Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Do You Know Me?

This very afternoon a spammer on Twitter sent me a tweet along these lines: “I just got a free Walmart gift card, click here to get yours before they’re all gone!”

Wow. A gift card to Walmart? It’s like they don’t know me at all.

Honestly, Walmart? The place that makes me feel like I’m in the ninth circle of the Inferno the moment I step through the doors? Where I’m confronted with the choice of going left or right at the first pile of cardboard boxes only to be confronted, in a dreary, sisyphean twist, with more boxes? Why sure, $100 sounds like a good idea! I like to be surrounded by various minor demons and whatever wailing small child is out after midnight!

It all got me thinking.

Do you think you know me? Really know me?

I dare you.

Leave a comment telling me what you think you know about me and I’ll add it to this post. I’m not talking about compliments; we all know my skin is lovely. I’m talking about the one thing you really think you know about me.

I’ll even allow anonymous comments again so you can say the mean things you know about me (and some of you know a great deal of mean things.)

Why? One of my friends says she finds it hilarious how many people think they know me, without the benefit of years and with the lack of deep confidences. Call it an exercise in curiosity, an experiment in debate.

About Carina (by You):

1. Fiercely loyal to friends

True, or at least that's what my friends tell me. Those fools.

2. Has a vast knowledge of cheese

I guess I do. I mostly read and remember what I read, cheese included.

3. Strong advocate for breastfeeding and nursing anywhere


4. Likes words, and may be wordy smart

They're just so cool! They make it easy to say stuff!

5. Clever

I have nothing to say to that.

6. Can bake and am a great cook

I can! It is possible!

7. Don't mind clutter

Well, I mind it, I just don't do anything about it (or the periods where I do something about it are widely spaced intervals.) Am training my children to do it for me. Valid parenting choice.

8. I DO think it's funny you're eating my waffles with Great Value brand syrup

9. Friends with Wendy Chao (rendering me automatically awesome and cool)

Does this mean I automatically have her advanced degree from Harvard, too? Because I would die (in the Rachel Zoe sense.) You know, if I didn't pay so much attention to things and people like Ms. Zoe, I might have my own advanced degree.

10. Retain details about and are friends with everyone with whom I come in contact


11. No Nestle

Because the people behind Nestle are money-grubbing fascists? Yes.

12. Excellent traveling companion

I'll let you see me in my underwear.

13. Lipstick, curls, and heels

That happens a lot.

14. Fantastic taste in books and music (dangerously close to Brinestone's)

Everyone always thinks they have fantastic taste in books and music, and in my case, it happens to be true.

15. Perfect snarky ton that never crosses the line into fake, whiny, or mean.

(See #14?)

16. Recently lost a friend to cancer

Cancer can suck it.

17. Miscarried at the Top of the World

That's where I found out I was knocked up (which turned out to be a transitory state.)

18. Travels more than Brinestone does

I have no way of quantifying this statement on the evidence presented, so I'll have to...agree?

19. Knows Miss Nemesis

I do! And she is lovely! You know, she IS the Voice of Reason.

20. Seems to be wicked smart

Appearances are marvelous things, aren't they?

21. Appreciates: the finest things in life, people with palates, intelligent debate

Which is why we get along so well, you do, too!

22. Has a knowledge of just about everything (art, history, music, science, literature)

Source: the curse of remembering almost everything.

23. Student of the world, having lived in various states and in Europe

Student of the world implies I learned something in each of those various states and in Europe. I may have.

24. One of the funniest people Lindsey knows, and is maybe hilarious.

Again, this is difficult to quantify as I don't have a readily available sample, but I'm going to go with: probably.

25. A Mormon with a strong testimony but if you aren't, likes you anyway

Look at that! I am! And I do like you!

26. Democrat

Yes, but, I'd consider myself more of a progressive who happens votes Democrat. I'll vote for a Republican if I think they're the better person for the job. In summary: I VOTE AND YOU SHOULD, TOO.

27. Will probably take out the bullies

I leave that to my husband (foreshadowing?!)

28. Has a turquoise wallet

I DO! This is one of the most personal details you've been able to ascertain yet. Ha!

29. Husband is my opposite

You have no idea. It's like I'm South and he's North.

30. Sisters and I are similar but different

This is so true and also not true!

31. Often came late to work and now that Chelsea has kids, too, she wonders how in the world I even got there when I did

I have a loose sense of when I should have to appear at work, my babes don't help.

