Monday, September 28, 2009

All at a Price

I got to sleep in Sunday morning while Other Half got up with the kids. It was lovely: the light filtered through the pink sheers in the pink room, getting warmer and brighter.

On the edge of consciousness, I heard the door open and someone sit on the bed. Someone started talking, so I made myself start listening. El Guille was asking me a question, "Do you want a small one or a big one." "
"Big one," I reflexively answered, and then thought better of it, "I mean, which one do you want me to have?"
"feawpjo graojp eawfjp," He said, or maybe I couldn't quite focus. He was talking a lot.

"I think you should have a big one," he decided. I opened my eyes and saw him next to me, cutting up (with unauthorized scissors) his brand new school pictures, his very first school pictures, with all of the dexterity and precision that a Kindergartner can offer. Just then, I heard Other Half's loud, rumble-y voice yell my name. He sounded insistent. And then I heard him demand towels. Not a good thing to demand.

I came downstairs to a scene:
El Guille, finding his father a novice in the morning child-watching business, took advantage. In the time they were together, he managed to spill nearly my enter oil canister on the kitchen floor. He proudly announced that he "made chocolate muffins!" meaning he cut the challah bread I'd been saving for french toast with a paring knife, found chocolate chips, and jammed them into the bread. Tada! Muffins! And of course, made short work of his school photos.

I find that sleeping thoroughly made me simply shake my head at his antics, maybe with the smallest of smiles, and carried on with my clean up of our destroyed kitchen.

Turns out that if you only towel up the oil, the floor is still pretty slick and you, as well as every member of your family, will at some point slip-n-slide on the vinyl. The toddler will biff it every time.

What can I say? I don't mop on the Sabbath!

(Because I am lazy.)

Catch me over at Segullah today, where I drop the bomb.


Lara said...

Yes. This is what happens whenever I dare to leave the children in the care of their father. But, it's good for all of us and if it's sleep I'm getting, all the better.

Cafe Johnsonia said...

And my husband wonders why I'm afraid to leave the kids alone with him. The price of leaving the house means I have ten times as much clean up to do when I get home. And yet I still leave occasionally because it's so worth it...

My kids like to dump soap on the floor. Maybe we should let them play together?

lisa said...

If you pour salt on oil and let it sit for five minutes it cleans up easier. (It works for broken eggs too.)

It sounds like the weekend I flew home to see my grandmother and my husband and children picked me up on Sunday with the baby in her Santa Claus dress and Easter barrettes in her February...only to be told that she had worn the same thing to church that day. It went downhill from there.

AzĂșcar said...

Oh my stars, Lisa, that is so funny.

La Yen said...

I am so glad he is not past his awesomeness. I know you aren't, but since I don't clean up after him, I can revel in it.

Team EG.

thedoodlegirl said...

Ahahaahaaa!!! This is so tragically hilarious! I love that the toddler biffs it every time!

Anne-Marie said...

Amazing how we handle things when we have sufficient sleep.

Oil is a bugger to clean up though.

Rocketgirl said...

1. This is an awesome story. 2. the slipping reminds me of the time Husband and I decided to dye my hair while trying to give our 12 month old a bath. We spilled baby shampoo everywhere and kept falling all over the bathroom while the daughter sat in the tub looking at us like we were insane. 3. I remind myself that God gives ups what we can handle... so I am in AWE that he sent you a tornado like EG.