jetsetgreen

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Only This Time With More Feeling

It’s started happening again.

This morning as I was getting dressed (in my room, where my clothes are,) I heard something funny in the living room so I came out to investigate.

I found two boxes of Trivial Pursuit cards scattered with the remains of a large box of dominos, and an entire game of scrabble on the floor in a pile. And one Proximo (former Sweetest Baby on Earth [tm]) dancing and stomping on the rubble like he was Nero and Mexican Train was Rome.

I hate to even talk about this, but this baby might worse than the last one*; he’s certainly started earlier.

Proximo will find the red pen you thought you’d put away and decorate the coffee table. He will go into your purse, find the black pen, and color your gorgeous vintage robin’s egg blue velvet chair. The sheer amount of destruction he can cause is mind boggling. He’s my first cereal-with-milk-dumper, my first colorer on the walls, my first clock disassembler, and what’s worse is that he tries to charm me out of my disapproval. “PROXIMO!” I scream when catching him red-handed with the sippy cup lid in one hand, and empty cup in the other, and pouring juice on the carpet between his legs. He looks at me, tries to gauge my actual level of anger, and then does this slow grin (almost Grinch-like) to try to get me to soften my brow.
Oh ho, ho, ho, NO.

As delightful as his older brother, El Guille, has become in the wisdom of his sixth year, we were still reminded today that he is this far away from causing epic levels of havoc:
Other Half hands El Guille a cup with Disney characters on it.
El Guille: I don't like this cup.
Other Half (in Mickey voice): Hello El Guille! Drink my lemonade!
El Guille: Oh yeah? I'll drink your blood! Haha!

I have no idea.





*If you're new here, you might like to see this reference. Or this. Or this. Sigh.

18 comments:

megcampbellback said...

I feel for you. Our children have only just stopped demonstrating the chaos theory daily (spending every day returning all the universe to random order)... I still get anxious when other mothers let their children go to their bedrooms... by themselves... But technology is on my side. it's far harder to get a piece of toast into a dvd player...

hannah said...

I keep hearing stories like these from friends with boys. I think I should be scared for mine to get older....

Kalli Ko said...

it's like not only has he learned from the young padowan, but he has IMPROVED on those skills and more....

amelia said...

"I'll drink your blood" oh I am laughing so hard. If his destruction only came in the form of silly remarks...

emily said...

I haven't had a wall-colorer yet, but I feel sure it will happen at some point. My kid wreaks havoc by screaming at the top of his lungs ALL DAY LONG. Whether he's happy or sad. Some days I want to drink HIS blood.

Deb said...

It was wonderful meeting you too. You are such a delight.

Where do boys come up with this stuff? Taking apart clocks and drinking blood? Really??? May the force be with you.

kristenlibrarian said...

"I'll drink your blood." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That kid is AWESOME!

Marianne & Clayton said...

That last retort is freaking awesome. Aren't you a little proud? Oh and Magic Erasers from Mr. Clean work miracles. Good luck.

April said...

Let's make sure El Guille and Jersey never have a playdate. We would never recover.

Geo said...

Valium.

jennie w. said...

I have a rotten destroyer too. I can't tell you how many times a day I yell "Jas-PERRRR!!!" in a mean voice.

fotohok said...

yeah, they are both little destructercons. However, I'm pretty sure Proximo is a genius. The other day while we were on the playground he was reciting his numbers, and he got them right. I mean 1-10? In the right order? I'm not sure he knows what he's doing, but he's a sharp tack...pretty sure he takes after me.

fijiangirl said...

Of course the younger one is worse than his older brother... not only does he have someone to learn from but he has to improve on what his older brother did to make a better name for himself.

Rynell said...

El Guille has taught him well.

thedoodlegirl said...

kinda like my friend's older bro who, when he was young, wrote over a coloring book page with Santa on it: I HOPE YOU DIE, SANTA!

loove this post! too funny!

ScrapBox Organization & Storage said...

Don't let doodlegirl's kids around your kids. They're brilliant Santa killers.

You have heard the 56 holes in our wall story, haven't you?

Amy said...

My number 2 has just started creating chaos. For some reason I think it's charming this time around.

kiki said...

BWAHAHAHA!!! That El Guille and his sense of humor...

Um...I think I can feel my uterus shrivel a little bit more every time I read one of your "Adventures with El Guille and Proximo".