32. When going to Etta's in Seattle I like to order a cheese platter

I like the clams even better.

33. Likes to shop.

No comment.

34. Used to be a manager at Barnes and Noble, or was it Borders?

It was Borders, but I've worked both places.

35. Coming up with a group-themed Halloween costume is my forte

This has happened.

36. Shares a hairstylist with Chelsea

His name is Patrick. He's a genius, maybe you should book an appointment (and he's single, ladies! Yes, ladies.)

37. Has an appreciation for and also a knowledge of mid-century modern architecture and design

One of my passions. I even have a blog dedicated to mid-century design and architecture--a blog which I am notoriously terrible at updating!

38. Appreciates a well-placed curse word

I certainly do (although it has landed me into trouble recently.)

39. Very opinionated, but in a responsible and respectful way, and probably downright sassy

I'm responsible? That's so nice to hear from you, dear reader! Now, please tell my mother.

40. Thinks sleep is overrated

There are so many other things I could be doing, why waste them sleeping?

41. A smarty pants, but a nice smarty pants

I have you hoodwinked.

42. Knows what it feels like to have a sense of duality in who society thinks I should be and who I actually am

Who's the smarty pants now? You, Megling. "Sense of duality" read too much!

43. Has Google-bombed someone

Yup. I did that. They were making my life difficult and causing Sheriffs to show up at my house at all hours looking for them, so I Google-bombed them to make them take responsibility. I have no idea if it worked, it did make me feel better. Until I felt bad and took down the bomb a day later.

44. Is a foodie extraordinaire who knows where to get a good Raclette in Park City, Utah

Although the term "foodie" kind of bugs me, I fit the description. And you should go to Adolf's (where the food is not cheap but is very, very delicious.)

45. One of my ancestors is Brigham Young and I defend him on the interwebs

He is my great-great-great-great-grandfather. I downright like the fellow, he was a lion.

46. Will drop a chunk of change on a pair of heels

Hmm. I'm actually famously cheap. I own some expensive heels, but I never pay full price and I usually score them for dirt cheap.

47. Is generous

I aspire to generosity. I could be doing so much more than I actually am. I should be more better.

48. Nursed babies for more than two years

That's right. 2.5 years each, when they weaned themselves. It was awesome. Highly recommend.

49. Hates flip-flops


50. Has a real, honest to throwback, retro house with a pictorial backdrop wall.

It's going to be even more retro-y once I finish it. And yes, a full-wall landscape photo complete with a pull-down silver screen. You know, for ribald slideshows.

51. Comes across brash and fearless but is one of the most sensitive and caring people La Yen knows

I'd cry if I weren't so pissed off at you for outing me and my soft underbelly.

52. Freaked the heck out of the vendors at the City Market in La Ciudad, Juarez by haggling in the Espanish

I sure did. I am not going to pay that much, and I WILL walk away. Because you are nada especial, amigo!

53. Loves when it is practically fall

Yes, I do. When the leaves are still on the trees and it's so hot that almost everybody still thinks it's summer, it's practically fall.

54. Doesn't know you, like you don't know her

Highly probable.


sue-donym said...

Warren Winkle

Fiercely loyal to your friends

Has a vast knowledge of cheese

Emmie said...

Your skin is lovely.

You are a strong advocate for breastfeeding. You want mothers to have the information and help they need to successfully nurse their babies. It's important to you that breastfeeding myths are dispelled, and that mothers feel unashamed to nurse in public.

Also, you are awesome.

Kelly said...

I don't know you, but have been reading your blog for a while. I'd say from what I have read that you like your words. You're a wordy smarty pants. Also you are clever and can bake. I didn't know how much you hated Wal Mart until today.

You also don't mind clutter... Was that mean enough?

liz said...

I don't actually know you, but I bet you'll think this is funny. I am right now, as I read this post, eating your amazing yeasted waffles. With -- wait for it -- Great Value brand syrup.

Andrea R said...

You're friends with Wendy Chao, which automatically means you're awesome and cool.

~j. said...

You retain details about, and are friends with, just about everyone with whom you've come into contact.

Bake. Cheese. No-Nestle'. Drink. Breastfeeding, if you please. Gordon. Excellent traveling companion. Lipstick and curls and heels.

All this to say: I've seen you in your underwear and you've seen me in mine, so I hope I know you.

Brinestone said...

Everything I know about you I learned from your blog. Which is to say:

1) You have FANTASTIC taste in books and movies. It is dangerously close to mine.

