jetsetgreen

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I'm 32! Again!

As I close out another year of successfully existing on this planet, my thoughts turned to goals for the year ahead. I’m not normally all about goals. Sure, they’re great, and we’re always making goals, but what purpose do they really serve other than to upset you at a specific time that you yourself set in the future?

I read about this woman who started a blog chronicling her goal to read 50 books a year. Really? 50 a year? That doesn’t seem like a lot. I once read 5 books in 3 days when my TV was broken. Clearly, the solution was to make sure the TV was never broken again. During my years as a history major we were required to read about 3 books a week, sometimes far more. All I’m saying is that 50 seems to be a little slacker-ish as far as goals go. What’s that saying? If you aim for the stars sometimes you’ll reach the moon? Yes, that’s it. Why not promise you’re going to read 5,000 in one year? That’s only slightly more than 13 books a day. You could end up reading 11 books a day. Go for it!

I have decided to not see any Cuba Gooding Jr. movies this year. It will be hard (what if he releases Snow Dogs 3: Search for the Lost Tundra Paws of Gold?) but I think it will be worth it.

I will continue my one woman fight against the abominations that are harem pants. Trust me on this one: I have lived through one harem/genie/Hammer pant era and you will live to regret your foray into the puffy pant. Especially if you sew them yourself out of gold fabric.

I will cease my recent Woody Allen-esque preoccupation with the specter of my own death. No one appreciates a third of a life crisis, it's too silly to even contemplate.

I think I can stop getting choked up when I hear the strains of All Along the Watchtower and wondering what Gaius Baltar is up to lately.

There will be a no holds barred clean out of the closet and shoe box. I mean it. This time for real. Seriously.

This is the point of the piece where an author would normally review the goals of the previous year and hold them up to scrutiny. I guess not having made any birthday goals last year pays off in less writing this year. I love when past self helps future self like that, good work everyone.




Mysuestories had a great idea! (and Hi!)
How about a delurk day?


You wouldn't have to get me anything else, although I'm not turning down extravagent and inappropriate gifts of any sort.

61 comments:

MYSUESTORIES said...

Screw the goals! Happy Birthday!!
My goal? To be less of a lurker and more of a commenter...( Am I done now? )

dalene said...

Happy Birthday!

{natalie} said...

happy birthday! i think you are always stylish so you really don't need to worry about anything else. hope you have a great day!

martha corinna said...

Happy Birthday!

Your blog was my first (and currant) favorite stop for wit and humor.

Emily said...

You're making me click over from Reader and make a comment? So demanding! Happy birthday, Az. Thanks for being consistently clever and fun for all these years I've been reading you now!

Jean said...

Happy birthday! I'm delurking!
(I think. I might have commented on one of your posts before.)
I found you through Fig, the blog-quitter, and have been reading for several months now.

jennie w. said...

Happy birthday! Good luck on that closet thing. I've been meaning to clean mine for like two years now.

Cafe Johnsonia said...

Happy Birthday to my dear friend! I hope today is wonderful! XOXO

emily said...

After the plagiarism scandal, blogging has become much more difficult for me. You see, when I have time for blogging, I make drafts and schedule them to publish in the future. And I actually have a post about those harem pants, with that very picture, scheduled for Monday. I'm just sayin', I'm not a plagiarist, and I wanted to make it known before you think I'm a plagiaristic jerk. Oh, and happy birthday.

Julia said...

Delurking, sort of, to wish you a happy day. And now I'm going to go sit in a corner and be deeply disturbed over seeing those pants. They brought to mind the recent attempted comebacks of MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice, which has rocked my world in a not-so-pleasant way.

Chatty Natty said...

Happy Birthday! I entered the 32 era just yesterday and will glady join you in the harem pant fighting war! Simply awful and it can't be real...argh!

Azúcar said...

Emily, another soldier in the anti-Harem fight is always welcome. You too, Julia and Chatty Natty.

Hi!

hannah said...

Happy Birthday! I hope your day is fabulous!

Sean and Steph said...

Happy Happy Birthday :)

mary elizabeth said...

de-lurking to wish you a happy birthday! found you through cjane during the plagiarism scandel of '09!

and yes, these harem pants MUST. BE. STOPPED.

b. said...

Happy Birthday!

Melanie J said...

I was just getting over my BSG grief. Thanks for ripping that scab off. Why don't you cross making me cry off of your list of goals now?

A Few Tacos Shy... said...

May your day be happy, your year be productive and your swines avoid the flu.

-Alta

Rich said...

Sister-In-Law! Happy Birthday!

amelia said...

Happy birthday!

Chief Momma said...

Happy Birthday...I didn't know we were both April birthdays. Actually I probably did know that at one point when we had to stand in the breakroom together holding our cupcakes, but I've since forgotten. Hope you get to r-e-l-a-x on your birthday...doubtful with a job and two kids.

Adriel & Tierra Wakefield said...

I too found you through Fig. Delurking done.

Kalli Ko said...

harem/hammer pants are a travishamockery and an assault to the senses. hon.est.ly.

birthday wishes to you my friend, may your hair be bouncy and your heels extra high!!!

celebrate by baking me a cake alright? i'll even share some with you. because i'm that generous.

xoxo

um word verif is "pussesho" which i'm not even going to attempt to define because it is vulgar and not for the fainthearted.

Cyndi said...

Happy birthday and best of luck with those goals.

TheMoncurs said...

I just turned 24 on Sunday...I should have asked for delurking as my gift. Darn. Maybe next year.

Happy birthday!

K

sara said...

