possibly refer to - armed robbery? Larceny? Counterfeiting? Do tell.

KT said...

Godiva chocolate IS gross! I'm glad someone finally said it out loud. I've always been silently disappointed, but have been too afraid to admit it because it's Godiva. And you know what else is gross? Paying $4 for ONE Godiva chocolate covered strawberry in Las Vegas. Gross AND dumb.

Queen Scarlett said...

It is probably not worth sticking out my neck for Godiva chocolate... but I love it. I make no apologies for loving it. I just received a luscious box of chocolates from Belgium and find them comparable.

This is after years of abstaining from American wax chocolate. So who knows. I prefer dark over milk chocolate any day.

I will admit that their Chocolixir dark chocolate and raspberry with caramel drink is better than eating chocolate.

I don't have a problem spending money on good food.

La Yen said...

Hey! My comment is gone, too! Is it that you hate Sue and me? Is it? IS IT?

Because I had a chocolate question. But now I won't ask you. Just to spiderface.

Azúcar said...

Like I'd ever delete a comment unless it was really over the line, and none of you qualify for that (yet.)

I hate when Blogger deletes comments, v.v. annoying.

So please, comment again with your reconstructed thoughts.

Tiffany UnTwisted said...

That's ok .. people don't understand our relationship either ... They wonder how a woman of your intelligence caliber can find associations with someone of mine :)

It's just cuz they don't get that knowing when to buy the right cut of pants is THEMOSTIMPORTANT quality in a BFF.

La Yen said...

I can't remember what it was. But I like you. And I understand your marriage. It works.

Marilyn said...

Love your list, and I hate writers block. I've finally convinced myself that if I can't figure out what to write, then don't write...I admit that in the past I have forced myself and it wasn't pretty.

Geo said...

Schrödinger's Cat has been taking up way too many of our lunch conversations lately. Really. I'm ready to be finished. I picture him as Bill the Cat.

You are fascinatin'. And your pie invitation is very tempting.

Shawn said...

I love to sleep...

That is the only time that I can truly dream and do what I want to---no holds barred. I can even fly, which I love to do more than anything.

Cool about your marriage. People don't get mine, either---as my hubby is quiet and grounded and I am loud, and flit from one thing to another.

Amy said...

This list made me like you more than I already did.

Azúcar said...

Shawn, that marriage sounds vaguely familiar...

Foo said...

The affair would be ok. Maybe some spring in your step would get this place cleaner.

The "or worse" would be if it was just so good that you had to blog about it because then I'd never have a clean shirt again.

- Other Half

Azúcar said...

If you're blogging...and I'm blogging...then who is doing the laundry?

ktb said...

I'd let you take a crack at #21 with me.

Heidi said...

I'm always surprised at how serious some actors are about being funny. I listened to an interview on NPR with Drew Carey. Talk about a killjoy.

wendy said...

Let me know when you want me over for pie and warm drinks and I'll send you my phone #.

Fig said...

I have to know! Cadbury mini eggs: good or bad chocolate?

I love them (best chocolate, I think), and will love them regardless of your answer - but I would feel so validated if you liked them too.

Patti said...

I can't believe I've found someone who feels the same way I do about Godiva chocolate.

They can have it...

amy said...

I am following you now based primarily on your opinions about breastfeeding and secondarily based on the fact that I, too, eschew the germ theory. I have no kids but if I did I would let them lick the parking lot just like my mom let me.

Nice to meet you.

jeri said...

Ditto on the 'people over every night'. I would love it. We keep trying to talk people into living with us so we can have 24-hour friends.