Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

I tried to register E.G. for Kindergarten. Even though I spoke with the lady at the desk it apparently wasn't the right lady and I have to go back again, you know, to talk to another lady.

Then I split a package of Zingers with E.G. that we bought at a gas station. I don't know what possessed me to buy Zingers, but they were right there, at the register, and I bought them.

Gang, Zingers are really not as good as you remember, leave them in your childhood.

I sported my brand new house warming purse (Dara knows me) to work and spilled apple juice inside. The cider spilled all over my moleskine, keys, iPod, headphones, phone, wallet, bills, oh, and, my BRAND NEW PURSE. That action (possibly) caused me to be unable to hear people I was talking to on the phone. The speakerphone still worked, but I couldn't put the phone up to my ear to have a conversation, you know, like we've been able to do with phones for the past 100 years. The ordeal yielded three conclusions:

1. I should totally sue the juice company for making a faulty lid

2. No, it's not user error, it's their fault.


I don't understand. Phones should be at the very least liquid resistant if out right water proof-ness isn't on the table. I think all those scientists trying to turn animals into fluorescent animals should be working on waterproofing phones. This is clearly the item of greatest concern to our national security.

Sucking the apple juice out of the mesh speaker with lungs well-exercised by yelling at children didn't actually fix the problem. So, the remedy for juice phone =\= snakebite.

Then my friends told me the wrong restaurant for lunch so when I showed up they were leaving. Oh sure, kids, it was a mistake.

The afternoon brought more misery and anger but I can't talk about that, yet. Let's just say that sometimes Miley is right, there are more mountains to climb and crap. That's what she says, right? I hear that song on the radio for the first time today.

I heard Miley Cyrus on the radio.

There was the lecture about having a house that’s all painted white from E.G. as we watched an HGTV show.“I love watching painters. I’m good at painting walls, mom! We should paint this house colors. Not white. ”

“Technically, this isn’t white, it’s beige, but I’m gonna paint it white.”


“We can paint your room blue if you want.”

“Ok. I’m also really good at painting rainbows. Do you want me to paint a rainbow on this wall?”

“Mama likes rainbows better outside.”

“BUT I’M GOOD AT PAINTING RAINBOWS. I'm going to paint one right HERE.”

Look, I love my children, but no rainbows. Not since I was old enough to discard my Carebear (or, in my case, because my mother was cheap and poor, the Carebear ripoff the Safetybear) have I allowed rainbows to be part of my decorating.

I'm pretty sure that coming home to a rainbow on my wall would be just as awesome as spilling apple juice in my purse. Or like the pint of cream I sort of spilled in my purple purse when I forgot that I had a pint of cream in it and laid the thing on its side. Or when the purse, which despite my actually washing the lining with soap, developed the WORST mildew smell ever on this planet or possibly the galaxy.  I didn't know where it was coming from so I walked around for a couple days thinking, "Where is that SMELL coming from?"

Yes. That kind of day. How was yours?


soybeanlover said...

If your misery wants company...both my children are still jetlagged, so we had a double scream fest from 10pm until almost 1am. I have to wake them up in 2 hours if I want a decent night tonight. I'm praying really hard that the oldest doesn't get sick from said screaming, because we have no insurance in this country.

If you really want yo know...slip 'n slide + saw my sister for the first time in a year + Joanne's without older children + a trip to Provo today. Hallelujah for vacation

jennie w. said...

You know what you need? You know what would snap you right out of your funk?

The Miley Cyrus movie.

Sue said...

They can't waterproof phones or they will lose all of the income from people buying replacement phones. THINK, Azucar, THINK.

I have been to the Miley movie folks. Two words: HOEDOWN, THROWDOWN. Think about THAT for a while.

AzĂșcar said...

Yes, company.

Jennie, leave it to you to solve all my problems!

Sue, you are so right.

Sarah said...

It is high time they come out with a water resistant phone -- there are too many stories like yours. How's the purse

Jalene said...

I agree that they should make cell phones waterproofed! I dropped mine in the toilet once. Not fun!

This is me said...

If they have waterproof cameras and watches, there is no reason they don't have a waterproof phone as well. Just think, if you were drowning or being attacked by a shark, you could call 911 yourself and save everybody else a whole lot of heartache and trouble.

For a day not unlike yours, read my latest post. It's a doozy.

JMadd said...

Sorry. I dropped my phone in the toilet once and wasn't exactly in a position to get a new one, so the IT guy at my work told me to take out the battery and use one of those canned air things to blow out as much water as possible and then leave it in a warm, dry place for a few days. Wouldn't you know, it worked perfectly after that. And if you want to think about something to make you feel better, I got laid off from my job and had to have a root canal that same day. That was the worst day of my life. And it just happened a week ago, so I'm not really over it yet.

La Yen said...

Why did you ahve a pint of melted ice cream in your purse?

And it IS the climb. Because He said it wouldn't be easy. Miley = Stadium of Fire = BYU = Prophet = Jesus.

b. said...

I have The Climb on karaoke if you'd like to learn it.

That's a pretty bad day and I'm sorry for you, but now I've got Daniel Powter in my head.

fijiangirl said...

Can I join in the company? I had my 6 week post partum check and couldn't find anyone to watch my newborn. The other 3 taken care of, but not new born. I thought I will just feed him really well and he will sleep through the whole exam. NOPE... woke up to late and had to rush everyone out of the house so didn't get a "good" feeding in, he fell asleep in the car on the drive to the appt. However, while I was in the waiting room I hear some grunting from the car seat. Yep you guessed it, he was filling his pants right there in the waiting room. I got into the patient room and was told that I would be having a full gyno exam, (this is a new dr. and I don't remember being examined down there at 6 weeks post partum). So I figure since I am getting undressed I'll change the little guy as well and make him happy with a clean diaper on. Wouldn't you know he screamed the entire time I changed his diaper and wouldn't calm down enough to go in the car seat? So now I am legs in stirrups with my newborn on my chest while I dr. examines me. Worst visit EVER!!!!

Kacy said...

First of all, don't eat zingers with juice, bonehead. Eat your zingers with a pint of cream. Ohhh, sweet niblets.[Hannah Montana catch phrase.]

Second of all, they do make waterproof phones. They're called diving watches.

Shawn said...

Oh, oh---if you aren't careful, I will have to make you the Vice President of my Loser club.

I'm the President----and have done all of those things that happened to you....seriously!

All my purses smell of something I have spilled in them----its part of their initiation.

Anonymous said...

I didn't spill cream in my purse. So I call that a good day!

Mimi said...

My day was splendid, up until I discovered a slug like growth in the middle of my perfectly baked-baked potato, but hey, thank you for asking!

As for the phone, use this trick I learned from my sister whose phone ended up on the wrong end of a puddle... put your phone in a container of rice overnight. The rice will draw the moisture out. This is best used immediately but it is worth a try. Happy fixing!

Emily said...

My five year old son also wants to paint a rainbow on his wall. I, on the other hand, am not comfortable with the idea of a rainbow, no ma'am I'm not. So the walls remain white and scuffed. Works for me.

ScrapBox Organization & Storage said...

Who left you unsupervised with the purse? You're a teensy bit abusive.

Debra Fotheringham said...

De-lurkifying myself to present you with this youtube video. The Nokia 3720 waterproof phone.

kiki said... you carry a purse or a picnic basket? I'm confused by the amount of food you carry in your bag.

Chief said...

Damn, I wish I would have read this post right when you posted it. I spilled coke in my phone at work and someone told me to pour rubbing alcohol in it and then wait a few hours and voila! Phone.fixed!

Works with all electronics and liquid damage, most of the time!