Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I'm Sick, Whine, Whine, Whine

The children ran into the bed, "Hey mom!" said the big one, bouncing off the bed.
"Hey mom," echoed the little one.
I lifted my head. They looked like urchins: still in pajamas, dirt crusted their mouths, snot smeared their faces, and did I detect a red ring left from fruit punch?
"Hi, guys," I coughed.
"If you need anything, anything at all mom, you can call me," said E.G.
"You can call me!" echoed the little one.
"Thank you, babies."
"I mean it, I can bring you anything, mom," said E.G.
"Mean it. Anything, mom!" echoed the little one, wiping a smear further along his round cheek.

I've been sick, and blogging about being sick is incredibly boring. You almost always illicit a ton of "Aww, feel better!" comments, and while those are nice, they almost seem like fishing. And I don't fish. Anymore. As of now. Second, it's just a cold, and no one can make a cold amusing, right? There's only so many ways you can describe post-nasal drip and a wicked cough; we've all been there, we all know it sucks, and we all just get over it.

So I called Allison, "Are you still sick?"
"Yes," she sniffed.
"Come be sick with me. We can lie on opposite ends of the couch in the same PJs we've had on for three days and watch Firefly. The kids can run around."
"OK," she sniffed.
That's exactly what we did, all day Monday, because nothing makes being sick cooler than having someone be sick with you.

"You know that if I could, I'd take this sickness for you," Other Half said.
"No," I said, "I don't want that. You're a pain when you're sick. You're just awful." Sure, it's great to have someone be sick with you, but it can't be your partner, that's just not right.

We all know what would happen if you were both sick: one of you would be convinced that he is dying and a single heart's beat away from his head exploding in a torrent of mucous, roaring like a wounded dinosaur, and you, while theoretically being at the same level of suckage, would still be expected to feed the children, clean the bathroom, and make sure no one dropped the brand new toy wooden barn on anyone else. That's why yes, I will be the sick one, I'll just do it, because the happiness of everyone is worth it.

Even if your children are given "fruit" punch behind your back.


jennie w. said...

My head is on the verge of exploding as well. Plus I have nasty cramps for the first time since I was fifteen. Every time I cough my girlie parts start spasming. Ack.

But because I am an imbecile (or just unlucky) I am throwing a farewell open house for my best friend tomorrow. She's moving this week and I invited the entire ward over to my house to say goodbye.

I should be madly cleaning, but instead I'm wandering around feeling crappy. My husband is having to do all the cleaning. But he's better at it anyway.

rookie cookie said...

I love that you and Allison were sick together. I met her a couple of months ago and she is rad. Super chill.

I myself am no longer sick. And it feels great. Earlier this week I was being sustained by only Tylenol Cold and Flu and scrambled eggs. But not anymore. So instead of my condolences, I give you my bragging of my better health.

Jessie said...

"Roaring like a wounded dinosaur" made me laugh out loud. Nice one.

martha corinna said...

No truer words were written than that last paragraph. Always dying, always.

I remeber taking a gender psychology class in college and learning that women's brains are programed to consider the whole as opposed to one. That's great for my stairway to heaven but I still have a bone to pick once I get there.

Emily Hill said...

I've often though it amazing how we can be just as sick, if not worse, than men and yet we manage to hold the whole world together while they simply manage to become a basket case in record time. Feel better! (And Allison too!)

Kim said...

Yeah, I miss the days when I can just be sick and not have to worry about the children. Cause even if I am sick, they are 5, 3 and 15 months and still need their Mom and Dad still has to go to work.
Glad you could be sick with a friend though, that is awesome.
Get feeling better soon!

Amy said...

My husband complains more about a slightly scratchy throat than I did during the births of my children. To this day I'm not actually sure if he's ever really been sick because his whining seems to have no relation to any pain/discomfort scale I'm familiar with.

AzĂșcar said...

Oh Amy, I laughed so hard. It's like the time when J thought he was having a heart attack and it was HEARTBURN.

AzĂșcar said...

(From the entire pepperoni pizza he'd consumed.)

(In one sitting.)

Tamsin said...

Aww, feel better!

Camels East said...

You had me Firefly.

Camels East said...

AT Firefly. You had me AT Firefly. Ugh. Never post comments after an all-nighter.

Ashley and Caleb said...

I have been marathoning Firefly too, but I don't have the excuse of being sick...

Marianne & Clayton said...

Everyone needs to YouTube "man cold" It should have Nick Frost in it.

Hilary said...

if husband and wives are both sick, the husband will always be sicker.
It's a law.
Or so I am told.