Turns out that I'm speaking this weekend at EVO conference.
Why me? Because I'm an expert.
In what? EVERYTHING*.
I tried to tell Jyl and Rachael not to invite me. "You have to come!" they shrieked at once.
"No, you don't want me to go, I'm not good at conferences."
"What? You'd be so fun!"
"That's why were sitting next to you!"
And then I caved, because you'd cave too; they squeeze a person like some sort of mutant blonde-brunette-human vise until they get what they want.
As far as you know I'll be speaking about SEO and blogging, but let's be honest, things could go pear-shaped fast. I make no guarantees that I won't start talking about SEO and end up giving a quick, yet timely, lecture on Soviet collectivization and the resulting widespread famines. Also, how much Kristen Stewart bugs. ANYTHING could happen!
*Notable exceptions: calculus, Asian languages, ostrich farming, bear hunts, the internal combustion engine, Cairo, server upgrades, the PAC 10, industrial solvents, nuclear fission **, Patricia Cornwell, reciprocating saws, casseroles, light welding, what in the H is happening in South Carolina politics, North Face clothing, tuber cultivation, and counterinsurgency strategy.
**Update: Am now an expert in nuclear fission. I looked it up.