2) You have an absolutely perfect snarky tone that never crosses the line into fake, whiny, or mean. I swear every time I read your blog, I think, "How is she doing this? It's like magic!"

3) You recently lost a friend to cancer.

4) You recently miscarried at the top of the world (okay, not really).

5) You travel more than I do.

6) You either know Miss Nemesis or the two of you read each other's blogs, so I guess I'm a friend of a friend. Except that she's better friends with my husband than with me.

7) You seem wicked smart.

I didn't know until today that you hate Wal-Mart or that you are a breastfeeding advocate. It seems those are two more things we agree on.

Lindsey Johnson said...

I'm one of those people who loves you but probably doesn't know too much about you...which is sort of sad!

I do know that you appreciate the finest things in life and have a knowledge about just about everything--art, history, music, science, literature, etc.

You appreciate people who have a palate.

You appreciate intelligent debate. You are a student of the world and have lived in various states and in Europe.

You are one of the funniest people I know.

You also have a strong testimony.

You are a Mormon and a Democrat.

And what your other friends have said.

And you'd probably take out those bullies.

Carrot Jello said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carrot Jello said...

I don't know you.
I don't even know what "sisyphean" means.

You have a turquoise wallet.

Chelsea said...

1. Your husband is your opposite. Like so opposite it's funny (same as my husband and myself)

2. Your sisters and you are similar, but also VERY different.

3. You often came (come?) late to work. Now that I have kids, I wonder how in the world you even got there when you did.

4. When you to go Etta's in Seattle you like to order a cheese platter.

5. You like to shop.

6. You used to be a manager at Barnes and Noble (or was it borders?)

7. Coming up with group themed Halloween costumes is your forte.

8. You have curly hair, but not as curly as mine. However, our hairstylist is the same.

Trust me, I could go on, but that might be pathetic.

Anonymous said...

You have not only an appreciation for, but a knowledge of mid-century architecture and design.

TheFeministBreeder said...

You are Mormon. And a great cook. I am neither, but you like me anyway. I think that's because we both appreciate a well-placed curse word. That's pretty much all I need to know about you to put you in my "Teh Awesome" file.

Azúcar said...

Liz and Kelly,
It's possible that your Walmarts are lovely places with clean, well-ordered shelves and helpful employees. My Walmart is a crowded, dirty place that gives me the creeps.

The Coolest Allen Family said...

You are very opinionated; but in a responsible and respectful way.

You are also extremely funny and snarky; which is why I stalk you regularly.

(I don't personally know you, but I am sure I would at least know to never offer you a Wal-mart gift card)

whitneyingram said...

You think sleep is overrated.

Megling said...

While I won't cop to knowing you (oh though I wish I did...and lived near enough to eat your delectable creations) I will say I think you know what it feels like to have a sense of duality in who society thinks you should be and who you actually are and...wait for it....I think you handle that sense of being pulled in multiple directions with a lot of razor edge humor and grace. And I envy that in you. Maybe if I keep reading your blog I'll learn your secret.
This was an interesting exercise...blah blah academic speak on what exactly socialization and intimacy is in the internet age blah.

Rynell said...

You are a smarty pants, but a nice smarty pants.

Mrs. Organic said...

Foodie extraordinaire - you know where to get a good Raclette in Park City. You're the go-to gal for restaurant recommendations.

Cardine said...

One of your ancestors is Brigham Young, and you defend him on the interwebs.

The redhead said...

I don't know this to be exactly true, but I can only assume that you would be okay dropping a nice chunk of change for a pair of heels that made your ankles and butt look awesome.

And I've never agreed with one of your posts to the degree I do today. I only go to Walmart if the devil made me do it. However, I know where you live. I live there too. And that Walmart is for fiends. I hear the one a few miles south is acceptable.

Anonymous said...

I don't know you. You don't know me.

dmarie said...

i don't know you at all..i just read your blog, which may give me a little insight. i'm gonna go with a simple guess: you're downright sassy! :)

Nemesis said...

You're generous

You're hilarious

You know pretty much everyone! I have no idea how you manage this.

ClistyB said...

I no longer pretend to know anything about you. Heres why...
Waaay back when I first found your blog, there weren't any pictures of you that I could see. And for the better part of a year I believed that you were black and wore your hair in an afro. Then you posted a pic of your oldest in front of Provo bakery with a donut, and I was all kinds of confused. I had to email Courtney and she straightened me out.

