jetsetgreen

Friday, August 14, 2009

I'd Like to Thank...


Just so you know, if I ever won an Oscar, and to be perfectly honest I never will, I won't be one of those people who uses their Oscar as just another shiny door stop.

My Oscar wouldn't be kept in the cupboard behind the salt. My award wouldn't be in the oven with all of my off-season sweaters or upside down as an emergency tub plug. 

I'm pretty sure that if I ever won an Oscar, I would put it on its own shelf with a single spotlight on it. I'd probably refer to the Oscar in every day conversation, trying for casual or oblique mentions and failing at subtlety, "The other day as I was making dinner I noticed my Oscar on its Swarovski crystal ledge and noticed that I hadn't given that round head a polish in at least two hours!"

"This curry reminds me of the time I accepted an Academy Award."

"When you come in the house please remove your shoes and notice the Oscar."

"I sewed some curtains the other night, and also I have an Oscar in my formal living room."

"Does this Lemon Pledge work on Oscars?"





"I need to pick up a few things at the grocery store, oh, and I WON AN OSCAR."



Tell me, where would you keep your Oscar?

16 comments:

Steph said...

I am pretty sure if I won an Oscar it's resting place would be in my cleavage... maybe that is why I was blessed with so much. Then at least it would be appropriate to stare at my chest. And... my clothes and body oils would keep it nice and shiney.

Now... off to find someone to cast me in their next film.

Cafe Johnsonia said...

I'd rather win an award from the James Beard Foundation. And if I did I would even stoop low enough to get a personalized bumper sticker for my husband's car--

"My wife won a James Beard award and I have the love handles to prove it."

jennie w. said...

I would keep it on the dashboard of my car.

Oh, and I'm halfway through The Historian. I like Twilight better.







(you know I'm kidding, right?)

AzĂșcar said...

"Jennie, no you don't" I said to myself before I read your post script.

The Glamorous Housewife said...

Why, I would leave my Oscar right next to my Emmy and Fashion Design awards, of course. ;p

Thanks doll,
The Glamorous Housewife

liz said...

i would keep it with my sex toys.

Susan said...

I would dig around in the basement and find that Baby Bjorn I thought I had no more use for.

Vanessa said...

So Tyler has some awards, I mean not like an Oscar but some pretty cool ones and he has thrown them in a binder under the bed. This has got me thinking....if he doesn't want to live them up maybe I will....it is not beneath me at all.

btw I don't know how to leave my name when it is set up like this...I need to change me google picture, that one is 10 yrs old. ps I would like you to know your word verification just made me type a bad word! ha!

Mrs. Organic said...

Are you kidding? I'd slap a few feathers on it for my very own Oscar fascinator.

Hailey said...

Are you kidding? In my purse. Maybe I'd even have an Oscar-shaped purse custom-made, so there were no doubts about what I was toting. Talk about a conversation ice-breaker!

rookie cookie said...

I haven't the foggiest. I starred this in my reader in hopes of coming up with something clever and I didn't.

Sorry. It's probably a good thing I don't have an Oscar if I can't be witty.

WV: "patic". Kind of like "pathetic".

thedoodlegirl said...

bwah! Love this! Especially the curry one.

Just Jiff said...

LMAO. This seems so random, but HILARIOUS!

Jillybean said...

I would hang it from a chain around my neck, or I would attach it to a tiara and wear it on my head.

thedoodlegirl said...

You and I must be on the same wavelength as I drew this several days ago: http://www.thedoodlegirl.com/

Petit Elefant said...

Do you really for one second believe that the egocentrics that make up hollywood really *don't know* where they put their oscars? or, that they're so unconcerned with the trappings of fame that their children play with it? PLEASE.

mine would be kept next to my medication. that's where i would see it the most.