Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Bully Part 2

I really wanted this to happen:

Me: How did it go today? Did anyone punch or kick you?
EG: Yes! It was Wayne. He punched me in the stomach so I punched him in the face and kicked him really hard. He started crying. He looked like he was going to throw up. I made fun of him and then kicked him once more just to make sure that he wasn't going to mess with me again.
Me: You are awesome.
EG: I know.

But this is what really happened:

Me: How did it go today? Did anyone punch or kick you?
EG: Yes! It was Wayne and I punched him back and I was like POW, and he was like WHAT? *pantomimes falling down* and then he fell asleep. BZZZ!
Me, to myself: Did he knock him unconscious?
Me: And then what?
EG: *shrug* That was it.

So all of that build up and no hysterical crying from Wayne, no upset parents on our doorstep calling our child a horrible instigator, no dramatic showdown where I tell them about El Guille getting a garage door closed on his head, no sputtering in shock that their child nearly killed my child plus tears of regret and pain at causing us pain.

I know, what a let down, right?

Go here for part one.


i i eee said...

Such a disappointment. That's Wayne's such a bastard.

David Lesue said...

We'll get you, Wayne. Just you wait.

Clyde said...

Maybe little (stinker) Wayne is still "sleeping!" And his parents didn't notice him - yet. :)

BTW, you're such a great add-on story teller.

Chief said...

So, I think we have to repeat this again until Wayne gets it right.

April said...

No snappy comeback to the other kid's parents--"Well, that's what you get for naming your kid Wayne!"? Bummer.

Stephanie said...

i hate that wayne.

i really do.

Capree said...


AzĂșcar said...

His name isn't really Wayne, I made that up.

Although his real name is...well...

fijiangirl said...

Good for El G! Watch out you might have to set up a fight ring in your neighborhood!

AzĂșcar said...

Update to the update:

Me: Did anyone hit you today?
EG: Nope. Noone.

rookie cookie said...

Too bad. I was hoping for a major brawl. Like something that would make it onto the news.

And let's see if I can guess Wayne's name. Maybe Jaxshon? Or what about Tevin? It could be Broven or Kreven. I am just so sure he has a dumb name.

And if you want to talk names, I have some doozies. There are some real winner names of kids in Jack's preschool class.

Shawn said...

Uhhhh, are you Mafia?

Annette Lyon said...

Wayne was embarrassed and horrified, so he pretended to sleep.

Way to go, EG.

Bwahahahahaaa. You're an evil genius, even if the bully didn't get up and cry.

kiki said...

Nice. I was hoping for more, but I like this. I also want to know if he was knocked unconscious, playing 'possum, or if he is a fainting goat.

Sarah said...

TKO! Maybe not as satisfying as a whimper and a vomit, but pretty impressive El Guille!

swampbaby said...

I conquer with chief. Wayne needs to learn his role :-)