jetsetgreen

Monday, August 03, 2009

The Bean Bag

I offered El Guille a bean bag for his room. He was all, “What the hell is that?” except he didn’t say hell, he said "heck," which was, in itself, truly embarrassing in every way for me. I tried to explain what a bean bag was, and how he could put it anywhere in his room to look at books, or have a comfy place to sit, and then be the coolest kid in the neighborhood because he had a bean bag. He was not impressed. Nor should he have been, bean bags haven't been the standard of cool since 1987.

Do you even know how much I wanted a bean bag when I was a kid, I nearly asked him. No, he doesn't know, nor does he really care. What is it with us trying to give our kids what we never had? It's as if giving them what we didn't have might fix us. (My mom never had a doll when she was a child, that's why we three girls each got a beautiful porcelain doll each Christmas morning.)

I was delighted to received these amazing prints (you know who you are) in the mail yesterday to go into E.G.'s room:

Whereupon he FREAKEDOUT and insisted that they were NOT going on the wall of his room. First of all, yes they are, and second of all, this causes me to seriously question his level of taste.

Also causing me to question his level of taste? This conversation:

"Mom, I just really like the way my boogers taste. And I just keep making more of them! I'm like a volcano."

Not even the World's Pithiest Statement could follow those observations.

We were driving in the car when E.G. insisted that he hates his 8pm bedtime because, "8 o'clock is the BORINGEST."
"How about we change your bedtime to 8:01?" I suggested.
"Is that bigger or smaller than 8?"
"Bigger."
"How much bigger?"
"Sixty seconds bigger."
"OH BOY! SIXTY SECONDS? I LOVE MY NEW BEDTIME! Can I use the extra time to play? Can I can I can I?"
"Sure!"

Oh, I'm in for it, don't I know it.

Thank goodness time with him isn't boring.

Or the BORINGEST.

18 comments:

Chief Momma said...

The booger/volcano comment is my favorite. Hilarious.

Marianne & Clayton said...

Maybe he'd like some sparkly Dora the Explorer prints? Or her nice friend Diego. Is he ready for Hannah Montana or Jonas Brother posters yet? Of course in your house those would be patently ironic, and therefore really funny.

Would forcing the crap make him rebel enough to like the good stuff?

The Glamorous Housewife said...

Oh man, that booger/volcano comment would have had me in stitches. We have an extended family quote book and that would have made it for sure!

Thanks doll,
The Glamorous Housewife

Kalli Ko said...

I had a bean bag and it was the stuff that dreams are made of.

I have three animal prints by John Golden hanging in my babe's room. Good taste, I KNOW!

~j. said...

And so: What will EG furnish for his own kids? I'll tell you what my kids will get for their own broods: NOTHING. Because they want for nothing. Because they own every carebear on the planet AND a pair of those stupid rollerskate shoes.

Kacy said...

Do you have a trash compactor or a skinny dish washer?

Azúcar said...

A non-functional trash compactor. My new kitchen will trigger all of your nostalgias with its up to date 70s and 80s touches.

Chief said...

Found you from MMB. A woman after my own heart! I love your Science project post about how you are building your children's immune systems.

Don't decorate the room...boys just trash them. Buy him a single wide and park it in the backyard and let him beat the hell out of it until he moves out.

Shawn said...

Boogies! heh, heh! Love it!

What a cutie....

Amy said...

As I've said before, I have no style, but I think my 3-year-old has even less. I let him choose his own garbage can, and despite my enthusiastically directing him to many fine choices, he went with a really lame yellow one. Honestly.

Marge Bjork said...

oh and what a volcano he is

Vanessa said...

Holy Crap I would just like you to know I laughed so hard at the volcano comment I started choking.

HI-Larious

ceecee said...

The Booger Volcano huh? :) I think I would have laughed my ass off it my child told me that! I liked the ending of your post - 8:01 is his new bedtime, and within those 60 seconds he wants to play. LMAO.

Mary said...

he he, so cute!


this makes me need a bean bag.

Geo said...

Funny, I always wanted a bean bag too, and I can just see myself thinking it would be the perfect gift for my kid. *sigh* Oh, those bursting bubbles.

I'm stunned the prints were rejected. I was thinking I especially need that robot in our office. I believe he is my soulmate.

I think you are :01 of the cleverest moms I know.

Jen, RN said...

Love the volcano comment! And I always wanted a volcano too....

Mrs. Organic said...

Oh, my sides! The booger volcano remark is awesome.

Growing up I always wanted one of those foam chairs that folded out into bed - not as stylish, good thing for my kids they don't make them any more.

Marilyn said...

Hilarious! I love this post.