No, guess what?
My Christmas tree? It’s still up.
It gets worse.
This year I didn’t really do Christmas decorating, which is a shame since I don’t decorate for other holidays (and if you bring up the working disco ball that is currently hanging in my foyer, sure, we put it up for Halloween, but I like it so much I’m turning it into a permanent feature.) I usually go all out for Christmas, well, all out for me: some lights in windows, a wreath, a tree, uh, I think that’s it.
All of that rigamarole at least once a year!
I pulled down the plastic containers with the ornaments and lights from the garage shelving and slide them along the carpet to the living room the day after Thanksgiving. Those containers stayed in that living room undisturbed for almost two weeks. It was only El Guille’s persistent nagging to put up the ornaments that finally got the tree up.
The wreath? First the weather was too cold to hang the wreath hook, and then I had to repair the wreath with hot glue. The hot glue gun stayed in the living room with the wreath for two weeks. The wreath is still sitting on the side table where I set it to cool a month and a half ago; it never made it onto the door.
I have these really cool bulb lights on a string that I was going to hang in my windows, they look so cool and mod from the outside. I couldn’t find the cool lights from whatever diaper box they ended up in during the move, and since they were the crucial first step in the lighting design, no lighting went up. Don’t you fret, I BOUGHT MORE lighting for the outside, which is currently in its original packaging, including the plastic bag from Target, in the garage. See, I went outside to test the external plug and it didn’t work. And it was that week in December when the high every stinking day was 5 degrees (and pansy California was crying because they were in the 40s.) I couldn’t bear to be outside to figure out why the external plug didn’t work, so that was it. The test string of lights was literally kicked around the foyer for four weeks. That was my guest prep: a vicious kick of the white string under the leggy 1920s settee, which is hardly a stealthy move and totally not obvious.
I just couldn’t this year. And I’m having just as hard of a time taking down what I did do.
(Container of lights? STILL IN LIVING ROOM.)
Is this the kind of thing people call Oprah about for help?