Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Wakeup Call From My Blog

"Hey Blog, how's it going?"
"Oh, HAI Carina, isn't that what you're calling yourself these days?"
"Carina is my name, it's what most people call me."
"But your handle has been Azúcar for so long, people don't know you by Carina and now it looks affected that you're using your real name."
"First of all, props for the proper use of 'affected' and second, I'm not going to have a conversation with you, Blog, about whether I can or can't use my real name. Drop it."
"Fine, whatever, I'm just saying."
"I'm busy, Blog, with important things, more important things with you. Why did you call?"
"I heard a rumor about you."
"I'm sure you hear a lot of rumors about me."
"I heard that some of your friends, like Vanessa, said they "want to be like Carina when they grow up."
"That was nice of them to say, wow, I'm blushing."
"Right, you don't blush. Anyway, they don't know that you're a nerd."
"I'm not a nerd!"
"Yes, you are, you are a total nerd."
"How can I be a nerd? I own and wear these shoes!"

"You are a nerdy-nerdy-nerd, no matter what shoes, what pants, what shirt you're wearing."
"I have just figured out how to dress myself, that's all."
"Yeah, after years of trial, error, and some really questionable fashion choices that involved the color peach."
"How was I supposed to know I can't wear peach, or really any pastel colors?"
"Well you know now, don't you? I mean really, peach moiré taffeta, could you have picked a worse color for your prom dress?"
"I just thought the watermark on the taffeta was so elegant."
"Snort. And how funny was it that not only did you pick peach moiré taffeta, but that your mom made your dress, and when you got to prom you were in a group with another girl whose mother made her dress and you had both used the same pattern--you were wearing the same homemade dress!"
"Yeah, and hers was far more elegant, being made of black and white, and not peach taffeta."
"I've grown out of that, I am not a nerd."
"Let me ask you a question, did you buy a book this week?"
"And is this book The Gathering Storm, the twelfth book in the Wheel of Time fantasy series by Robert Jordan? A series that you've been reading since 1993?"

"Yes. They're really good though, promise."
"Oh, I'm sure they are. Aren't you planning on taking a day off this week just so you can read your nerd-gastic fantasy novel?"
"I have to take time off, you know that, or I'll lose my paid days at the end of the year."
"And didn't you freak out when Robert Jordan died and were unable to even talk about how this series that you'd spent fifteen years reading might not ever end? And you resented Harry Potter fans for getting predictable and compact release cycles?"
"It was a difficult time."
"But I'm all pop culture aware and listen to cool music!"
"Poser. You're a poser nerd. That's even worse than a regular nerd. You watch all these hip TV shows, like Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries, but deep down, you are still crying over the end of Battlestar Galactica. Sometimes you even watch shows, like Castle, or Smallville just because they have the same actors as Battlestar, or Firefly, or whatever nerd show you love."
"Remember how Helo and Colonel Tigh are on Dollhouse right now? That's so awesome."
"NERDY nerd! Only nerds call actors by their old character names on their new show. Mostly because you can't let go of the past. Battlestar, sheesh, I can't believe you watched that show."
"Hey, you're hurting my feelings!"
"Whatever, this is just a pattern. Do you recall your first crush? While all your friends were pledging their hearts to Kirk Cameron, Johnny Depp, or Corey Haim, your heart belonged to Wil Wheaton."
"Sigh. I know. I had such a crush on him. He was in this TV movie starring as the young Harry Houdini? And then he was on Star Trek: The Next Generation, which I never missed, as Ensign Wesley Crusher.I thought I would die from his cute. Seriously, my heart hurt every time I saw him."
"And then years later you ran into Wil Wheaton's blog and found out that he was a Dungeons and Dragons playing computer nerd. Is it any wonder that you married a computer nerd who was a former D&D player?"
"I guess it's not exactly a shock, is it?"
"It's about as shocking as snow in January. It's all just a pattern of nerdery that you've gotten really good at hiding with MAC makeup, learned ease in social situations, and remembering that no one wants to hear about cold war theories."
"You know, there's nothing wrong with being a nerd! We've changed the world! Steve Jobs is a nerd! Everything you see, from your computer, your phone, the Internet, LoLcats, it all came from nerds!"
"Just what a nerd would say."
"I glad I'm a nerd! I'm glad I love science, genetics, history, and know about the Crystalline Entity. I listen to music obsessively and read sci-fi/fantasy. I know what an RPG is and wish I could be more like Starbuck! I watch Joss Wheadon shows and sing Dr. Horrible songs all the time. All your base are belong to us! There's nothing wrong with that!"
"Just don't tell anyone, OK? We have a reputation to maintain. We're The Jet Set."
"My lips are sealed."