ClistyB said...

k, wait, I have something.
Over the summer you wrote and posted about the word 'uppity'. It seemed like it was here then gone in an instant.

TopHat said...

I don't really know all that much about you except that you're pretty cool.

Anne-Marie said...

You continued to breastfeed past (gasp!) two years!

You would go postal if I quoted Glenn Beck in my Relief Society lesson on Sunday. (hehe)

You HATE flip flops. (tragic)

I was cool enough to be invited to your 30th B-Day party, but lame enough to be out of town that weekend.

fijiangirl said...

I thought about leaving a comment on the cursing, but someone already got to it. A lot of things came to my mind but the cursing one is what made me laugh, because I remember discussing how fun it was to let some choice words fly once in a while

The redhead said...

Well I guess I should have been clearer. By "nice chunk of change" I obviously meant "discounted" and "reasonably priced."

Otherwise I would have said a nice buttload of change.

La Yen said...

Has a real, honest to throwback, retro house with a pictorial backdrop wall.

Comes across brash and fearless but is one of the most sensitive and caring people I know.

Freaked the heck out of the vendors at the City Market in La Ciudad, Juarez by haggling in the Espanish.

Loves when it is practically fall.

Fig said...

Carina ...

Married Other Half because he's smarter than she is.

Hates summer.

Takes no cream in her linguine with clam sauce, thank you very much.

Is a huge movie buff, no chick flicks allowed. (Unless they are good.) (Are they, ever?)

Emily said...

Knows how to rock a pair of ankle boots.

Other than that, everyone else has covered what little I did know about you until I read this post. I love it and absolutely loved learning more about you!

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Loves to golf!

I was also going to say that you are lovely and gracious and funny. :)

Fig said...

Also, about the Patrick thing ... just found out today he's single, and my sister is single, and the wheels, they are a-turning.

Kalli Ko said...

You secretly love terrible movies. Like Twilight, at 10 pm on a Wed. night.

Rachael said...

Is straight up beezilicious.

p.s. for the record - I would never send you a WalMart gift card.

kami @ said...

likes Robyn and boobie tassels. :)

ps. enough about you, I wanna talk about me. ;)

MarfMom said...

Your family comes via Spain.
You're a staunch breastfeeding advocate, also outspoken, liberal, and LDS.
You love film and can appreciate the artistry in some R-rated movies.

Melanie Jacobson said...

I met my baby daddy (and yes, it's the proper term as opposed to husband in the case of my eldest and is, in its own way, far more respectful than "ex") at Barnes and Noble when he worked there. If you saw the kind of crazy/bizarre stuff he did on a regular basis, you should do a whole post on just that. I bet it would make a month of posts, actually. And I firmly believe that even if B&N paid me in books for the rest of my life, even HARD COVER books, it would still not be enough to clean their restroom even one time.

Melanie Jacobson said...

P.S. I once defended the wearing of flip flops here in the comment trail of your blog, despite my fabulous shoe collection. But that's when I lived in Huntington Beach. We bought a non-beach house earlier this summer, and so I guess I better repent.

Flip flops are only for the beach. If your city doesn't have beach in the title and you're wearing flip flops, you're just NOT TRYING.

The Atomic Mom said...

I don't have any knowledge of you past your blog, so I'm not going to venture, but I do miss your Mid-century Modern Utah blog. That's how I found you in the first place. Mid-century modern is also a favortie of mine.

Mrs. Ordinary said...

You use a Dove bar for that perfect skin of yours.

thedoodlegirl said...

You are an amazing artist! (In many different ways! cakes, painting, drawing, sewing, fashion, etc.) :)

Annette Lyon said...

Despises Olive Garden.

BYU brat. (I am one too, so that's a good thing.)

Likely said...

When you walk up stairs in your heels your heel is off the stair, just your toe is touching the stair. I remember seeing you do this a couple times following you up your stairs in the villa (wasn't it called Garden Villa? I can't remember now...) I remember thinking "oh, that's how you do stairs in heels".

You give nice baby presents. You were the first person to ever give me a baby present :)

You add cardamom to your cider.

Morgan Moore said...

2 words:


Mary said...

I can't believe nobody has mentioned your inappropriate crush on Charlie Sheen.

Ew. I grossed myself out just typing that.

Heather M said...

Smart. Verbose. Popular. And the only person who ever puked while sitting next to me on a plane. It's a shame you didn't reach for the vomit bag soon enough! Now, what do you remember about me? :)