Thursday, January 14, 2010

Christmas FAIL

Guess what?

No, guess what?

My Christmas tree? It’s still up.

I know.

I know.

It gets worse.

This year I didn’t really do Christmas decorating, which is a shame since I don’t decorate for other holidays (and if you bring up the working disco ball that is currently hanging in my foyer, sure, we put it up for Halloween, but I like it so much I’m turning it into a permanent feature.) I usually go all out for Christmas, well, all out for me: some lights in windows, a wreath, a tree, uh, I think that’s it.

All of that rigamarole at least once a year!

I pulled down the plastic containers with the ornaments and lights from the garage shelving and slide them along the carpet to the living room the day after Thanksgiving. Those containers stayed in that living room undisturbed for almost two weeks. It was only El Guille’s persistent nagging to put up the ornaments that finally got the tree up.

The wreath? First the weather was too cold to hang the wreath hook, and then I had to repair the wreath with hot glue. The hot glue gun stayed in the living room with the wreath for two weeks. The wreath is still sitting on the side table where I set it to cool a month and a half ago; it never made it onto the door.

I have these really cool bulb lights on a string that I was going to hang in my windows, they look so cool and mod from the outside. I couldn’t find the cool lights from whatever diaper box they ended up in during the move, and since they were the crucial first step in the lighting design, no lighting went up. Don’t you fret, I BOUGHT MORE lighting for the outside, which is currently in its original packaging, including the plastic bag from Target, in the garage. See, I went outside to test the external plug and it didn’t work. And it was that week in December when the high every stinking day was 5 degrees (and pansy California was crying because they were in the 40s.) I couldn’t bear to be outside to figure out why the external plug didn’t work, so that was it. The test string of lights was literally kicked around the foyer for four weeks. That was my guest prep: a vicious kick of the white string under the leggy 1920s settee, which is hardly a stealthy move and totally not obvious.


I just couldn’t this year. And I’m having just as hard of a time taking down what I did do.

(Container of lights? STILL IN LIVING ROOM.)

Is this the kind of thing people call Oprah about for help?


ScrapBox Organization & Storage said...

THIS is the story of my life! And, incidentall, this is also why my house is always a wreck--half finished projects that require more effort and energy than I have at the moment to give. The intentions are there, it's just, you know.

ScrapBox Organization & Storage said...

that was supposed to be "incidentally"

Hil said...

oh thank you. thanks for the honesty. so refreshing. so glad to not see another post of someone's house and how amazing the decor was.

talk about salt in the wound.

i too am awful when it comes to decorations. we did get our tree and stockings up, but we just barely took it all down last weekend.

Azúcar said...

I brought out the stockings. I bought hooks for the fireplace that has no mantle. The stockings laid on the living room couch for the entire holiday season until they were filled and then propped upright on the couch. Now they're lying on the couch again.

Petit Elefant said...

My tree? Still up. *deeeeep sigh*

Marianne & Clayton said...

My little nephew used to go around the house muttering "hard level" to himself after a grueling round of some video game. So now that is our go-to saying for things like this. Tree still up? Hard level. Pictures still not hung on wall? Hard level.

We also quote Phoebe in Friends when she tries crocheting. She throws down her single chain string and yells "Too hard, too hard!".

Azúcar said...


I pulled the tinsel trees that were on my porch into the house! At least my neighbors think we're de-Christmasing.

Only the tinsel trees got moved to my living room. So now there isn't just one Christmas tree, there are five.

lisa said...

My mom's Christmas tree is still up...and has been for about two years.

Feel better?

(I really hope she doesn't remember how to get to your blog...)

Bek said...

The same thing happenedin my house, except I left a box or two outside and ruined them. they are still there. icouldnt manage the Christmas stuff this year. I also made the elders take the tree down ( they live in our guest apt and offered to do it for me ). Otherwise it would still be there

We need an intervention.

Laquina said...

My tree is still up. It makes me happy. But the candy canes on there won't last long.

I think we are all in denial.

Geo said...

Sounds like a job for FlyLady.

Melody said...

Christmastime two years ago I laid fresh pine boughs along the top of the wooden valance above my gigantic living room window.

Last week I took those beautifully dried boughs down and burned them in the fireplace with the wrapping paper that had been there since (the most recent) Christmas morning.

All is well. Oprah is no help.

The Bakers said...

No worries, I just took my tree down yesterday. And that's the only Christmas decoration I had up.

Sarahf said...

You have a disco ball in your house. You have no reason to fret over decorative issues ever again. Fact.
PS My Christmas tree? I have no idea, I didn't actually get around to buying one.

jeri said...

Are we secretly the same person? Because aside from the disco ball...

That's IT! I'm totally taking the other half of the ornaments off the tree This Very Second.

...after I finish answering my e-mails.

R~ said...

holy hell, you are by far the funniest person i have ever known. no matter what the day is, you're stories always make me laugh and smile! i'm so happy to know it's not just me that fails. LOL.