Thursday, March 24, 2011

How I Used to Be a Better Blogger

Searching my archive tonight for a specific post led to me reading a bunch of old posts. The internal reflective consensus is that I used to be a better/more interesting blogger. It's been a slow, inevitable, Romanesque decline. I expect the Visigoths to knock on my door sometime in the next week. Visigoths look like pest control salesmen these days.

I like to blame Twitter. If I had an observation or a joke I was trying to work out, I stored it and worked it into a blog later. Now I can just slide my phone open and throw it out there. Lazy. (Not lazy for those of you who follow me on the Twitters; all kinds of convenient for you.)

I suppose you could also blame my work. Since I started writing this blog, my work went from writing occasionally, to being the focus of my career. While it's still fun to try voices out on this here blog (Appalachian!?) I use most of my creative inclinations for paying clients.

I can't help but think over the past year's complete uncertainty and roiling personal waters as stealing some of my mojo. The personal reflective time I used to spend blogging is now often spent in my head, trying to make sense of all the miracles and disasters that surround me. My head feels so full I can hardly hold it up, but I can't find the words to empty it. The fear of developing a bitter bite encroaches. I like writing for you, but the posts can't all be good. Most of them are barely passable. Every once in a while I write something I really love.

The clock says it's fast rounding the corner of 1am, and I am fast losing my admiration for Ben Stein's recommendations. Maybe I can distract myself with a new project! Reorganize the laundry system! Do a closet purge! Perform a used car search to research buying a car we couldn't possibly afford! Learn how to change the oil and filter on a lawn mower! Worry! Excessively and without reason!

So, to tie it all up into a bow: nothing is like it used to be and that is scary.


Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

Yes, yes. To all of that.

Twitter gave me ADD.

Taking on paid writing gigs sucked my creative juices dry.

And trying to filter and minimize personal drama just wrecks the best of intentions.

I hear you.

(As I waste time at 1am telling myself I will write a post at any moment).

Vern said...

I often feel this way too, except I don't even have a Twitter account or a paid gig to help deflect the blame!

MediocreMama said...

I used to be better at blogging too.

It happens. Mostly because life happens.

TheOneTrueSue said...

Yes, everything you said. All of my writing energy gets sapped away at work.

The last two years have been chock full of personal/family/financial/etc drama - none of it stuff I could talk about on my blog. And since I can't be honest I usually feel like there is no point in saying anything at all. Most of what I would've thrown out into the blogosphere would've been incredibly negative and sarcastic. I figure I'm doing people a service by keeping my mouth shut.

noelle said...

how have we missed discussing big love? i feel exactly the same way as you - the show drove me nuts all the way through because it was like they went out of their way to avoid hiring a consultant or ignored any consultants who told them that mormon teenagers don't walk around saying things like, "because i have been commanded to choose the right." so happy it's over.

Fig said...

Me too, yo. Have been thinking all the same things.

And Big Love can suck rocks.

Fig said...
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kami @ said...

I completely know what you mean. Lately I am the "teaser" queen. Using my blog just to tease everyone else where. Never saving the good stuff for NoBiggie.

Ahhh, whatever. I think as long as it's you and an update, we are all good. NoBiggie. :)

Mary said...

I was just thinking the same thing about my blog. And I don't have any excuses like Twitter or being paid to write. I'm just boring as all hell lately.

However, your blog still delights.

Bebe McGooch said...

I gave up being an interesting blogger long ago. Just don't have the time nor the brain space to try to be clever and grammatically correct simultaneously. Funny enough, I completely enjoy having let go of blog obligations and expectations. Maybe it now has something to do with the fact that my family reads my blog too. Who knows. But I'm happy that I let go of my "rules" and that I'm not so concerned with content. I just wish some friends I have would stop being so critical of others' blogs. Makes me realize that I'm on their list of "ugh, I can't believe her blog is like that." (In fact, I purposely made my blog background a cheesy wedding picture because I knew it would make these friends roll their eyes, if they even bother to read it.) If I remember correctly, it was you, Sugar, who once told me, "I mean, it's just a BLOG."