jetsetgreen

Friday, June 26, 2009

On Being a Blogging Celebrity

My entry into the Whrrl contest. You like? Go vote here.


It’s hard to describe just how famous I’ve become since I started to blog. First, like most artists of any note, I toiled in years of obscurity. There were the lonely days of 2003 when no one but my mother in law and at least one of her friends read my blog. However, much like Van Gogh moved to Arles, I moved to Blogger in 2005. Finally, a community of artists whose chosen medium, the blog, evolved into the extraordinary art form it truly is. How else can you explain a blog that starts like this: “Hey guys! Sorry I haven’t blogged lately but I’ve been SO BUSY!” Striking, isn’t it?

A couple years ago I was at a park for my parent’s church picnic. There I was, helping my child get a drink from a fountain when a woman walked up to me. “Hey, you look like a girl on the Internet.”
“Oh?,” I responded.
“Yes! Wait, you write The Jet Set! You’re Azúcar, aren’t you?”
I smiled and confirmed her suspicions. Look, sometimes celebrities are just like you and me. Well, like you and you. We take our kids to the park. We wear overly elaborate clothing in everyday life. We’re spotted eating potato salad, or imported chocolates and boutique baguettes. Is it trying to know that I’ll always have the public watching? Absolutely, but it’s my duty to be kind and slightly aloof. What can I say? I’m a role model.

We moved recently, and I found that like all famous people, I reaped the rewards of notoriety. One of our two moving men took a smoke break (after moving our opulent Serta mattress) and when he was finished, he only threw one cigarette butt onto my front porch. I bet if I wasn’t a blogging celebrity it might have been double or triple that amount! I know most people can’t ask for that kind of attention, but yet, it’s afforded to me just because of my writing. I almost feel guilty.

My husband insists that blogging is nothing more than high school in digital form. All celebrities have their tabloid nemesis, and J’s constant rejoinders of the medium are exactly what Kate Gosselin has to go through with US Weekly. Is it difficult? Of course, but if you’re going to take the good (cigarette butt) you have to accept the bad (gleeful contempt.) It’s a package deal, folks!

There are the other downsides to blogging celebrity. I am photographed in my car, whether I like it or not. I have to pretend I am listening to NPR instead of Fergie (see: role model.) It can be so taxing.


And, like every entitled child of a star, my children haven’t been able to reconcile their famous mother with their own identity. How else can you explain their propensity to trash their rooms?

Exhibit A:
Broken glass door on the entertainment center.



Exhibit B:
Parmesan cheese, chocolate syrup, lemon juice



Exhibit C:
Nesquik Fractals




As with most celebrities, I’m going to play off my children’s obvious shortcomings as merely the expression of an artistic mind. Basquiats for the Internet age.

There’s so much that my blog has brought into my existence: friends, enemies, and an obsessive relationship with Google Analytics, or how one time when I went out to Carrabba’s the server gave me a free drink, that sometimes I forget the little straining reminders of my celebrity. For example, having to wear sunglasses at Costco to cut down on admirers, or how the neighborhood children prefer my granola bars over everyone else’s; it's a blessing and a curse.

I simply document my life, well, my complicated, extraordinary, bon vivant yet humble and sincere life for the whole world to read and cherish. I truly am no different than the non-blogging plebian masses...

Only a lot better.

28 comments:

Kaerlig said...

so much better...

you, my friend, are validated

I read your blog.

Mrs. Organic said...

Loved it.

dalene said...

"There’s so much that my blog has brought into my existence..."

You forgot snide comments from the anons of this world. You know, because those are so much fun.

By the way, I'm a huge fan of Nesquick Fractals. (As long as they're not on my carpet.)

Jane of Seagull Fountain said...

Was great!

Couldn't find it over at Whrrl though -- is it up and I don't see it?

{natalie} said...

i knew there was a reason you were always wearing sunglasses when I saw you.

b. said...

Imagine my surprise to find out you didn't actually look like this.

Way better.

Cafe Johnsonia said...

I know I was starstruck when I first met you in person. :)

Kacy said...

Thanks for doing what you do.

Chief Momma said...

I've been able to use your blogging celebrity status a time or two in my town. They say, "how do you know Azucar?" Which always makes me think because I don't know you by that name. If you ever come visit me in Pasco, you will most definitely have to wear sunglasses in Costco.

A Few Tacos Shy... said...

HIDE YOUR MAPLE SYRUP RIGHT NOW!

From experience...

Things that come out of carpet:
Eggs (by the dozen)
Cereal (many assorted boxes)
Corn starch
Chocolate

Things that do not come out of carpet and require the purchase of an area rug:
Maple syrup

-Alta

Anne-Marie said...

Narcissism at it's finest.

I recognized Kalli in a Costco checkout line. She probably thought I was some weird stalker.

Great read. I'll vote.

acte gratuit said...

I really like this post. I'm still smiling.

Vanessa said...

Could this be my favorite post of yours? Still deciding but it might be....and your husband is right--- blogging is nothing more than high school in digital form---which is why my mother in law and sister still are the only people that read my blog. I gotta learn how to let my blog life help make up for how horrible high school was...

ps you missed the best trifle in the world tonight at the picnic

This is me said...

So, here's my question: Do you like it when strangers who read your blog say that they recognize you? Or is it creepy? Is it creepy when they also recognize your children?

Okay, that was three questions but I've had it happen to me and I can't decide how I feel about it.

Ahhh, Fame. It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it.

Amy said...

I just want to say that I'm a big fan and I admire you so much and I want to be just like you.

Marianne & Clayton said...

"Basquiats for the Internet age."

That sentence made my day.

Is it lame that I sorta feel cool to have known you from long ago? Before all your "new" fans hopped on the Jet Set train? Don't answer that. I know the answer.

Jen, RN said...

That's fantastic-you've come a long way since high school :o)......

Sarah said...

Bravo!

Mary said...

Well, you certainly do sound famous!

makeitworkmom said...

How sad is it that I need a dictionary to read your posts! If blogging were high school, you would definitely be Homecoming Queen!

Kalli Ko said...

r.e. Anne-Marie

I was flattered more than anything, and when we walked away I leaned over to my husband and said "how does it feel to be married to a celebrity?" And then my baby barfed on me and the moment ended justlikethat.

Penney said...

HILARIOUS! =)

Shawn said...

I, too, am a celebrity of sorts. Not for my blogging, but for my other many talents....

What can I say. I try to escape it, but it always follows.

tharker said...

I beg Chelsea all the time to introduce us! If you do ever come up to Pasco (and why wouldn't you?) I'll totally protect you at Costco. (me and my 5'3 self are pretty intimidating...)

Lindsay said...

I'm new, and I think I picked the wrong post to read first. I'm sure, were I familiar with the subtleties of your humor and your character, this would be a funny post, and I'd laugh at your clever irony. Since I'm not, I'm rather turned off.

Call me snarky, but I'm shooting first.

Azúcar said...

Oh Lindsay, bragging about the moving man leaving cigarette butts on my porch doesn't exactly scream celebrity; it mostly screams Someone Of No Importance Whatsoever (which is what I truly am.)

(Don't divulge that secret, though, or I'd be riven with shame.)

i i eee said...

Yeah Carina, you're such a bitch.









Heeeeey! My word verification is REDRUM!!!!!!! IT'S MURDER SPELLED BACKWARDS!!!! AHAHHHHHHH!

John said...

RE: Lindsay

I'm a first time reader.. I thought this post was funny. I have been reading c jane's blog though, so I think I was prepared for the tone of it. Still, funny.