Happy birthday from another non-lurker as I have commented several times in the past. We may have even swapped emails at one point but I don't recall why. Your posts invariably make me smile; love your writing. If you make yourself a gourmet birthday cake, do post a picture of it please.

Sue said...

Happy Birthday, you!

Rynell said...

Happy Birthday!

(Every time I see your previous post's title, I shudder just a bit...)

Kerry said...

happy birthday!

but, geez. 50 books a year? I can't do that anymore. Now I have to have help.

JMadd said...

I found you through the cjane plagiarism broohaha and I think your blog is great, but I think harem pants are awful! Don't tell anyone, but I had to wear them for a roadshow in 1994. Shudder! But I guess it was OK because I was playing one of the harem girls. Is it even OK to have a harem be a part of a roadshow? Now that I think about it, it seems wrong on so many levels. Anyway, Happy Birthday. I turned 32 earlier this year and so far it's been pretty non-sucky.

topher clark said...

Happy Birthday, rockstar

Amy said...

Delurking to wish you the bestest birthday on the planet. Hey, I can make up words and bestest is a word that was a long time coming. It's time someone finally made it official. Have a great one.

the MomBabe said...

Happy Happy Birthday!

rabidrunner said...

"No more mister nice Gaius."

Happy Birthday. 33 is the best of the years. Sure of it.

Tiffani said...

I'll delurk to say Happy Birthday and thanks for the laughs. I think you're great even though I don't know you (but my brother-in-law The Sad Ninja does!) Have a great one!

kristib said...

$178 for WHITE harem pants? That's wrong in so many ways.

Have a happy birthday!

And good luck with the cleanout.

ClistyB said...

crud, I'm celebrating when I read 10 books a year.
Happy Birthday.
So, who bakes YOU a cake on your birthday?

Azúcar said...

Hi everyone! Welcome!

Clisty, good question.

I got a call yesterday from The Committee for Better Birthdays asking me what type of cake I wanted. They left a message and then called me back twice. I told the committee, comprised of my sister and my son, that I wanted a chocolate cake. We'll see what I get.

Aim said...

Happy Birthday, I am de-lurking too. At least on this site, I think I have commented on the MCM site. I hope you get that Chocolate cake!

PheMom said...

Happy Birthday! I just turned 32 on April 20th so I'm 10 days older if that makes you feel any better! Just heard about your blog from Quinn @ created by mom

This is me said...

Not de-lurking, I've commented before, but wanted to say Happy Birthday. I hit the big 3-1 on Sunday and was also a History major (the reading was ridiculous). So there's that for ya.

Your goals seem very ambitious so good luck with them!

Rachel said...

Happy Birthday!

I have commented before, but will likely continue to mostly lurk. Leaving the comforts of Google Reader is just too taxing to be done more often. Yes, I am that lazy. :(

La Yen said...

For your birthday I have brought many used items far across the plains. The plains of Mexico-lite.

Because I am generous. And cheap.

Amy said...

My niece calls them "Jasmine pants" and has declared that Disney princesses with pants are much better than the other princesses.

Now I must get back to my 5,000 books.

Bekah said...

Happy birthday! When my husband was a teenager, he developed a character dubbed "Marshmallow Man". He wore some hideous multicolored hammer pants with a coordinating hideous cape. Then he put a shoestring through two marshmallows and tied it around his head, placing the two mallows on his eyes.

This is my gift to you on your birthday. Oh, and my delurking, I guess. Enjoy!

kiki said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I feel like singing "2 LEGIT! 2 LEGIT 2 QUIT!"

kiki said...

Also, I'm a little creeped out by Bekah's mosaic portrait.

Shawn said...

Clean? What is that?

Have a great birthday!

Mrs. Organic said...

Sheesh, I step away from the internet for one day and you go and have a birthday on me.

Happy Birthday!

ray-ray says said...

Happy birthday!

Technically, it's now not your birthday in your time zone.

But here in the PTZ, you've got just under a half hour for your special day. So yay, you!

And you're friends with my friend, Mo.

Cailean said...

Happy Birthday!!! I de-lurked last week and feel so cleansed as a result!

sarah k. said...

I'm thinking of sending you cookies. Or can you wait until the end of June?

ash said...

De-lurking to say Happy Birthday! Hope you get your chocolate cake!

(I met you for real during C-Jane's 30th lunch, I am ii eee's sister-in-law. I have read every single post since.)

Annie said...

this gives me the excuse to de-lurk and ask if you ever saw your christmas wreath on msm utah featured on apartment therapy? http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/la/roundup/roundup-holiday-color-palettes-070890

for that and every post on this blog, i think you're swell. i hope your birthday was fabulous.

Shar said...

I'm not really de-lurking because I've commented before, but anyhow...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I hope it was great!

onnuh said...

Here's your best b-day gift ever (late): Caprica on DVD http://www.capricadvd.com/.

just jen said...

i turned 32 this year too...

and not to sound creepy, but i am convinced we could be BFF...

you are so witty and fun.

love it.

don't stop.

amy said...

happy birthday and what lofty goals! my goal is to write something witty for our next writing group (as you always do). also, to de-lurk my blog...um...so you can actually read it. birthdays! hooray!

somethinggirl said...

Fifty books a year. Ya, wow. But you know, actually... that's a lot if you're a busy mom. Is she a mom?

Happy birthday! I just celebrated an April birthday, too.

Beeswax said...

Feliz cumpleanos! I was a history major, too.

Jen, RN said...

I thought you were kidding on the harem pants-until I saw a harem pants spread in my latest Shape magazine. By the way-congratulations on being 32 again-I'm actually 30 again, which may be weird since we were in the same grade but whatever, right?