Chief Momma said...

You can't be a nerd if Ree posts a picture of you and a link to your blog for the WHOLE world to see. Now that is cool if I've ever seen cool.

Azúcar said...

But Ree didn't know what I nerd I am. I hide it behind my Bumpit.

Annette Lyon said...

Hey, WofT is awesome. Knock it off, blog.

(I known Brandon Sanderson. Does that make me cool or an even bigger nerd that Carina?)

Azúcar said...

Annette, you're the fourth person in my circle to say you know him. I NEED HIM TO SIGN MY BOOK, with all my nerd heart.

Fig said...

You could undo all your nerdiness by showing us a picture of the prom dress. Because people who post hilarious bad photos of themselves are the self-deprecating epitome of cool. Right?

Debra Fotheringham said...

Nerds unite!

Azúcar said...

Yay! Debra came out of lurkdom! It's because of Brandon Sanderson, isn't it?

Azúcar said...

Fig, I really wanted to. I will try to find a copy because I don't have it scanned. I KNOW, who doesn't have all their high school dance photos scanned in an effort to preserve the eternal beauty and forward-thinking fashion?

Debra Fotheringham said...

Brandon Sanderson, Robert Jordan, Battlestar Galactica, and Firefly all in one post! How could I not comment?

Hailey said...

Seriously, who brainwashed us all to think that pastels were ever a good choice?

undefined said...

Oh, I must be an even worse nerd: the actual loser nerd. I'm with you on pretty much everything, but I have never, ever read any Robert Jordan. Now I must. Then maybe I can be a regular nerd and not a loser one.

Also, I should look into finding a pair of shoes like those.

The Rookie said...

I bask in your nerdery.

Be warned: this is coming from the girl who posts poetry on her blog and actually expects people to appreciate it (simply because she does).

Azúcar said...

Poet Nerd!

Adriel & Tierra Wakefield said...

My best friend from childhood was so in love with Will Wheaton. No Joke. She tried to convert me, but I guess I was too COOL (but not cool enough to stop watching Star Trek).

Adriel & Tierra Wakefield said...

Ummm, please tell me you really do have a Bumpit...

Azúcar said...


Adriel & Tierra Wakefield said...

I do too! I feel a real connection here...

BTW, I stumbled into your blog while reading Fig's (we're friends through my husband). Just doing a little de-lurking.

Azúcar said...

Once upon a long time ago, I was your husband's boss.

(At my professional job.)

Sue said...

Plus you're a tech writer. We all know what THAT means.

Adriel & Tierra Wakefield said...

WHAT?! Get out! I want to know if he was a good worker. Where was this?

Azúcar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adriel & Tierra Wakefield said...

Then I bet you also know my old roommate Natalie Johnson (Hatch)

MiaKatia said...

Did you see the Big Bang Theory episode with Will Wheaton? I still swoon. I embrace my nerdity! Now if I could just figure out the MAC makeup I would be set.

brinestone said...

I'm feeling bowled over by the awesomeness of this post. (I guess I'd be #5 on the list of people who know Brandon.) I started reading WoT yesterday, and I am slowly working on my husband to watch Dr. Horrible with me. He hates musicals but tends to enjoy Whedon. We'll get there.

annie said...

a nerd who wears shoes like that is the best kind! you win. and i'll post my homemade prom dress fiasco if you post yours....mind includes the most giant between-the-eyes zit ever to be seen, so the dress is sort of an after thought of awfulness.

A Few Tacos Shy... said...

I'm a nerd. I married a nerd. We are raising three nerdy boys. When I call my 12 year old a nerd he smiles proudly. I highly recommend nerds :-)

Becca said...

I'm a certified nerd lover.

Sean and Steph said...

I'm down to talk cold war theories any day, especially while singing along to Dr Horrible!

Waldo said...

Don't feel bad. I am at least twice the nerd you are, and I am in the Army, a battery commander, veteran, and phenomenal-looking. Nerds RAWK. And I want the book, but I want you to tell me if (1) the tone changes noticeably now that Robert Jordan (a Citadel grad) is gone, and (2) if it's going to leave me with a giant cliffhanger that's going to piss me off and then I wait another eight years for the next book? (Oh, also tell me if it sucks).


