Friday, March 04, 2011

I Lose My Favorite Job

“I don’t want you in my family anymore,” declared Proximo, “I don’t want you as my mama!”
“Oh, I’m not your mama anymore?”
“And I don’t want daddy or my brother, either.”
“So you’ll live here by yourself?”
“I see. Well. Who will make your breakfast?”
“I do it mysef.”
“Who will put on your shows?”
“I do it mysef.”
“Who will help you with your socks and shoes?”
“I do it mysef.”
“Who will help you put on your jacket?


“Who’ll tuck you into bed?”
“I do it mysef.”
“Oh, can I go then?”
“No. Stay with me. Don’t leave. AND you’re an IDIOT!”
“An idiot, huh?”
“YES. You’re AN IDIOT. Know who else thinking you’re an idiot?”
“Nana thinks you’re an idiot. Grandpa thinks you’re an idiot. Tia Jeffiner thinks you’re an idiot. Abuelita thinks you’re an idiot.”
“No they don’t, they love me.”
“You’re an idiot, and you’re not my mama anymore!”
“Ah. OK. I still love you, you’re my baby.”
“No, I’m not. When is dinner?”
“I thought I wasn’t your mama.”

*significant pause*

“You can be my mama again. You can be in my family.”


Anonymous said...

In moods like this, my 4 year old shouts at me "I'm not your mom anymore!"

eliana23 said...

Aren't you super excited for the next one to arrive?

Vern said...

Fired and rehired in the same conversation. Nicely done!

C. Jane said...

Yeah, I've seen the way that kid can't even stand to be five inches away from you. I knew that dismissal wouldn't last long.

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Oh, man, what a little stinker!

Jennifer B. said...


Amy said...

Thank you. I've been reading too many blogs about idyllic homeschooling moms who live on acres of land and grow all their own food and whose children are brilliant and well-adjusted. I keep hoping for more of this kind of post. I relate to you much better. Today my 4-year-old threatened me with the silent treatment: "I'm never talking to you again!" Little does he know that given his sassy behavior today, I would have welcomed it. Sadly, he didn't follow through.

Natalia said...

Well, at least he has his priorities straight... you do what you gotta do to make sure you're going to get food!

whitneyingram said...

Yeah, the whole abandonment debacle comes to a peak when food is thrown in the mix. All of the sudden, you are important.

Today's Gift said...

Runaway Bunny. Cute picture!

Mary said...

You can be my mama, too, if you will cook my dinner. I don't want to cook anymore.

And I'll bet that Nana doesn't really think you're an idiot.

Tzipporah said...

Sounds like a hostile work environment. You should have negotiated a raise.

Natasha said...

That is priceless! I had a conversation kind of like this with my five year old. I am glad I am not the only one!

Melody said...


dmarie said...

i would've been shut down the second i called my mom an idiot...the choice to be in the family would not longer have been mine. my daughter has not resorted to name-calling, so i'm not sure how i'd react. she DID, however, tell me at three years of age that i didn't "understand" her. i thought i had until she was 13 for that kind of stuff...

Azúcar said...

Me too, dmarie, me too. And believe me, my then six-year-old lived to regret those words. However, this one is three and didn't know what he was saying; he was aping his brother and he was upset with me. Normally I wouldn't tolerate it, but in this case, I knew he needed to safely vent.

dmarie said...

those dang older sibs...such bad influences! ;) glad you got your job back.

Kim at Beehive Blog said...

LOL - weirdly, I am still occasionally having this conversation with my 14 yo! :)