La Yen said...

W forgot to mention that when Nathan Fillian came out in his Firefly costume on Castle he squealed like a little girl. It totally negated all the tough Army stuff.

noelle said...

You are most definitely NOT a nerd, I don't care how nerdy your tastes might be. You should see me FREAK OUT when someone brings up string theory - it would make you feel way less nerdy.

Azúcar said...

I heart String Theory.

And then there was the day I diagrammed Schrodinger's Cat on the office windows.

dalene said...

i would have had a crush on ensign wesley crusher, but by the time i discovered TNG i was old enough to be his mother.

however, he shot a tv movie around the corner from me in my friend's house. i got to watch him work. he autographed my other friend's belly.

you're jealous now, aren't you?


Melanie J said...

I'm scared you may have stolen a page from my journal and posted it. Except I stopped the Wheel of Time at #8 and swore not to pick it up again until they were all written.

But BSG? Check. Wil Wheaton on my wall? Check. Watching Castle for Captain Tightpants? Check. Married to a former D&D-er and computer nerd? Check.

Oh, and hot shoes and MAC makeup? Check and check.

So weird.

Vanessa & Tyler said...

I feel all warm and fuzzy, I got mentioned in a Jet Set post.
ps I hope you don't know another Vanessa...well I am sure you do...I mean another Vanessa that said that.
pps if you do don't tell it will burst my bubble

Melody said...

I know all about the Chrystalline Entity; I still love moire taffeta; TNG is the only TV series I will ever own on DVD.( No, that's not true. I want Northern Exposure too.)

Anyway, "God bless us, every one."

soybeanlover said...

So much to love...except the peach taffeta. I loved Wil Wheaton from the first episode of TNG until the day I found out he was married.

007 and I totally giggled when we saw Nathan Fillion come out in his Firefly costume too. I'm just waiting for him to break into song one day, or wear his Captain Hammer shirt.

Camels East said...

Hey Snotty-snotty-McPants!
I'm with you on the theta.
We speak the same Spanish... I call it SPAINISH, and it's the only Spainish I know.

Nerdy nerds unite. I bought The Gathering Storm the day it came out, and beforehand I was researching Sanderson, and how he got to write the final "book" (since it's coming in threes).

I thought your peachy taffeta was pretty. But I was wearing ruffley-cloud-poof sleeves that could have accidentally taken flight, all ablaze of gold lame-ness. My dress belonged in Napoleon Dynamite.

You're my favorite.

Camels East said...

Oh, and I still have a crush on Wil Wheaton

wendysue said...

I love nerds.

Oh, and how many of those friends that know Brandon Sanderson can say that they know him AND that Brandon's Dad taught them seminary? (me and Lisa V!) He'll totally autograph it for you!

Coachdad said...

If you like Jordan, you need to read George RR Martin's Fire and Ice series... Nerd.

Azúcar said...

I've had George RR Martin on my list forever. I really need to make that happen.


Anonymous said...

I'm with you on just about everything, minus Battlestar Galactica and Firefly. My husband may or may not still play D&D with his HS friends every time we're back at his parents. My peach taffeta prom dress was a disaster (I'm thinking maybe Latinas shouldn't wear peach?).

Wanna know my college's football cheer? "It's alright, it's okay, you're going to work for us some day!" I basically went to nerd heaven.

Bask in your nerdness! :-)

Camille said...

Your blog needs an attitude adjustment!

Stepper the Mighty said...

I join you in Nerd Pride and am trying to spread the love - we're currently indoctrinating Tamsin from Project Project and her cute hubby in the ways of Firefly. I still get pouty about how that series didn't have enough airtime. The TV powers that be are morons.

b. said...

I have no idea what you're talking about half the time, but I wouldn't have you any other way!
(I do appreciate that you are nerdy enough to know what I'm talking about when I start the medical terminology. Thanks for that.)

I have some eye color called Crystalline.

Anonymous said...

As my husband would say: there's nothing wrong with a nerd (even though he's still in denial)

Jo said...

I am a nerd. I don't even try to be cool anymore, it hasn't worked for me. I just claim my nerdiness, and re-read the Lord of Rings just because I love it. It is truly hopeless for me to try to be anything but a dictionary reading, sci-fi dream having, book loving, good grade getting NERD!

Kristina P. said...

Carina, it was so great to meet you today! You are such a cute fashionista.

And any woman with a Bumpit is a friend of mine.